美国国家公共电台 NPR How To Apologize For Sexual Harassment (Hint: It Takes More Than 'Sorry')

 

ELISE HU, HOST:

There is now a long list of prominent men who face sexual misconduct claims and, with that, a long list of apologies. One of the latest came from the animation¹ chief of Pixar and Disney. John Lasseter's apology referenced unwanted hugs and other gestures that he admitted may have crossed a line. NPR's Neda Ulaby talked to an expert in the art of apologies about what makes a good one.

NEDA ULABY, BYLINE²: Harriet Lerner is a psychologist who wrote a book this year called "Why Won't You Apologize?" - very prescient. There's a reason she says why apologizing is so hard.

HARRIET LERNER: Humans are wired for defensiveness³.

ULABY: That's why it's difficult for people to take clear, direct responsibility for specific things without blaming other people or making excuses, Lerner says. And when it comes to public apologies for sexual harassment⁴...

LERNER: It's a performance. It's an act of self-protection, an attempt to do damage control to save one's reputation.

ULABY: But a good apology, she says, should make it clear the wrongdoer will carry some of the pain. For example, something like, I will be struggling perhaps forever because of the harm I've caused women who trusted me.

LERNER: And the other thing is that a good apology would not ask you as the harmed party to do anything - certainly not to forgive.

ULABY: That's what the former editor of the New Republic did in a statement, asking forgiveness from female colleagues for what he termed his offenses⁵. But in a good apology, Lerner says, nothing should be asked of the harmed party, nor does an apology mean the offender⁶ has earned anyone's forgiveness. Then there's this common rhetorical dodge⁷ that popped up in Dustin Hoffman's statement to a woman who claimed he'd harassed⁸ her when she was a teenager. Lerner quotes the actor saying...

LERNER: "I have the utmost respect for women, and I feel terrible for anything I might have done."

ULABY: Words like might and if and but cancel out real sincerity⁹, Lerner says. The head of Pixar, John Lasseter, weakened his apology by saying, quote, "I deeply apologize if I have let you down."

LERNER: These kind of obfuscating¹⁰, gaslighting apologies really are good lessons about how not to apologize.

(SOUNDBITE OF TV SHOW, "THE VIEW")

LEEANN TWEEDEN: It says (reading) dear Leeann, I want to apologize to you personally.

ULABY: Last Friday on the ABC show "The View," Leeann Tweeden read a good apology aloud. Senator Al Franken had harassed her by taking a demeaning photo.

(SOUNDBITE OF TV SHOW, "THE VIEW")

TWEEDEN: (Reading) I don't know what was in my head when I took that picture, but that doesn't matter. There's no excuse, and I understand why you could feel violated by that photo.

ULABY: In his apology, Franken validated¹¹ Tweeden's experience and her feelings. He said he was ashamed.

(SOUNDBITE OF TV SHOW, "THE VIEW")

TWEEDEN: (Reading) I am so sorry. Sincerely, Al Franken.

JOY BEHAR: Good letter.

TWEEDEN: Yeah, it's great.

ULABY: The words I'm sorry we're not part of Louis C.K.'s apology to the fellow female comedians¹² he'd harassed. That irked many critics but not psychologist Harriet Lerner.

LERNER: It's not the words I'm sorry that heal or soothe¹³ the harmed party.

ULABY: It's validating¹⁴ their experience.

LERNER: What the harmed party wants and needs to hear is an emotionally packed corroboration¹⁵ of the reality that occurred. Yes, I get it. It was terrible. It was unconscionable. Your feelings make sense.

ULABY: Good apologies are important, Lerner says, but they're not enough. Apologies do not excuse perpetrators from the consequences of their actions, and they do not compensate¹⁶ for a culture where women have less power and less privilege and too many men have things to be sorry for. Neda Ulaby, NPR News.

