英语笑话听力+文本：MOSES & JESUS 摩西和耶稣

A burglar¹ breaks into a house. He sees a CD player that he wants so he takes it. Then he hears a voice "JESUS is watching you". He looks around with his flashlight wandering "What The HELL² Was That?". He spots some $ on a table and takes it......Once again he hears a voice " JESUS is watching you". He hides in a corner trying to find where the voice came from. He spots a birdcage with a parrot in it! He goes over and asks " Was that your voice?". It said "YES". He then says "What's your name?". It says "MOSES". The burglar says " What kind of person names his bird moses??" The parrot replys "THE SAME PERSON THAT NAMES HIS Rottweiler "JESUS".

一个窃贼潜入一户人家。他看到一个喜欢的CD机，他赶紧拿了。就在这个时候他听到有人说：“耶稣正在看着你。”他照着手电看来看去，嘀咕着：“到底是什么人在说话？”这时，他看到桌子上有些钱，他又拿了。。。那声音又来了：“耶稣正在看着你。”他躲到一个角落，想找出是谁在说话。结果看到一只鹦鹉，于是他问鹦鹉：“是你在说话吗？”鹦鹉承认了。 小贼说：“你叫什么名字？”“摩西”。小贼说：“什么人给鸟取这种名字？”鹦鹉回答：“就是那个给他的罗威那犬取名为‘耶稣’的那个人啊。”
 

1 burglar   

n.窃贼，破门盗窃者

参考例句：

• The policeman took the burglar by surprise as he opened the window.当夜盗开窗时，警察冷不防地捉住了他。
• The man glanced the burglar climbing out of the window.那人瞥见小偷从窗户爬出来。

2 hell   

n.地狱，阴间；用以咒骂或表示愤怒，不满

参考例句：

• It's a hell of a hike from Sydney to Perth.从悉尼到珀斯的徒步旅行简直苦死了。
• The boss really gave me hell today.老板今天着实数落了我一通。