密歇根新闻广播 感恩节餐桌上如何避免冲突

 

The holidays can be a happy time, but gathering¹ family members around the Thanksgiving table can also resurrect tensions and old resentments².

This year, people are reacting to the aftermath of the election. Some are jubilant, others are fearful or angry.

It's not hard to envision people eyeing each other suspiciously across the Thanksgiving turkey.

Psychiatrist³ Dr. Farha Abbasi joined us today to share some ideas for turning down the conflict.

"We definitely are all recovering from the … toxic⁴ demagoguery of the recent election," she said. "It almost feels like we have reaped this harvest of hate and we are inventors of our discontent."

To defuse tensions, Abbasi told us it's important to understand the nature of conflict.

She explained that conflict is always deeper than just a disagreement.

"It is very deep-seated. Both parties feel or perceive a threat to their wellbeing and survival," Abbasi said. "People tend to feel guarded, react emotionally … and invariably hurting each other more."

"Thanksgiving is seeped⁵ into the tradition of sharing and love and harmony, but I always feel that even a meal prepared with a lot of love or care can taste like sawdust if the ambience surrounding it is … angry."

According to Abbasi, the first step to enjoying a conflict-free Thanksgiving is to practice mindfulness.

"Mindfulness literally⁶ means being in the moment, focusing on the moment. Remember, everyone is there to share a meal and celebrate," she said. "To me, arguments are like salt. A little bit of salt is always tasty, which is like having a healthy debate about something, but an excessive and uncontrolled amount makes you more sick."

Abbasi told us it's important to acknowledge one's emotions, but warned us against impulsive⁷, knee-jerk responses, likening them to sugar and carbohydrates⁸.

"They feel sweet for a moment, but overindulgence can leave one with a lot of guilt⁹ and regret," she said.

Additionally, she told us that smiles and laughter should be shared generously.

If you should find yourself in an argument this Thanksgiving, Abbasi encouraged us to focus on the argument itself rather than the person you're having it with.

"You need to focus on the words, not the person. Make it about the discussion, not the person," she said.

"If you feel that things are getting out of hand, you need to step away from it and at least try and listen actively¹⁰ to what the other person is trying to bring, because I feel most of the time these arguments become heated because the other party is feeling completely invalidated or is feeling that their needs are not being met."

1 gathering   

n.集会，聚会，聚集

参考例句：

• He called on Mr. White to speak at the gathering.他请怀特先生在集会上讲话。
• He is on the wing gathering material for his novels.他正忙于为他的小说收集资料。

2 resentments   

（因受虐待而）愤恨，不满，怨恨( resentment的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• He could never transcend his resentments and his complexes. 他从来不能把他的怨恨和感情上的症结置之度外。
• These local resentments burst into open revolt. 地方性反感变成公开暴动。

3 psychiatrist   

n.精神病专家；精神病医师

参考例句：

• He went to a psychiatrist about his compulsive gambling.他去看精神科医生治疗不能自拔的赌瘾。
• The psychiatrist corrected him gently.精神病医师彬彬有礼地纠正他。

4 toxic   

adj.有毒的，因中毒引起的

参考例句：

• The factory had accidentally released a quantity of toxic waste into the sea.这家工厂意外泄漏大量有毒废物到海中。
• There is a risk that toxic chemicals might be blasted into the atmosphere.爆炸后有毒化学物质可能会进入大气层。

5 seeped   

v.（液体）渗( seep的过去式和过去分词 )；渗透；渗出；漏出

参考例句：

• The rain seeped through the roof. 雨水透过房顶渗透。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Icy air seeped in through the paper and the room became cold. 寒气透过了糊窗纸。屋里骤然冷起来。 来自汉英文学 - 家（1-26） - 家（1-26）

6 literally   

adv.照字面意义，逐字地；确实

参考例句：

• He translated the passage literally.他逐字逐句地翻译这段文字。
• Sometimes she would not sit down till she was literally faint.有时候，她不走到真正要昏厥了，决不肯坐下来。

7 impulsive   

adj.冲动的，刺激的；有推动力的

参考例句：

• She is impulsive in her actions.她的行为常出于冲动。
• He was neither an impulsive nor an emotional man,but a very honest and sincere one.他不是个一冲动就鲁莽行事的人，也不多愁善感.他为人十分正直、诚恳。

8 carbohydrates   

n.碳水化合物，糖类( carbohydrate的名词复数 )；淀粉质或糖类食物

参考例句：

• The plant uses the carbohydrates to make cellulose. 植物用碳水化合物制造纤维素。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• All carbohydrates originate from plants. 所有的碳水化合物均来自植物。 来自辞典例句

9 guilt   

n.犯罪；内疚；过失，罪责

参考例句：

• She tried to cover up her guilt by lying.她企图用谎言掩饰自己的罪行。
• Don't lay a guilt trip on your child about schoolwork.别因为功课责备孩子而使他觉得很内疚。

10 actively   

adv.积极地，勤奋地

参考例句：

• During this period all the students were actively participating.在这节课中所有的学生都积极参加。
• We are actively intervening to settle a quarrel.我们正在积极调解争执。