TED演讲: 献给欺凌的受害者(3)

 　　From age 15 to 18, I hated myself for becoming the thing that I loathed¹: a bully². 在15到18岁之间，我憎恨自己，憎恨我变成了我厌恶的样子：一个恃强凌弱的人。

　　When I was 19, I wrote, "I will love myself despite the ease with which I lean toward the opposite." 19岁的时候，我写道:“我将爱我自己，不去在乎自己是否站在自己讨厌的位置。”

　　Standing³ up for yourself doesn't have to mean embracing violence. 自强不息并不表示你需要使用暴力。

　　When I was a kid, I traded in homework assignments for friendship, 当我还是小孩子的时候，我用我的家庭作业换取友谊，

　　then gave each friend a late slip for never showing up on time, and in most cases not at all. 然后又通过迟到避开所有的朋友，一般都不会有什么问题。

　　I gave myself a hall pass to get through each broken promise.  每次爽约我都能立刻原谅自己。

　　And I remember this plan, born out of frustration⁴ from a kid who kept calling me "Yogi," 有次，一个小孩子让我很沮丧，他一直叫我“修行者”，

　　then pointed⁵ at my tummy and said, "Too many picnic baskets." 指着我的肚子说，“好大的野餐篮子。” 因此我有了一个计划。

　　Turns out it's not that hard to trick someone,  我发现原来戏弄一个人也不难，

　　and one day before class, I said, "Yeah, you can copy my homework," 有一天快上课的时候，我对他说：“嘿，给你抄我的作业，”

　　and I gave him all the wrong answers that I'd written down the night before. 然后我把自己昨天写好的错误答案递给了他。

　　He got his paper back expecting a near-perfect score,  他怀着满分的期待去拿作业，却得了0分

　　and couldn't believe it when he looked across the room at me and held up a zero.  他无法相信，在教室的另一头望着我，做出“零”的手势。

　　I knew I didn't have to hold up my paper of 28 out of 30,  我知道我不用把自己接近满分的作业举起来给他看，

　　but my satisfaction was complete when he looked at me, puzzled,  很奇怪，他看着我的时候，我感到很满足，

　　and I thought to myself, "Smarter than the average bear, motherfucker."  我对自己说，“比一般人聪明嘛，狗娘养的。”

　　This is who I am. This is how I stand up for myself. 这就是我。这就是我自强的方式。

1 loathed   

v.憎恨，厌恶( loathe的过去式和过去分词 )；极不喜欢

参考例句：

• Baker loathed going to this red-haired young pup for supplies. 面包师傅不喜欢去这个红头发的自负的傻小子那里拿原料。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Therefore, above all things else, he loathed his miserable self! 因此，他厌恶不幸的自我尤胜其它！ 来自英汉文学 - 红字

2 bully   

n.恃强欺弱者，小流氓；vt.威胁，欺侮

参考例句：

• A bully is always a coward.暴汉常是懦夫。
• The boy gave the bully a pelt on the back with a pebble.那男孩用石子掷击小流氓的背脊。

3 standing   

n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的

参考例句：

• After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
• They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。

4 frustration   

n.挫折，失败，失效，落空

参考例句：

• He had to fight back tears of frustration.他不得不强忍住失意的泪水。
• He beat his hands on the steering wheel in frustration.他沮丧地用手打了几下方向盘。

5 pointed   

adj.尖的，直截了当的

参考例句：

• He gave me a very sharp pointed pencil.他给我一支削得非常尖的铅笔。
• She wished to show Mrs.John Dashwood by this pointed invitation to her brother.她想通过对达茨伍德夫人提出直截了当的邀请向她的哥哥表示出来。