英语励志美文精华 27

A Mask Was Stifling¹ Me

by Lucy Freeman

I believe that everyone wants to love and be loved and that happiness stems from a facing and acceptance of self that allows you to give and receive love.

Some think of love as a passionate², hungry, dramatic feeling, all-consuming in intensity³ and desire. As I see it, this is, rather, immature⁴ love; it is a demand on others, not a giving of oneself. Mature love, the love that brings happiness, flows out of an inner fullness, and accepts, understands, and is tender toward the other person. It does not ask to be served, but only where it may serve.

Six years ago, I could hardly breathe because of acute sinus. My stomach was always upset and full of queasiness⁵, and I had trouble sleeping, even though I felt exhausted⁶ all the time. In desperation, after doctors who treated the physical symptoms failed to ease the pain, I tried psychoanalysis. I was lucky to find a wise, compassionate⁸ man who showed me what it meant to be able to trust myself and others.

The physical ills are gone, but more than that, I have at long last started to acquire a philosophy of living. I had never possessed⁹ one. I had lived on dogma and dicta which I had accepted unquestioningly through the years, even though I believed little of it, because I feared to question. But by being unable to live naturally and at peace with myself, I was flying in the face of nature. She was punishing me with illness and, at the same time, informing me all was not well, just in case I wanted to do something about it.

In order to change, I needed help in facing myself. For me, it was not easy to “know thyself.” All my life I had accepted the lesser¹⁰ of the two evils and run away from self, because truth was more dangerous. Once I thought that to survive, I had to put on a mask and forget what lay underneath¹¹. But masks are false protections, and the inner part of me refused to go unheard forever. It caught up eventually, and unless it was to master me, I had to face such feelings as fear, anger, envy, hatred¹², jealousy¹³, and excessive need for attention. When I realized I could not have done anything else except what I did, I was able to like myself more and be able to like others, not for what they could give me but for what I could give to them.

The Bible shows the way to easy, happy living in many of its pages. It advises, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” Those who expect the most are apt to receive the least. I had expected much and was filled with fury because nothing in the outside world relieved my emptiness and despair. Nothing did either, until I could face the anger and fury, the emptiness and despair, and slowly start to know such new feelings as compassion⁷, conviction, control, calm. I learned too of reason—that judicious¹⁴ combination of thought and feeling that enables me to take more responsibility for myself and others.

For me, there is much hard work ahead to achieve greater happiness. Yet, the very struggle I have put into achieving a measure of it, makes happiness that much more dear.

1 stifling   

a.令人窒息的

参考例句：

• The weather is stifling. It looks like rain. 今天太闷热，光景是要下雨。
• We were stifling in that hot room with all the windows closed. 我们在那间关着窗户的热屋子里，简直透不过气来。

2 passionate   

adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的

参考例句：

• He is said to be the most passionate man.据说他是最有激情的人。
• He is very passionate about the project.他对那个项目非常热心。

3 intensity   

n.强烈，剧烈；强度；烈度

参考例句：

• I didn't realize the intensity of people's feelings on this issue.我没有意识到这一问题能引起群情激奋。
• The strike is growing in intensity.罢工日益加剧。

4 immature   

adj.未成熟的，发育未全的，未充分发展的

参考例句：

• Tony seemed very shallow and immature.托尼看起来好像很肤浅，不夠成熟。
• The birds were in immature plumage.这些鸟儿羽翅未全。

5 queasiness   

n.恶心

参考例句：

• This medicine will counteract the queasiness caused by the antibiotics. 这种药会抑制抗生素引起的反胃。 来自辞典例句
• Perhaps his queasiness is just a sign's coming down with bird flu. 它确定不了，也许，感觉恶心只是得了禽流感的征兆。 来自互联网

6 exhausted   

adj.极其疲惫的，精疲力尽的

参考例句：

• It was a long haul home and we arrived exhausted.搬运回家的这段路程特别长，到家时我们已筋疲力尽。
• Jenny was exhausted by the hustle of city life.珍妮被城市生活的忙乱弄得筋疲力尽。

7 compassion   

n.同情，怜悯

参考例句：

• He could not help having compassion for the poor creature.他情不自禁地怜悯起那个可怜的人来。
• Her heart was filled with compassion for the motherless children.她对于没有母亲的孩子们充满了怜悯心。

8 compassionate   

adj.有同情心的，表示同情的

参考例句：

• She is a compassionate person.她是一个有同情心的人。
• The compassionate judge gave the young offender a light sentence.慈悲的法官从轻判处了那个年轻罪犯。

9 possessed   

adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的

参考例句：

• He flew out of the room like a man possessed.他像着了魔似地猛然冲出房门。
• He behaved like someone possessed.他行为举止像是魔怔了。

10 lesser   

adj.次要的，较小的；adv.较小地，较少地

参考例句：

• Kept some of the lesser players out.不让那些次要的球员参加联赛。
• She has also been affected,but to a lesser degree.她也受到波及，但程度较轻。

11 underneath   

adj.在...下面，在...底下；adv.在下面

参考例句：

• Working underneath the car is always a messy job.在汽车底下工作是件脏活。
• She wore a coat with a dress underneath.她穿着一件大衣，里面套着一条连衣裙。

12 hatred   

n.憎恶，憎恨，仇恨

参考例句：

• He looked at me with hatred in his eyes.他以憎恨的眼光望着我。
• The old man was seized with burning hatred for the fascists.老人对法西斯主义者充满了仇恨。

13 jealousy   

n.妒忌，嫉妒，猜忌

参考例句：

• Some women have a disposition to jealousy.有些女人生性爱妒忌。
• I can't support your jealousy any longer.我再也无法忍受你的嫉妒了。

14 judicious   

adj.明智的，明断的，能作出明智决定的

参考例句：

• We should listen to the judicious opinion of that old man.我们应该听取那位老人明智的意见。
• A judicious parent encourages his children to make their own decisions.贤明的父亲鼓励儿女自作抉择。