办公室生存法则

And welcome back, it's 15 minutes before the hour. Dealing¹ with difficult people and situations at work got a whole lot easier.

That's because our next guest,Marilyn Puder-York,has written a brand new book called "The Office Survival Guide". And you are er, immanently qualified² to write this, you got a PhD in this stuff.

A PhD in clinical psychology³ and I've been an executive coach for about 30 years.

And you've also been in the workplace and you've seen the mistakes that people made over and over again, and you have that out there. For example, you even mentioned yourself, you reacted emotionally once when someone talked about your company scaling down.

That's right.

You went into a rave⁴ saying why they shouldn't and you reacted as if it was a person. That's , that's an in er... that's an inanimate object. (That was...)

That was...I had a blind spot. I , I was raised to think I was supposed to rescue everybody and then they decided⁵ to tell me that my...had to fire my staff and downsize my department and I took it personally, which is one of the Achilles' Heels for what people do - they take things personally at work.

But in a working environment people don't come there, you know, they are not, they are not machines, so they do come, they come into a working environment carrying a certain amount of baggage, how they've been raised, the kind of experience they've had in the past and so everybody comes in here with a different set of issues. So how, how do you deal with different people in the, in the workplace to make sure that um, you know, it's not as challenging?

Well, number one, first of all, everybody comes with baggage and everybody has issues, and that's a given, but I think the one, the most important thing to do is to be as self-aware as you can about your own Achilles' Heels and your own vulnerabilities. First take responsibility for yourself, know your blind spots, you know, know what difficult situations you're gonna react inappropriately to so that you can control them, and you can control your emotions and curb⁶ any kind of impulsive⁷ actions on your part, so you don't, you know, inappropriately act with other people.

But you say, er, when it comes to co-workers, don't treat them like family members. What do you mean?

Absolutely. Well, the environment, first of all is not a family. It's a political entity⁸. So your, your co-workers are not your siblings⁹, your boss is not your parent (even though you might see them more), even though you might see them more, and even though we might feel as if they are. The truth of the matter is they are not, and you don't want to project whatever familiar patterns you had with your siblings, which might have been competitive or collegial depending upon your past history, but you don't want to project that which you had in your family onto the work environment because it is an objective rational environment even though sometimes it may feel irrational¹⁰. You want to maintain rationality and you know, other people may react badly but you want to react as rationally as possible. So you want to curb your emotions and you want to make sure that you er, don't take, you know, everybody so personally.

She is the au..the author of "The Office Survival Guide", glad great tips here; how to make it in the world to hold on to that job you have right now and identify your weaknesses and strengths before you start any position.

It really is a fascinating book. It really is.

Thank you, thank you very much, thanks for having me.

Thanks for being here.

All right coming up straight ahead...

1 dealing   

n.经商方法，待人态度

参考例句：

• This store has an excellent reputation for fair dealing.该商店因买卖公道而享有极高的声誉。
• His fair dealing earned our confidence.他的诚实的行为获得我们的信任。

2 qualified   

adj.合格的，有资格的，胜任的，有限制的

参考例句：

• He is qualified as a complete man of letters.他有资格当真正的文学家。
• We must note that we still lack qualified specialists.我们必须看到我们还缺乏有资质的专家。

3 psychology   

n.心理，心理学，心理状态

参考例句：

• She has a background in child psychology.她受过儿童心理学的教育。
• He studied philosophy and psychology at Cambridge.他在剑桥大学学习哲学和心理学。

4 rave   

vi.胡言乱语；热衷谈论；n.热情赞扬

参考例句：

• The drunkard began to rave again.这酒鬼又开始胡言乱语了。
• Now I understand why readers rave about this book.我现明白读者为何对这本书赞不绝口了。

5 decided   

adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的

参考例句：

• This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
• There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。

6 curb   

n.场外证券市场，场外交易；vt.制止，抑制

参考例句：

• I could not curb my anger.我按捺不住我的愤怒。
• You must curb your daughter when you are in church.你在教堂时必须管住你的女儿。

7 impulsive   

adj.冲动的，刺激的；有推动力的

参考例句：

• She is impulsive in her actions.她的行为常出于冲动。
• He was neither an impulsive nor an emotional man,but a very honest and sincere one.他不是个一冲动就鲁莽行事的人，也不多愁善感.他为人十分正直、诚恳。

8 entity   

n.实体，独立存在体，实际存在物

参考例句：

• The country is no longer one political entity.这个国家不再是一个统一的政治实体了。
• As a separate legal entity,the corporation must pay taxes.作为一个独立的法律实体，公司必须纳税。

9 siblings   

n.兄弟，姐妹( sibling的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• A triplet sleeps amongst its two siblings. 一个三胞胎睡在其两个同胞之间。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• She has no way of tracking the donor or her half-siblings down. 她没办法找到那个捐精者或她的兄弟姐妹。 来自时文部分

10 irrational   

adj.无理性的，失去理性的

参考例句：

• After taking the drug she became completely irrational.她在吸毒后变得完全失去了理性。
• There are also signs of irrational exuberance among some investors.在某些投资者中是存在非理性繁荣的征象的。