23 there are no mistakes,only lessons

There are no mistakes, only lessons

Human growth is a process of experimentation¹, trial, and error ultimately leading to wisdom. Each time you choose to trust yourself and take action, you can never quite be certaion how the situation will turn out. Sometimes you are victorious², and sometimes you become disillusioned³. The failed experiments, however, are no less valuable than the experiments that ultimately prove successful; in fact, you usually learn more from your perceived "failures" than you do from your perceived "success".

If you have made what you perceive to be a mistake or failed to live up to your own expectations, you will most likely put up a barrier between your essence and the part of you that is the alleged⁴ wrong-doer. However, perceiving past actions as mistakes implies guilt⁵ and blame, and it is not possible to learn anything meaning while you are engaged in blaming. Therefore, forgiveness is required when you are harshly judging yourself.

Forgiveness is the act of erasing⁶ an emotional debt. There are four kinds of forgiveness.

The first is beginner forgiveness for yourself.

The second of forgiveness is beginner forgiveness for another.

The third kind of forgiveness is advanced forgiveness of yourself. This is for serious transgressions⁷, the ones you carry with deep shame when you do soimething that violates your own values and ethics⁸, you create a chasm⁹ between your standards and your actual behavior. In such a case, you need to work very hard at forgiving youeself for these deeds so that yo call close this chasm and realign with the best part of yourself. This does not mean that you should rush to forgive yourselfor not feel regret or remorse¹⁰; but wallowing in these feelings for a protracted¹¹ period of time is not healthy, and punishing yourself excessively will only creats a bigger gap between you and your ethics.

The last and perhaps most difficult one is the advanced forgiveness of another. At some time of our life, you may have been severely¹² wronged or hurt by another person to such a degree that forgiveness seems impossible. However, harboring resentment¹³ and revenge fantasies only keeps you trapped in victim hood¹⁴. Under such a circumstance, you should force yourself to see the bigger picture, by so doing, you will be able to shift the focus away from the anger and resentment. It is only through forgiveness that you can erase¹⁵ wrongdoing and clean the memory. when you can finally release the situation, you may come to see it as a necessary part of your growth.

1 experimentation   

n.实验，试验，实验法

参考例句：

• Many people object to experimentation on animals.许多人反对用动物做实验。
• Study and analysis are likely to be far cheaper than experimentation.研究和分析的费用可能要比实验少得多。

2 victorious   

adj.胜利的，得胜的

参考例句：

• We are certain to be victorious.我们定会胜利。
• The victorious army returned in triumph.获胜的部队凯旋而归。

3 disillusioned   

a.不再抱幻想的，大失所望的，幻想破灭的

参考例句：

• I soon became disillusioned with the job. 我不久便对这个工作不再抱幻想了。
• Many people who are disillusioned in reality assimilate life to a dream. 许多对现实失望的人把人生比作一场梦。

4 alleged   

a.被指控的，嫌疑的

参考例句：

• It was alleged that he had taken bribes while in office. 他被指称在任时收受贿赂。
• alleged irregularities in the election campaign 被指称竞选运动中的不正当行为

5 guilt   

n.犯罪；内疚；过失，罪责

参考例句：

• She tried to cover up her guilt by lying.她企图用谎言掩饰自己的罪行。
• Don't lay a guilt trip on your child about schoolwork.别因为功课责备孩子而使他觉得很内疚。

6 erasing   

v.擦掉( erase的现在分词 )；抹去；清除

参考例句：

• He was like a sponge, erasing the past, soaking up the future. 他象一块海绵，挤出过去，吸进未来。 来自辞典例句
• Suddenly, fear overtook longing, erasing memories. 突然，恐惧淹没了渴望，泯灭了回忆。 来自辞典例句

7 transgressions   

n.违反，违法，罪过( transgression的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• Many marine transgressions occur across coastal plains. 许多海运是横越滨海平原。 来自辞典例句
• For I know my transgressions, and my sin always before me. 因为我知道我的过犯，我的罪常在我面前。 来自互联网

8 ethics   

n.伦理学；伦理观，道德标准

参考例句：

• The ethics of his profession don't permit him to do that.他的职业道德不允许他那样做。
• Personal ethics and professional ethics sometimes conflict.个人道德和职业道德有时会相互抵触。

9 chasm   

n.深坑，断层，裂口，大分岐，利害冲突

参考例句：

• There's a chasm between rich and poor in that society.那社会中存在着贫富差距。
• A huge chasm gaped before them.他们面前有个巨大的裂痕。

10 remorse   

n.痛恨，悔恨，自责

参考例句：

• She had no remorse about what she had said.她对所说的话不后悔。
• He has shown no remorse for his actions.他对自己的行为没有任何悔恨之意。

11 protracted   

adj.拖延的；延长的v.拖延“protract”的过去式和过去分词

参考例句：

• The war was protracted for four years. 战争拖延了四年。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• We won victory through protracted struggle. 经过长期的斗争，我们取得了胜利。 来自《简明英汉词典》

12 severely   

adv.严格地；严厉地；非常恶劣地

参考例句：

• He was severely criticized and removed from his post.他受到了严厉的批评并且被撤了职。
• He is severely put down for his careless work.他因工作上的粗心大意而受到了严厉的批评。

13 resentment   

n.怨愤，忿恨

参考例句：

• All her feelings of resentment just came pouring out.她一股脑儿倾吐出所有的怨恨。
• She cherished a deep resentment under the rose towards her employer.她暗中对她的雇主怀恨在心。

14 hood   

n.头巾，兜帽，覆盖；v.罩上，以头巾覆盖

参考例句：

• She is wearing a red cloak with a hood.她穿着一件红色带兜帽的披风。
• The car hood was dented in.汽车的发动机罩已凹了进去。

15 erase   

v.擦掉；消除某事物的痕迹

参考例句：

• He tried to erase the idea from his mind.他试图从头脑中抹掉这个想法。
• Please erase my name from the list.请把我的名字从名单上擦去。