PBS高端访谈:挥之不去的负面评论

AMNA NAWAZ: So, maybe you just had a performance review or shared something you wrote with a friend. It's likely that whatever feedback you received, the negative comments are what stuck with you. Esme Weijun Wang is an author, most recently of The Collected Schizophrenias. Tonight, she shares her Humble¹ Opinion on why we should make an effort to listen for something else.

阿姆纳·纳瓦兹：或许此时的你刚刚刚做完业绩评价或者刚与一位朋友分享了自己写的东西。很有可能的情况是：无论你收到什么反馈，其中的负面评论都会如影相随地跟着你。埃斯米是一名作家，她最近的一部作品叫做《精神分裂症群》。今晚，她将分享自己的看法，内容有关于我们为什么要认真地接受表扬。

ESME WEIJUN WANG, Author, The Collected Schizophrenias: When I was in the sixth grade, I was known for being an overachiever. For sport, one of my fellow classmates decided² to keep a piece of paper taped to her desk. On that sheet, she'd make a tally³ for every error I made in class. She'd call out, gleefully, drawing attention to whatever it was that I had done wrong. I became sensitive to my mistakes. That sheet of paper on her desk loomed⁴ like no accomplishment⁵ of mine ever did. To receive a compliment, in many cultures, is to demur⁶. We are taught, particularly if we are women, to brush off a kind word, lest our heads grow too large. And, too, we learn that to focus on our weaknesses means that we will improve, so that come time for company evaluations⁷, our focus is not on the seven pieces of praise, but on the single criticism. For years, I kept my own records of what I had done wrong, and forgot the compliments.

埃斯米，《精神分裂症群》作者：我上六年级的时候，大家都知道我成绩高。为了检验这一点，我的一位同学决定把一张纸贴在自己的桌子上。她会在这张纸上记录我在课堂上所犯的每一个错误。她每次都会开心地喊出声来，让大家都知道我做错了什么事情。于是，我开始变得敏感，不愿再犯错误。而她桌上的那张纸好像在说我一事无成。很多文化都认为，收到赞赏的时候要否认。世人都告诉我们，尤其是告诉我们女性，要杜绝善意的话，不然会变得膨胀。此外，我们的文化要求我们专注于自己需要改进的缺点，因此，在公司评价表现时，我们专注的不会是多达7条的赞扬，而是死盯着唯一的一条负面评价。多年来，我一直都有记录自己做错事的习惯，一直忘记了别人对我的赞扬。

I received thoughtful notes and e-mails, but never let them stick, that is, until a friend suggested that I begin to keep a folder⁸ of the kind words said to me. In went the best parts of my book reviews, the sweetest lines from people who love me. Now, years later, I have pages and pages of text messages and e-mails and tweets, because the world can be a brutal⁹ place. We can be unrelentingly hard to ourselves, and under such circumstances, it's a shame to not let the world's light stick to us when we have the chance. In my humble opinion, it is not enough to absentmindedly nod when someone says, for example, that the mix C.D. we made them kept them company in the winter of their bereavement¹⁰, or when your student tells you that they had never loved poetry before your English class. Write these things down. Keep a record. Stitch them together, and let them keep you warm.

我会收到贴心的便签和邮件，但我不会去管。这种情况一直持续着，直到有一天，一位朋友建议我把收到的表扬也放在文件夹里。我书评中最佳的部分是爱我的人们对我说的窝心话。如今，离开学校多年，我会保留短消息、邮件和推特消息，因为这个世界会有残酷的一面。我们要一直对自己严格一些，因为在这种情况下，但凡有机会，都要记录世界对我们温柔的一面。以我之拙见，别人赞扬我们时，我们不要毫无感情地点头。比如，别人说我们合成的CD在他们失去亲人的岁月里一直陪伴着他们。比如，你的学生跟你说他们上你的英文课，虽然他们不喜欢在课前读诗。把这些事情都写下来做个记录吧，这样串在一起会让我们感到温暖。

1 humble   

adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；v.降低，贬低

参考例句：

• In my humble opinion,he will win the election.依我拙见，他将在选举中获胜。
• Defeat and failure make people humble.挫折与失败会使人谦卑。

2 decided   

adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的

参考例句：

• This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
• There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。

3 tally   

n.计数器，记分，一致，测量；vt.计算，记录，使一致；vi.计算，记分，一致

参考例句：

• Don't forget to keep a careful tally of what you spend.别忘了仔细记下你的开支账目。
• The facts mentioned in the report tally to every detail.报告中所提到的事实都丝毫不差。

4 loomed   

v.隐约出现，阴森地逼近( loom的过去式和过去分词 )；隐约出现，阴森地逼近

参考例句：

• A dark shape loomed up ahead of us. 一个黑糊糊的影子隐隐出现在我们的前面。
• The prospect of war loomed large in everyone's mind. 战事将起的庞大阴影占据每个人的心。 来自《简明英汉词典》

5 accomplishment   

n.完成，成就，（pl.）造诣，技能

参考例句：

• The series of paintings is quite an accomplishment.这一系列的绘画真是了不起的成就。
• Money will be crucial to the accomplishment of our objectives.要实现我们的目标，钱是至关重要的。

6 demur   

v．表示异议，反对

参考例句：

• Without demur, they joined the party in my rooms. 他们没有推辞就到我的屋里一起聚餐了。
• He accepted the criticism without demur. 他毫无异议地接受了批评。

7 evaluations   

估价( evaluation的名词复数 )； 赋值； 估计价值； [医学]诊断

参考例句：

• In fact, our moral evaluations are merely expressions of our desires. 事实上，我们的道德评价只是我们欲望的表达形式。 来自哲学部分
• Properly speaking, however, these evaluations and insights are not within the concept of official notice. 但准确地讲，这些评估和深远见识并未包括在官方通知概念里。

8 folder   

n.纸夹，文件夹

参考例句：

• Peter returned the plan and charts to their folder.彼得把这份计划和表格放回文件夹中。
• He draws the document from its folder.他把文件从硬纸夹里抽出来。

9 brutal   

adj.残忍的，野蛮的，不讲理的

参考例句：

• She has to face the brutal reality.她不得不去面对冷酷的现实。
• They're brutal people behind their civilised veneer.他们表面上温文有礼，骨子里却是野蛮残忍。

10 bereavement   

n.亲人丧亡，丧失亲人，丧亲之痛

参考例句：

• the pain of an emotional crisis such as divorce or bereavement 诸如离婚或痛失亲人等情感危机的痛苦
• I sympathize with you in your bereavement. 我对你痛失亲人表示同情。 来自《简明英汉词典》