美国国家公共电台 NPR 'Deadspin' Columnist Outlines Hater's Guide To Williams-Sonoma Catalog

 

AUDIE CORNISH, HOST: 

Many of us look forward to flipping¹ through the Williams-Sonoma holiday catalog and the unbearably² festive³ kitchen delights it offers.

ARI SHAPIRO, HOST: 

Then there are those of us who look forward to scrolling⁴ through Drew Magary's yearly guide to those delights called "The Hater's Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog."

CORNISH: And Drew Magary is with us now. He's a writer for Deadspin and GQ. And Drew, I'm hoping you're going to help Ari and I actually pick out some gifts for each other.

DREW MAGARY: Yeah, sure. Why not?

SHAPIRO: All right, Audie and I have flipped⁵ through your "Hater's Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog" and chosen a couple things for each other.

MAGARY: Oh, cool.

SHAPIRO: Audie, you want to go first?

CORNISH: Yes. OK, so Drew, the thing I saw in the catalog that I thought would be good for Ari, who brings his coffee mug to the news meeting every morning, is the gingerbread folks mug toppers. Explain to our audience what that is.

MAGARY: All right, so you hang it over the edge of the cup. It's, like, a little - I don't know why they're called gingerbread folks when they're just men...

CORNISH: (Laughter).

MAGARY: ...Or I guess they could be ladies. I guess that's why they call it folks - right? - it would be problematic if they just - if they were just men. Anyway, you hang it on the lip of the mug, and that's supposed to be festive. But it's stupid because if I'm - if I pick up the coffee cup to drink my coffee, the thing's going to slide around and high five me in the face. So it doesn't make any sense.

CORNISH: (Laughter).

SHAPIRO: Also, is the steam from the coffee going to kind of soften⁶ up the gingerbread person's arm to the extent that he crumbles⁷ off the edge and...

CORNISH: It's supposed to be for dipping, people.

SHAPIRO: Oh, well...

CORNISH: Yeah (laughter).

MAGARY: The thing is, they sell these houses, too, that hang on the lip, and the houses are like the size of the lip of the mug.

SHAPIRO: Also, a house hanging on the lip of a mug sounds like some kind of California disaster movie...

(LAUGHTER)

SHAPIRO: ...Like, the start of an earthquake scene where the house goes tumbling - like, I don't want a house on a precipice⁸.

MAGARY: It is. It's "San Andreas 2." It's very...

SHAPIRO: Yeah.

CORNISH: (Laughter).

MAGARY: It's very inappropriate. It's not structurally⁹ sound.

CORNISH: All right, fine, smarty-pants, what did you choose for me?

SHAPIRO: Audie, I got you a corkscrew but not just any corkscrew.

CORNISH: Oh, boy.

SHAPIRO: This is an electric corkscrew with a digital display that will tell you the exact number of pulls left before it runs out of juice so that you never run out of juice.

CORNISH: Aw.

SHAPIRO: See what I did there? See what I did there?

MAGARY: Oh, look at that.

CORNISH: All right, Drew, so this one sounds very sweet. I mean how can you hate on a fancy corkscrew?

MAGARY: I don't like the electric corkscrews because they're expensive, and they take up too much room. And then if I'm opening wine, I want the - like, the old-fashioned corkscrew so I can be like an Italian waiter. So that's why - I want to look manly¹¹ pulling it out, like, (growling) - just sheer force of my huge guns pulling out the cork¹⁰. And the electric corkscrew doesn't let me do that. It does all the work for me, which just doesn't feel appropriate.

Then the charges thing is stupid, too, because it's, like, unless you're a sommelier who's, like, you know - watches the thing like a cellphone dying - oh, my God, I can't open the other dozen bottles of Beaujolais nouveau I have.

SHAPIRO: Also, I know we're not supposed to talk about how much money we spend on gifts for one another, but this corkscrew that I got for you, Audie, is a hundred dollars.

(LAUGHTER)

SHAPIRO: This is a $100 corkscrew.

MAGARY: Yeah.

CORNISH: All right, well, you know, I appreciate it. I appreciate you, Ari.

SHAPIRO: Thank you, Audie. I appreciate you, too.

CORNISH: Now, Drew Magary, I mean I think you sound like a major Grinch, frankly¹², and a lot of us like to...

MAGARY: (Laughter).

CORNISH: ...Decorate our homes for the holidays, maybe not...

SHAPIRO: Some of us like to eat gingerbread.

CORNISH: Maybe not from the Williams-Sonoma catalog - not that there's...

MAGARY: I do.

CORNISH: ...Anything wrong with that. But do you have a little bit of, like, a beef with just - with kind of Christmas consumerism I guess?

MAGARY: No, you know, I really don't. Like, I...

CORNISH: Like, what is it about this that's a personal affront¹³ to you?

MAGARY: I mean I always do it every year because some of the items are slightly ridiculous. And plus, frankly, like I'm a WASP¹⁴ myself. So, like, I know my people. And I know that at Christmas, it's nice to decorate, but, like, you know, sometimes moms go a little too far.

You know, there's that sort of Martha Stewart syndrome¹⁵ where it's - you're picking elaborate garlands and festooning a house and stuff like that. And it has to look very perfect when in real life, the holidays are a complete mess - right? Like, my kids throw up on the pillow, and it's just a train wreck¹⁶.

