打工姐妹花第一季 第125期:黄段子不停息

 　　Max, come out.

　　麦克斯，出来吧

　　If I came out, it would not be for you, it's be for that hot Dragon Tattoo¹ girl.

　　如果我要出柜，肯定不是因为你，而是为了那个火辣的龙纹身女孩

　　Welcome, board members, to the very first financial assessment² meeting of Max's homemade cupcakes.

　　各位董事会成员，欢迎出席首届麦克斯自制小蛋糕店的财务评估会议

　　I was told there would be a cheese plate.

　　我是听说有起司拼盘才来的

　　After five months in business, we're showing a profit of $725.

　　开业五个月，我们的收益为725元

　　I have to say, I'm a little disappointed.

　　老实说，我感到有点失望

　　Really? 'Cause, dude, we have so far exceeded where I thought we'd be in five months.

　　真的吗，有这样的收益，比我预期中五个月后的下场好多了

　　Look, we have to find a way to make more money on the side to put into the business.

　　我们得想个办法赚点外快，好增加开店基金

　　Or we could quit now, while we're a success.

　　或趁现在小有成就，赶紧金盆洗手

　　What are you talking about?

　　你这什么话

　　It's only gonna get worse.

　　未来只会每况愈下

　　Or it could get better. Why would you even say that?

　　也可以蒸蒸日上啊，你干嘛这么悲观

　　Because it's life, and life gets worse, that's what it does.

　　这就是人生，人生只会每况愈下

　　On life's resume, under special skills it says, "Good at making things worse."

　　如果"人生"有简历，那专长栏上肯定写着，"擅于使情况每况愈下"

　　Do you always go to the worst-case scenario³?

　　为什么你总是往最坏的方面想呢

　　Yup. On my resume it says, "Good at going to the worst case scenario."

　　没错，我的简历就写着"擅于往最坏的方面想"

　　Do you think you could try to be more optimistic, and not expect the worst all the time?

　　你能不能乐观一点，不要总往最坏的方面想呀

　　Who's that? More optimistic, right?

　　谁啊？要我乐观是吧

　　On the other side of that door is all the money you lost,

　　门的另一边，是你失去的亿万家财

　　and then we move back into your townhouse, and I masturbate in your tub for a change.

　　我们欢喜搬回你的别墅，换我在你的小缸缸里自慰到爽

1 tattoo   

n.纹身，(皮肤上的)刺花纹；vt.刺花纹于

参考例句：

• I've decided to get my tattoo removed.我已经决定去掉我身上的纹身。
• He had a tattoo on the back of his hand.他手背上刺有花纹。

2 assessment   

n.评价；评估；对财产的估价，被估定的金额

参考例句：

• This is a very perceptive assessment of the situation.这是一个对该情况的极富洞察力的评价。
• What is your assessment of the situation?你对时局的看法如何？

3 scenario   

n.剧本，脚本；概要

参考例句：

• But the birth scenario is not completely accurate.然而分娩脚本并非完全准确的。
• This is a totally different scenario.这是完全不同的剧本。