生活大爆炸 第九季:第2集 挽救婚姻的方法(下)

 Hello. I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper, and welcome to "Sheldon Cooper Presents: Fun With Flags." You may notice that I'm holding a remote control. 大家好，我是谢尔顿·库伯博士，欢迎收看谢尔顿·库珀出品的《有趣的旗帜》。你可能注意到我手上拿着遥控器

That's because my cameraperson and cohost, Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler, has chosen to end her relationship with me. 那是因为我的摄影师兼主持搭档艾米·法拉·福勒博士选择中止了与我之间的感情关系

I'm going to pause here to let that sink in. Okay. If you need to pause a little longer, just click the pause button. But the show must go on. 我先暂停一会，让你们消化一下，好了，如果你需要更多时间消化，请按下你的暂停键，但我的节目还得继续

And thankfully, all the things my girlfriend used to do can be taken care of with my right hand. 万幸的是，我前女友的一切功能，我的右手都可以取代

Anyway, let's not spend any more time talking about her. We're here to talk about flags. 好了，我们不要再提她了，我们节目的重点是旗帜

Tonight's theme: flags of countries that have been torn apart and the women I have a feeling were responsible. 今天的主题是国破人亡的国家国旗以及我认为该对此负责的红颜祸水们

You guys have any idea how much it costs to see a marriage counselor¹? $250 an hour. Why? 你们知道接受婚姻咨询需要多少钱吗？每小时250刀，怎么了

How do you know? Bernadette and I have occasionally gone to one to, you know, stay on top of things. 你怎么知道？博纳黛特和我偶尔会去参加一次，防范于未然嘛

And I'm just hearing about this now? 而我却是头一次听说这事

Dude, just because we're best friends doesn't mean that I have to tell you everything that goes on. 老弟，虽然我俩是好基友，但不代表我非得把所有事都告诉你吧

You don't have to, you should want to. 你不是非得要，而是应该主动想要

Oh, great, there's Mandy. Why are marine² biologists always so cute? 这下好了，曼蒂来了。海洋生物学家怎么都这么可爱

I don't know, but I'd like to get lost in her Bermuda Triangle. 我不知道，但我愿迷失在她的百慕大"三角洲"中

That's not helpful. Then I won't say I'd like to cover threequarters of her surface area. 你这话一点用都没有，那我就不告诉你，我还想覆盖她表面面积的四分之三了

Are we done? Not yet, this is fun. Ooh, I know. I'd let her free my willy. Where you going? 你们说完了吗？没，玩得正开心呢，有了，我想让她解放我的"杀人鲸"。你要去哪儿

I'm gonna ask her if she'd be willing to talk to Penny, tell her she has nothing to worry about. 我要去问她愿不愿意跟佩妮聊聊，告诉佩妮根本不用担心

Leonard, wait.  What? 莱纳德，等等，怎么了

I'd like to SpongeBob her SquarePants. Now we are done. 我还想用海绵洗她的小裤裤（海绵宝宝）。好了，我们说完了

Oh, hi, Leonard. What's up? Uh, do you mind if I sit? Sure. 莱纳德，你好吗？我能坐下吗？当然

So, um, I've been thinking a lot about you and me and... the boat. 那个，我一直在想我俩在船上的事

What about it? You know... what we did, when we were drunk. 怎么了？你知道...我们喝醉以后做的那些事

Oh, no, did I sleep with you, too? No, we just made out. 不会吧，我也跟你睡了吗？不，我们只是亲热了

Oh. Well, good for me. So what can I do for you? 老天保佑我啊，那你来找我干什么

Uh, okay, well, um, I got married recently. 好吧，我最近结婚了

Oh, congratulations! To Sheldon? 恭喜你，和谢尔顿吗

Never gets old. No, no, to a girl. 这个笑话永远都好笑。不，是和一个女孩

Anyway, I told her what happened between you and me, and she's concerned about us seeing each other at work. 总之，我告诉了她我俩的事，于是她担心我们上班时总见面会出事

It was just a kiss. Why would you even tell her? 不过是亲一下而已，你干嘛告诉她

Because I didn't want there to be any secrets between us. 因为我不想对她有所隐瞒

Is that really the reason? What else would it be? 真的是因为这原因吗？不然还能是什么

I don't know. Sounds like you're trying to sabotage³ the relationship. 我不知道，听起来像是你故意要破坏你们的感情

No, I don't think so. Although, Penny did say exactly that. 不，不是这样的，不过，佩妮也说了同样的话

Okay, well, that's something to think about. 那你可得好好思考一下了

You know, on some level, I've always believed that I don't deserve a woman like her. 在潜意识里，我总是觉得我配不上她这样的女人

Oh, you're gonna think about that right here? 你要在这里思考吗

I mean, she's really beautiful. She could have any guy she wants. 她真的超漂亮，各种帅哥她都能泡到手

Which is probably why it took her so many years to tell me she loved me. 所以花了好多年时间她才对我说她爱我

Maybe you should talk to a therapist about this. 这事你去找咨询师聊聊吧

Too expensive. You'd think I'd be used to women withholding⁴ their love. I mean, my mother did. 太贵了，我可能习惯了女人不对我表达爱意，我妈妈就是

I mean, no matter how hard I tried, she just didn't have any interest in me. Imagine that. 不管我有多努力，她就是对我不感兴趣。好惨哦

I wonder if that's why I have such a dysfunctional relationship with Sheldon. 我怀疑也许这就是为什么我会跟谢尔顿有这么不正常的关系

I had a dream the other night that I was in a cave and I was nursing a baby, but the baby had Sheldon's head on it. 某晚我做梦梦见我在一个山洞里哺育一个婴儿，但这个婴儿长着谢尔顿的脑袋

