Yale professor teaches influence and she says it's your superpower

Yale professor teaches influence and she says it's your superpower

Transcript¹

NPR's A Martinez speaks with Zoe Chance about her book: Influence is your Superpower.

LEILA FADEL, HOST:

Students at Yale University can take a class in how to increase their influence in the world. The instructor² behind it, Zoe Chance, has written a book called "Influence Is Your Superpower." She describes people as either having gator or judge personalities³. She told our co-host A Martinez what she means by those terms.

ZOE CHANCE: I actually believe all of us are gators at heart. And the gator part is our unconscious, intuitive, emotional, habitual⁴ part of us that drives up to 95% of our decisions and behavior. The judge part, which we also all have, is the slow, conscious, rational, deliberative decision-making system that's only responsible for a tiny little shred⁵ of what we do. And our visceral responses, our emotional preferences have a lot of sway on our reasoning. It turns into rationalization of what we already wanted a lot of the time. And there's very little influence going the other direction. So as someone trying to influence another human being, it's absolutely critical that we focus on that unconscious, emotional, habitual gator system first. Have them be interested and excited and curious to hear what we have to say before shifting to the judge.

A MARTINEZ, BYLINE⁶: Is there a way to toggle somehow between the two to understand and to know what you're doing when you're doing it?

CHANCE: You can't be aware of the unconscious - right? - just by definition. It's not possible. So you can't perceive it or feel it. But you can perceive your emotions, right? You can know, OK, for example, I'm in a state of agitation⁷, stress, anger, worry, hunger, exhaustion⁸, and you just know you're not going to be making good decisions at that time. So the simplest thing that you can do is just table a big decision. Or if someone's trying to pressure you - all these transactional sales situations where you get to buy now, special deal today only - if you just sleep on it, the deal will still be there.

MARTINEZ: In a course you developed at Yale, you challenge your students to say no for 24 hours. I mean, what does that exercise in particular teach them?

CHANCE: People hate this exercise when I tell them about it...

MARTINEZ: (Laughter).

CHANCE: ...And they love the exercise after they did it. For 24 hours of no, first of all, people are discovering that almost all of us are people pleasers. Our initial just gut⁹ response to most requests from people we know is we try to say yes. We look at our calendar, see if there's a spot, and we put them in it. And we have been unintentionally giving away our most valuable resource, which is our time and attention. The second big discovery is that other people are so much more OK with us saying no than we expected. They don't hate us for it. They were just asking. So we say no. And they're - you know, maybe they ask why. But it's really OK.

MARTINEZ: Yeah. That ends things, doesn't it? - because saying yes keeps things going that maybe you don't want to keep going. But no is a nice, big, old red stop sign.

CHANCE: Yeah. And weirdly¹⁰, when we get more comfortable saying no - this is the weirdest¹¹ part - we get more comfortable asking. And our requests don't have that edge of neediness¹² that can be kind of repulsive¹³. So people are more inclined to say yes to us when we are more comfortable saying no.

MARTINEZ: So this - does this kind of flow into your theory on just asking for what you want?

CHANCE: Yes, absolutely. This is such a simple thing that it's embarrassing that when you come to a place like Yale and you take the most popular class, a big takeaway is just ask - because you should know these things already, and someone should have taught you in elementary school. But we don't realize how little we're asking, how rarely we're asking, how often and how much we could ask for, but especially we don't realize how nice people are. That's the biggest thing. People are two or three times more likely to say yes than we think that they will be.

MARTINEZ: There was a part of the book that really kind of sucked me in, and that was the magic question. What is the magic question, and why is it so effective?

CHANCE: The magic question is, what would it take? To illustrate¹⁴, here's a story to show how it works. In Zambia, there's been a sex trafficking conference where Gloria Steinem was there as an expert talking on this issue and giving advice. She goes to a village that's facing that issue. And three young women have been lost to sex traffickers the previous year. Instead of giving them advice, she asks the magic question. She says, what would it take for that to never happen again? They told her an electric fence. An electric fence? They said, when the corn reaches a certain height, the elephants come, and they eat it, and they trample¹⁵ it. We have no food. We have nothing to sell at the market. We have no money to send our kids to school. And these women and their families were desperate. So Gloria Steinem goes back home. She raises a few thousand dollars, sends them the money. And the way she tells it, when she comes back a few years later, there's a bumper¹⁶ crop of corn. No women have left the village to sex trafficking since they got the fence. The magic question is magic because, first of all, it's respectful. This is a way that you want to be influenced by someone. So even when you teach it to other people and they're using it with you, you ask each other, what would it take? - and - ah, the magic question. But you tell each other it feels good. The magic question is magic because you get creative and surprising answers that you never would have expected. And thirdly, it's magic because when they tell you, here's the roadmap to success, they are implicitly¹⁷ committing to supporting that outcome. So the way I hear this story, it's not that the fence magically prevented sex trafficking. It's that the women who had asked for the fence made sure that after they got it, no one was going to leave the village that way.

MARTINEZ: One last thing, Zoe - so what's the one piece of advice for starting out maybe small as you try to increase your influence power?

CHANCE: You know, honestly, A, I would start with the magic question, what would it take?

MARTINEZ: Oh, OK.

CHANCE: But you don't have to go to the high-stakes situation of asking for a raise or a promotion¹⁸. Like, what is it that is - difficulty that you're having at home? If you have kids, maybe, you know, your kid isn't putting clothes in the hamper¹⁹. What would it take for you to put the clothes in the hamper? Asking your friends, what would it take for us to go on a vacation together? Whatever it is that you want, just start asking, what would it take? And you will be surprised. It feels like magic. Once in a while, you find out it's impossible, but much less often than you expect.

