第748期:我爱上学-开学第一天爆出的神级英文笑话

最近，对于不少同学来说，暑假已经彻底结束，只因为三个字:开学了！无论你有多么不情不愿，瑟瑟发抖，又或是斗志昂扬，都得老老实实背着书包去上学。暑假结束的前兆之一就是通宵达旦补暑假作业，不知道即将要报道的你，有没有将暑假作业完成呢。今天我们来听一些关于开学季笑话，相信一定会让你感同身受，会心一笑哦。

Silly, but ridiculously funny School Jokes For Kids can break the ice between new friends in school, lighten¹ up an awkward² moment while waiting for a school bus and can definitely³ win a lot of hearts for teacher. Check it out!

愚蠢，滑稽的学校笑话可以打破学校里新朋友之间的僵局，在等校车的时候让尴尬的时刻变得轻松起来，肯定能赢得很多老师的心。过来看！

Teacher: Andrew, where is your homework?

Andrew: I ate it.

Teacher: Why?!

Andrew: You said it was piece of cake!

老师：安德鲁，你的作业在哪里？

安德鲁：我吃了。

老师：为什么？！

安德鲁：你说是小菜一碟！

Johnny: Teacher, would you punish⁴ me for something I didn't do?

Teacher: Of course not.

Johnny: Good, because I didn't do my homework.

约翰尼：老师，你会因为我没有做的事惩罚我吗？

老师：当然不是。

约翰尼：很好，因为我没有做作业。

Teacher: Why did you eat your homework, Joe?

Joe: Because I don't have a dog.

老师：乔，你为什么吃作业？

乔：因为我没有狗。

Teacher: Why are you late for class, Peter?

Peter: Because of the sign on the road.

Teacher: What sign, Peter?

Peter: School Ahead⁵. Go slow!

老师：彼得，你为什么上课迟到？

彼得：因为路上的标志？

老师：什么标志，彼得？

彼得：前方学校，请慢行！

Q: Why did the math book look so sad when school started again?

A: Because it had so many problems..

问：开学的时候，为什么这本数学书看起来那么悲伤？

答：因为它有很多问题。

Q: Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to the first day of school?

A: She heard her new students were bright.

问：老师为什么要戴墨镜上学？

答：她听说她的新学生很聪明。

Nate: Why was school easier for cave⁶ people?

Kate: Why?

Nate: Because there was no history to study!

奈特：为什么穴居人更容易上学？

凯特：为什么？

内特：因为没有历史可学！

1 lighten   

vt./vi.减轻，变轻；照亮，变亮

参考例句：

• The sky began to lighten after the storm.暴风雨后天空开始放晴。
• They decided to lighten taxes.他们决定减轻税收。

2 awkward   

adj.笨拙的，尴尬的，使用不便的，难处理的

参考例句：

• John is so shy and awkward that everyone notices him.约翰如此害羞狼狈，以至于大家都注意到了他。
• I was the only man among the guests and felt rather awkward.作为客人中的唯一男性，我有些窘迫。

3 definitely   

adv.一定地，肯定地；明确地，确切地

参考例句：

• The team will definitely lose if he doesn't play.如果他不参加比赛，这个队肯定会输。
• I shall definitely be home before six o'clock.6点以前，我一定回家。

4 punish   

v.惩罚，处罚

参考例句：

• Don't punish the boy for no good reason.不要莫明其妙地惩罚孩子。
• How do your parents punish you?你的父母如何处罚你？

5 ahead   

adv.在前，向前，提前，在前面

参考例句：

• We have to go ahead to find a garage.我们得到前边找个修车厂。
• Youth looks ahead and age backward.青年人向前看，老年人向后看。

6 cave   

n.洞穴；窑洞

参考例句：

• Where's the entrance to the cave?这个洞穴的入口在哪里？
• They opened the door and a great cave opened out before them.他们打开门，看到了一个大洞穴展现在面前。