1 animation   

n.活泼，兴奋，卡通片／动画片的制作

参考例句：

• They are full of animation as they talked about their childhood.当他们谈及童年的往事时都非常兴奋。
• The animation of China made a great progress.中国的卡通片制作取得很大发展。

2 byline   

n.署名；v.署名

参考例句：

• His byline was absent as well.他的署名也不见了。
• We wish to thank the author of this article which carries no byline.我们要感谢这篇文章的那位没有署名的作者。

3 defensiveness   

防御性

参考例句：

• The fear of being sued for malpractice has magnified physicians' defensiveness. 担心因医疗事故而被起诉的恐惧加剧了医生们的防卫心理。
• This outbreak of defensiveness embodies one paradox and several myths. 排外行动的爆发，体现了一个矛盾和几个“神话”。

4 harassment   

n.骚扰，扰乱，烦恼，烦乱

参考例句：

• She often got telephone harassment at night these days.这些天她经常在夜晚受到电话骚扰。
• The company prohibits any form of harassment.公司禁止任何形式的骚扰行为。

5 offenses   

n.进攻( offense的名词复数 )；（球队的）前锋；进攻方法；攻势

参考例句：

• It's wrong of you to take the child to task for such trifling offenses. 因这类小毛病责备那孩子是你的不对。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Thus, Congress cannot remove an executive official except for impeachable offenses. 因此，除非有可弹劾的行为，否则国会不能罢免行政官员。 来自英汉非文学 - 行政法

6 offender   

n.冒犯者，违反者，犯罪者

参考例句：

• They all sued out a pardon for an offender.他们请求法院赦免一名罪犯。
• The authorities often know that sex offenders will attack again when they are released.当局一般都知道性犯罪者在获释后往往会再次犯案。

7 dodge   

v.闪开，躲开，避开；n.妙计，诡计

参考例句：

• A dodge behind a tree kept her from being run over.她向树后一闪，才没被车从身上辗过。
• The dodge was coopered by the police.诡计被警察粉碎了。

8 harassed   

adj. 疲倦的，厌烦的 动词harass的过去式和过去分词

参考例句：

• He has complained of being harassed by the police. 他投诉受到警方侵扰。
• harassed mothers with their children 带着孩子的疲惫不堪的母亲们

9 sincerity   

n.真诚，诚意；真实

参考例句：

• His sincerity added much more authority to the story.他的真诚更增加了故事的说服力。
• He tried hard to satisfy me of his sincerity.他竭力让我了解他的诚意。

10 obfuscating   

v.使模糊，使混乱( obfuscate的现在分词 )；使糊涂

参考例句：

• They are obfuscating the issue, as only insurance companies can. 他们在此问题上混淆视听，这事只有保险公司才做得出来。 来自辞典例句
• What sort of knucklehead uses a word like obfuscating? 什么样的笨蛋会用像抽象化这样的词？ 来自电影对白

11 validated   

v.证实( validate的过去式和过去分词 )；确证；使生效；使有法律效力

参考例句：

• Time validated our suspicion. 时间证实了我们的怀疑。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• The decade of history since 1927 had richly validated their thesis. 1927年以来的十年的历史，充分证明了他们的论点。 来自辞典例句

12 comedians   

n.喜剧演员，丑角( comedian的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• The voice was rich, lordly, Harvardish, like all the boring radio comedians'imitations. 声音浑厚、威严，俨然是哈佛出身的气派，就跟无线电里所有的滑稽演员叫人已经听腻的模仿完全一样。 来自辞典例句
• He distracted them by joking and imitating movie and radio comedians. 他用开玩笑的方法或者模仿电影及广播中的滑稽演员来对付他们。 来自辞典例句

13 soothe   

v.安慰；使平静；使减轻；缓和；奉承

参考例句：

• I've managed to soothe him down a bit.我想方设法使他平静了一点。
• This medicine should soothe your sore throat.这种药会减轻你的喉痛。

14 validating   

v.证实( validate的现在分词 )；确证；使生效；使有法律效力

参考例句：

• His politics at home were validating his efforts in the hemisphere. 他的国内政策也有效地支持了他对本半球所做的努力。 来自辞典例句
• A number of different experimental approaches have aided in validating the concept. 许多不同的实验方法，有助于确证这种概念。 来自辞典例句

15 corroboration   

n.进一步的证实，进一步的证据

参考例句：

• Without corroboration from forensic tests,it will be difficult to prove that the suspect is guilty. 没有法医化验的确证就很难证明嫌疑犯有罪。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Definitely more independent corroboration is necessary. 有必要更明确地进一步证实。 来自辞典例句

16 compensate   

vt.补偿，赔偿；酬报 vi.弥补；补偿；抵消

参考例句：

• She used her good looks to compensate her lack of intelligence. 她利用她漂亮的外表来弥补智力的不足。
• Nothing can compensate for the loss of one's health. 一个人失去了键康是不可弥补的。