MARTINEZ: That's Zoe Chance. Her book is called "Influence Is Your Superpower: The Science Of Winning Hearts, Sparking Change, And Making Good Things Happen."

Zoe, thanks.

CHANCE: Thank you so much.

(SOUNDBITE OF EDAPOLLO'S "BY THE RIVER")

1 transcript   

n.抄本，誊本，副本，肄业证书

参考例句：

• A transcript of the tapes was presented as evidence in court.一份录音带的文字本作为证据被呈交法庭。
• They wouldn't let me have a transcript of the interview.他们拒绝给我一份采访的文字整理稿。

2 instructor   

n.指导者，教员，教练

参考例句：

• The college jumped him from instructor to full professor.大学突然把他从讲师提升为正教授。
• The skiing instructor was a tall,sunburnt man.滑雪教练是一个高高个子晒得黑黑的男子。

3 personalities   

n. 诽谤，（对某人容貌、性格等所进行的）人身攻击； 人身攻击；人格, 个性, 名人( personality的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• There seemed to be a degree of personalities in her remarks.她话里有些人身攻击的成分。
• Personalities are not in good taste in general conversation.在一般的谈话中诽谤他人是不高尚的。

4 habitual   

adj.习惯性的；通常的，惯常的

参考例句：

• He is a habitual criminal.他是一个惯犯。
• They are habitual visitors to our house.他们是我家的常客。

5 shred   

v.撕成碎片，变成碎片；n.碎布条，细片，些少

参考例句：

• There is not a shred of truth in what he says.他说的全是骗人的鬼话。
• The food processor can shred all kinds of vegetables.这架食品加工机可将各种蔬菜切丝切条。

6 byline   

n.署名；v.署名

参考例句：

• His byline was absent as well.他的署名也不见了。
• We wish to thank the author of this article which carries no byline.我们要感谢这篇文章的那位没有署名的作者。

7 agitation   

n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动

参考例句：

• Small shopkeepers carried on a long agitation against the big department stores.小店主们长期以来一直在煽动人们反对大型百货商店。
• These materials require constant agitation to keep them in suspension.这些药剂要经常搅动以保持悬浮状态。

8 exhaustion   

n.耗尽枯竭，疲惫，筋疲力尽，竭尽，详尽无遗的论述

参考例句：

• She slept the sleep of exhaustion.她因疲劳而酣睡。
• His exhaustion was obvious when he fell asleep standing.他站着睡着了，显然是太累了。

9 gut   

n.[pl.]胆量；内脏；adj.本能的；vt.取出内脏

参考例句：

• It is not always necessary to gut the fish prior to freezing.冷冻鱼之前并不总是需要先把内脏掏空。
• My immediate gut feeling was to refuse.我本能的直接反应是拒绝。

10 weirdly   

古怪地

参考例句：

• Another special characteristic of Kweilin is its weirdly-shaped mountain grottoes. 桂林的另一特点是其形态怪异的岩洞。
• The country was weirdly transformed. 地势古怪地变了样。

11 weirdest   

怪诞的( weird的最高级 )； 神秘而可怕的； 超然的； 古怪的

参考例句：

• Think of the weirdest, craziest shit you'd like to see chicks do. 想想这最怪异，最疯狂的屁事。你会喜欢看这些鸡巴表演的。
• It's still the weirdest damn sound I ever heard out of a Jersey boy. 这是我所听过新泽西人最为怪异的音调了。

12 neediness   

n.穷困，贫穷

参考例句：

• He recognized her neediness but had no time to respond to it. 他看出了她的需要但没有时间回应。 来自互联网
• In costumes more extravagant than any Gaultier concert frocks, he revealed an actor's narcissism, neediness, daring. 角色浓艳戏服下，他抖出了一个演员的自恋、需索和毋视世俗。 来自互联网

13 repulsive   

adj.排斥的，使人反感的

参考例句：

• She found the idea deeply repulsive.她发现这个想法很恶心。
• The repulsive force within the nucleus is enormous.核子内部的斥力是巨大的。

14 illustrate   

v.举例说明，阐明；图解，加插图

参考例句：

• The company's bank statements illustrate its success.这家公司的银行报表说明了它的成功。
• This diagram will illustrate what I mean.这个图表可说明我的意思。

15 trample   

vt.踩，践踏；无视，伤害，侵犯

参考例句：

• Don't trample on the grass. 勿踏草地。
• Don't trample on the flowers when you play in the garden. 在花园里玩耍时,不要踩坏花。

16 bumper   

n.(汽车上的)保险杠；adj.特大的，丰盛的

参考例句：

• The painting represents the scene of a bumper harvest.这幅画描绘了丰收的景象。
• This year we have a bumper harvest in grain.今年我们谷物丰收。

17 implicitly   

adv. 含蓄地, 暗中地, 毫不保留地

参考例句：

• Many verbs and many words of other kinds are implicitly causal. 许多动词和许多其他类词都蕴涵着因果关系。
• I can trust Mr. Somerville implicitly, I suppose? 我想，我可以毫无保留地信任萨莫维尔先生吧？

18 promotion   

n.提升，晋级；促销，宣传

参考例句：

• The teacher conferred with the principal about Dick's promotion.教师与校长商谈了迪克的升级问题。
• The clerk was given a promotion and an increase in salary.那个职员升了级，加了薪。

19 hamper   

vt.妨碍，束缚，限制；n.(有盖的)大篮子

参考例句：

• There are some apples in a picnic hamper.在野餐用的大篮子里有许多苹果。
• The emergence of such problems seriously hamper the development of enterprises.这些问题的出现严重阻碍了企业的发展。