TED演讲:内心的喧哗(4)

 　　Throughout all of this, what I would ultimately realize  经过这一切，我才恍然大悟

　　was that each voice was closely related to aspects of myself, 每一个我听到的声音都跟自己密切相关

　　and that each of them carried overwhelming emotions that I'd never had an opportunity to process or resolve,  而且都带着丰沛的情绪，只是我以前没机会处理那些记忆

　　memories of sexual trauma¹ and abuse, of anger, shame, guilt², low self-worth. 像是性创伤、性虐待、愤怒、惭愧、罪恶感和妄自菲薄

　　The voices took the place of this pain and gave words to it, 那些声音取代了伤痛，并把痛苦说出来

　　and possibly one of the greatest revelations  不过最重要的启示也许是

　　was when I realized that the most hostile and aggressive voices  当我明白那些最具敌意和侵略性的声音

　　actually represented the parts of me that had been hurt most profoundly, 其实就代表我受伤最深的那部分

　　and as such, it was these voices that needed to be shown the greatest compassion³ and care. 因此，正是这些声音需要最多关爱和同情

　　It was armed with this knowledge that ultimately  正是这样的领悟让我最后

　　I would gather together my shattered self,  愿意把那些声音构成的片段拼凑起来

　　each fragment represented by a different voice, gradually withdraw from all my medication, 找回完整的自我并逐渐摆脱对药物的依赖

　　and return to psychiatry⁴, only this time from the other side.  我又回到精神科，不过这次是研究

　　Ten years after the voice first came, I finally graduated,  第一次听到声音已是10年前的事了

　　this time with the highest degree in psychology⁵ the university had ever given, 而这次我终于取得心理学最高学位!是我母校在该领域颁发过的最高学历

　　and one year later, the highest masters, which shall we say isn't bad for a madwoman. 对一个疯女人来说能取得硕士学历也不差!

　　In fact, one of the voices actually dictated⁶ the answers during the exam, 老实说，考试的时候我还听到报答案的声音

　　which technically⁷ possibly counts as cheating.  这应该算作弊吧!

　　And to be honest, sometimes I quite enjoyed their attention as well.  坦白讲，我有时还挺享受这种被“关照”的感觉

　　As Oscar Wilde has said, the only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about. 就像王尔德说的，唯一比被人议论更糟糕的事就是你这人根本不值一提.

　　It also makes you very good at eavesdropping,  这经验让我非常善于偷听人讲话

　　because you can listen to two conversations simultaneously⁸.  因为我可同时听懂两边的对话

　　So it's not all bad.  算起来也没那么糟!

　　I worked in mental health services, I spoke⁹ at conferences, 我在心理健康部门工作过，也在多场研讨会上发表过演讲

　　I published book chapters and academic articles, and I argued, and continue to do so, 还出版过专文与书籍专章，到目前我还在争论

　　the relevance¹⁰ of the following concept:  接下来这个观念的关联性

　　that an important question in psychiatry shouldn't be what's wrong with you 精神病诊断上，关键问题不应该是：你哪里不对劲?

　　but rather what's happened to you.  而是发生甚么事了?

　　And all the while, I listened to my voices,  这段时间我倾听那些

　　with whom I'd finally learned to live with peace and respect  好不容易得以泰然处之的声音

　　and which in turn reflected a growing sense of compassion, acceptance and respect towards myself. 而这也反映出我越来越能同情、接纳和尊重自己

　　And I remember the most moving and extraordinary moment  记得最令我感动的特别时刻是

　　when supporting another young woman who was terrorized by her voices,  帮助另一个被自己内心声音吓坏的年轻女性

　　and becoming fully¹¹ aware, for the very first time, that I no longer felt that way myself 那是我首次意识到，我看待自己的方式改变了

　　but was finally able to help someone else who was.  而且还有能力帮别人突破

1 trauma   

n.外伤，精神创伤

参考例句：

• Counselling is helping him work through this trauma.心理辅导正帮助他面对痛苦。
• The phobia may have its root in a childhood trauma.恐惧症可能源于童年时期的创伤。

2 guilt   

n.犯罪；内疚；过失，罪责

参考例句：

• She tried to cover up her guilt by lying.她企图用谎言掩饰自己的罪行。
• Don't lay a guilt trip on your child about schoolwork.别因为功课责备孩子而使他觉得很内疚。

3 compassion   

n.同情，怜悯

参考例句：

• He could not help having compassion for the poor creature.他情不自禁地怜悯起那个可怜的人来。
• Her heart was filled with compassion for the motherless children.她对于没有母亲的孩子们充满了怜悯心。

4 psychiatry   

n.精神病学，精神病疗法

参考例句：

• The study appeared in the Amercian science Journal of Psychiatry.这个研究发表在美国精神病学的杂志上。
• A physician is someone who specializes in psychiatry.精神病专家是专门从事精神病治疗的人。

5 psychology   

n.心理，心理学，心理状态

参考例句：

• She has a background in child psychology.她受过儿童心理学的教育。
• He studied philosophy and psychology at Cambridge.他在剑桥大学学习哲学和心理学。

6 dictated   

v.大声讲或读( dictate的过去式和过去分词 )；口授；支配；摆布

参考例句：

• He dictated a letter to his secretary. 他向秘书口授信稿。
• No person of a strong character likes to be dictated to. 没有一个个性强的人愿受人使唤。 来自《简明英汉词典》

7 technically   

adv.专门地，技术上地

参考例句：

• Technically it is the most advanced equipment ever.从技术上说，这是最先进的设备。
• The tomato is technically a fruit,although it is eaten as a vegetable.严格地说，西红柿是一种水果，尽管它是当作蔬菜吃的。

8 simultaneously   

adv.同时发生地，同时进行地

参考例句：

• The radar beam can track a number of targets almost simultaneously.雷达波几乎可以同时追着多个目标。
• The Windows allow a computer user to execute multiple programs simultaneously.Windows允许计算机用户同时运行多个程序。

9 spoke   

n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说

参考例句：

• They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
• The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。

10 relevance   

n.中肯，适当，关联，相关性

参考例句：

• Politicians' private lives have no relevance to their public roles.政治家的私生活与他们的公众角色不相关。
• Her ideas have lost all relevance to the modern world.她的想法与现代社会完全脱节。

11 fully   

adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地

参考例句：

• The doctor asked me to breathe in,then to breathe out fully.医生让我先吸气，然后全部呼出。
• They soon became fully integrated into the local community.他们很快就完全融入了当地人的圈子。