读者文摘:搞笑趣事两则

It was basic training, and I was seated in the barber chair bemoaning¹ the impending² loss of my hair when the barber asked, "Where are you from?"

那是在基础训练时期，我坐在理发椅上，为头发即将被剪掉而哀叹时，理发师问我：“你来自哪里？”

"St. Louis," I grumbled³."Hey, I'm from St. Louis too!" he said.

我喃喃地说，“圣路易斯。”“我也来自圣路易斯！”他说。

He then asked conspiratorially⁴, "Do you want to keep your sideburns?" I perked⁵ up. "Sure!"

然后他阴谋地问道：“你想留着鬓角吗？”我活跃起来了。“当然！”

With that, he revved⁶ up the razor, clipped off my sideburns, and gave them to me.

说着，他加快了剃刀的速度，刮掉了我的鬓角，递给了我。

As I left the barbershop with sideburns in hand, I heard him ask his next victim, "Where are you from?"

当我手捧鬓角离开理发店时，我听到他问下一个受害者：“你来自哪里？”

"Chicago." "Hey, I'm from Chicago too!"

“芝加哥。”“嘿，我也来自芝加哥！”

During KP duty, my sergeant⁷ ordered me to prepare 100 gallons of soup for that night's dinner.

在做帮厨值勤期间，我的中士命令我为那天晚上的晚餐准备100加仑的汤。

When I told him I had no clue how to make soup, he handed me a cook-book and instructed, "Follow the directions carefully."

当我告诉他我不知道怎么做汤的时候，他递给我一本烹饪书，并告诉我：“认真按照说明做。”

Not long after, I had a large kettle of soup simmering. The sergeant came in, grabbed a spoon, and took a taste.

没过多久，我就炖了一大锅汤。警官走了进来，抓起一把勺子，尝了一口。

"This is really good," he said. "Are you sure you followed the recipe?"

“这真的很好喝，”他说。“你确定你按照食谱做了吗？”

1 bemoaning   

v.为（某人或某事）抱怨( bemoan的现在分词 )；悲悼；为…恸哭；哀叹

参考例句：

• They sat bemoaning the fact that no one would give them a chance. 他们坐着埋怨别人不肯给他们一个机会。
• The rest were disappointed, miserable creatures in unwarm beds, tearfully bemoaning their fate. 剩下那些不幸的人，失望的人在不温暖的被窝里悲泣自己的命运。 来自汉英文学 - 家（1-26） - 家（1-26）

2 impending   

a.imminent, about to come or happen

参考例句：

• Against a background of impending famine, heavy fighting took place. 即将发生饥荒之时，严重的战乱爆发了。
• The king convoke parliament to cope with the impending danger. 国王召开国会以应付迫近眉睫的危险。

3 grumbled   

抱怨( grumble的过去式和过去分词 )； 发牢骚； 咕哝； 发哼声

参考例句：

• He grumbled at the low pay offered to him. 他抱怨给他的工资低。
• The heat was sweltering, and the men grumbled fiercely over their work. 天热得让人发昏，水手们边干活边发着牢骚。

4 conspiratorially   

参考例句：

• Winking conspiratorially at his chum. 对同房间的人狡黠地眨了眨眼。 来自互联网

5 perked   

（使）活跃( perk的过去式和过去分词 )； （使）增值； 使更有趣

参考例句：

• The recent demand for houses has perked up the prices. 最近对住房的需求使房价上涨了。
• You've perked up since this morning. 你今天上午精神就好多了。

6 revved   

v.（使）加速( rev的过去式和过去分词 )；（数量、活动等）激增；（使发动机）快速旋转；（使）活跃起来

参考例句：

• The taxi driver revved up his engine. 出租车司机把发动机发动起来。
• The car revved up and roared away. 汽车发动起来，然后轰鸣着开走了。 来自《简明英汉词典》

7 sergeant   

n.警官，中士

参考例句：

• His elder brother is a sergeant.他哥哥是个警官。
• How many stripes are there on the sleeve of a sergeant?陆军中士的袖子上有多少条纹？