CORNISH: (Laughter).

MAGARY: And there's this sort of aspirational¹⁷ quality to it that I understand why they have it, but it's also a little, like - come on. It gets a little precious, and it's fun to make fun of.

SHAPIRO: That's Drew Magary, who writes "The Annual Hater's Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog." You can find it at Deadspin, where he's a columnist¹⁸. He's also the author of the novel "The Hike." Happy holidays.

MAGARY: Thanks, guys.

1 flipping   

讨厌之极的

参考例句：

• I hate this flipping hotel! 我讨厌这个该死的旅馆！
• Don't go flipping your lid. 别发火。

2 unbearably   

adv.不能忍受地，无法容忍地；慌

参考例句：

• It was unbearably hot in the car. 汽车里热得难以忍受。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• She found it unbearably painful to speak. 她发现开口说话痛苦得令人难以承受。 来自《简明英汉词典》

3 festive   

adj.欢宴的，节日的

参考例句：

• It was Christmas and everyone was in festive mood.当时是圣诞节，每个人都沉浸在节日的欢乐中。
• We all wore festive costumes to the ball.我们都穿着节日的盛装前去参加舞会。

4 scrolling   

n.卷[滚]动法，上下换行v.（电脑屏幕上）从上到下移动（资料等），卷页( scroll的现在分词 )；（似卷轴般）卷起；（像展开卷轴般地）将文字显示于屏幕

参考例句：

• Another important detail required by auto-scrolling is a time delay. 自动滚屏需要的另一个重要细节是时间延迟。 来自About Face 3交互设计精髓
• In 2D visualization and drawing applications, vertical and horizontal scrolling are common. 在二维的可视化及绘图应用中，垂直和水平滚动非常普遍。 来自About Face 3交互设计精髓

5 flipped   

轻弹( flip的过去式和过去分词 )； 按（开关）； 快速翻转； 急挥

参考例句：

• The plane flipped and crashed. 飞机猛地翻转，撞毁了。
• The carter flipped at the horse with his whip. 赶大车的人扬鞭朝着马轻轻地抽打。

6 soften   

v.(使)变柔软；(使)变柔和

参考例句：

• Plastics will soften when exposed to heat.塑料适当加热就可以软化。
• This special cream will help to soften up our skin.这种特殊的护肤霜有助于使皮肤变得柔软。

7 crumbles   

酥皮水果甜点( crumble的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• This cake crumbles too easily. 这种蛋糕太容易碎了。
• This bread crumbles ever so easily. 这种面包非常容易碎。

8 precipice   

n.悬崖，危急的处境

参考例句：

• The hut hung half over the edge of the precipice.那间小屋有一半悬在峭壁边上。
• A slight carelessness on this precipice could cost a man his life.在这悬崖上稍一疏忽就会使人丧生。

9 structurally   

在结构上

参考例句：

• The house roof was (structurally) unsound. 这屋顶（结构）不牢固。
• Pinhole on shot-hole damage is never structurally significant. 针孔和蛀洞所造成的危害对结构的影响不大。

10 cork   

n.软木，软木塞

参考例句：

• We heard the pop of a cork.我们听见瓶塞砰的一声打开。
• Cork is a very buoyant material.软木是极易浮起的材料。

11 manly   

adj.有男子气概的；adv.男子般地，果断地

参考例句：

• The boy walked with a confident manly stride.这男孩以自信的男人步伐行走。
• He set himself manly tasks and expected others to follow his example.他给自己定下了男子汉的任务，并希望别人效之。

12 frankly   

adv.坦白地，直率地；坦率地说

参考例句：

• To speak frankly, I don't like the idea at all.老实说，我一点也不赞成这个主意。
• Frankly speaking, I'm not opposed to reform.坦率地说，我不反对改革。

13 affront   

n./v.侮辱，触怒

参考例句：

• Your behaviour is an affront to public decency.你的行为有伤风化。
• This remark caused affront to many people.这句话得罪了不少人。

14 wasp   

n.黄蜂，蚂蜂

参考例句：

• A wasp stung me on the arm.黄蜂蜇了我的手臂。
• Through the glass we can see the wasp.透过玻璃我们可以看到黄蜂。

15 syndrome   

n.综合病症；并存特性

参考例句：

• The Institute says that an unidentified virus is to blame for the syndrome. 该研究所表示,引起这种综合症的是一种尚未确认的病毒。
• Results indicated that 11 fetuses had Down syndrome. 结果表明有11个胎儿患有唐氏综合征。

16 wreck   

n.失事，遇难；沉船；vt.(船等)失事，遇难

参考例句：

• Weather may have been a factor in the wreck.天气可能是造成这次失事的原因之一。
• No one can wreck the friendship between us.没有人能够破坏我们之间的友谊。

17 aspirational   

志同的，有抱负的

参考例句：

• Most of the images that bombard us all are aspirational. 轰击的图像，我们都期望最大。
• Analysts said self-help and aspirational reading could explain India's high figures. 分析师们指出，自助读书、热爱读书是印度人均读书时间超过别的国家的主要原因。

18 columnist   

n.专栏作家

参考例句：

• The host was interviewing a local columnist.节目主持人正在同一位当地的专栏作家交谈。
• She's a columnist for USA Today.她是《今日美国报》的专栏作家。