And your wife is worried about me? 而你妻子担心的人却是我吗

Hey, Leonard! When you're done, we came up with a bunch more. 莱纳德，你说完就过来，我们又想到了好多段子

Then the Czech Republic says to Slovakia, "I don't think you understand how being broken up works!"  Can you believe that? 然后捷克共和国对斯洛伐克说"看来你不太懂分手应该怎么样"，你能相信吗

You'd think that the Czech Republic would try to hold on to what it had, given that it's not as young as it used to be. 你以为捷克共和国会珍惜自己仅有的机会，毕竟它也不年轻了

And I don't see any other countries lining⁵ up to invade its southern borders. 而且我也没见过哪个国家在排队要侵略她"南线"（下边）的

I'm gonna kill him. But enough about the Czech Republic. 我要杀了他，捷克共和国就说到这里

Let's talk about the time Moldova made Romania a birthday cake and Romania said it tasted good even though it didn't. And yet Romania gets dumped. 我们再说说摩尔多瓦给罗马尼亚做了一个生日蛋糕，罗马尼亚说好吃，其实并不然，结果罗马尼亚却被甩了

I'll pause here while you mull that one over. I know, right? 我暂停一下等你理清楚，的确很扯对吧

So, you said you had something to tell me. 说吧，不是说有事跟我讲吗

Okay, yeah, um, do you remember when you accused me of trying to sabotage our wedding? 对，还记得你指责我故意破坏我们的婚礼吗

I've been thinking about it, and you might be right. But the good news is that I'm pretty sure I know why.I'm listening. 我也想了一下，也许你说得对。但好消息是我知道自己为啥这么做。洗耳恭听

Penny, after all these years, I still feel like maybe I don't deserve you. 佩妮，尽管过了这么多年我还觉得自己配不上你

Okay, that is the lamest⁶ excuse you could've possibly come up with. But I get it. 行了，这是你能胡扯的借口中最烂的一个了，但我理解

You do?  Yeah. Sometimes I worry you're gonna wake up and leave me for someone more like you. 是吗，是啊，有时我担心一觉醒来，你会为像你这样的女人弃我而去

I don't even understand why you're with someone like me. 我自己都不理解为什么你会跟我这种男人在一起

Why would I want to be with someone like me? 我为什么还要找个像我这样的女人呢

You know what I mean. And, you know, maybe the way I've been reacting was me sabotaging⁷ this, too. 你懂我的意思，也许我的某些反应也是在搞破坏

Well, how about we stop being so scared of losing each other and just be together? 不如我们不要害怕失去彼此而是要好好在一起

That sounds nice. Good. 这主意不错。好的

Because... I've loved you since the moment we met, and I will keep loving you until the end of time. 因为...自从见到你的那一刻，我便爱上了你，我会一辈子爱你，至死不渝

Oh, my God, that is the most beautiful thing anyone's ever said to me.  Yeah? 天啊，这是我听过最美的情话，是吗

That's because you're beautiful, and your beauty fills my heart with love and song. 那是因为你那么美，美到我心中满溢着爱与歌

It's getting kind of cheesy, Leonard. 越说越烂俗了哦，莱纳德

If you think that's cheesy, buckle⁸ up. Penny Hofstadter, will you please stay married to me? 还有更烂俗的呢，准备好了。佩妮·霍夫斯塔德，你愿意跟我维持婚姻吗

Oh, damn⁹ it, you topped it. 讨厌，你的烂俗再创新高峰了

Should we go to the bedroom and make this marriage official? 是不是该入洞房，把成亲最后一步给"办"了

Yes, please! Okay!  Okay. 好，拜托了，好的

Sheldon, I can't believe you got us a wedding gift. 谢尔顿，没想到你会送我们结婚礼物

I don't know why you're so surprised. I watch movies; I see what people do. 这有什么好惊讶的，我看电影，看得到别人怎么做

What is this? Plane tickets and hotel reservations for a weekend away in San Francisco. 这是什么？周末往返旧金山的机票以及酒店预订

That's so great! Yeah, there's Fisherman's Wharf¹⁰ and Alcatraz and cable cars. We're gonna have so much fun. 太棒了。没错，那里有渔人码头，恶魔岛还有缆车，我们肯定玩得超开心

We? Is there a problem? Oh, no, no! I just, I said, "Whee!" 我们？有问题吗？没有没有，我说的是"我们耶"

How dare you go on the Internet and say mean things about me and compare my genitalia to part of Czechoslovakia?! 你胆敢在网上说我坏话，还把我的生殖器比喻成捷克斯洛伐克南部

You saw through that one, did you? 你看完那集了，是吗

I don't know what you were thinking, but take the video down now! 我不知道你在想什么，但马上把视频撤了

She watched it. I'm gonna get that girl back. 她看了，我一定会把那妞追回来

I only watched it because you emailed it to me with the subject line: "This is gonna make you mad"! 我之所以会看，是因为你发邮件给我，主题是"看完气死你"

She was listening through the door. She wants me. 她在门外偷听，她想要奴家

 

1 counselor   

n.顾问，法律顾问

参考例句：

• The counselor gave us some disinterested advice.顾问给了我们一些无私的忠告。
• Chinese commercial counselor's office in foreign countries.中国驻国外商务参赞处。

2 marine   

adj.海的；海生的；航海的；海事的；n.水兵

参考例句：

• Marine creatures are those which live in the sea. 海洋生物是生存在海里的生物。
• When the war broke out,he volunteered for the Marine Corps.战争爆发时，他自愿参加了海军陆战队。

3 sabotage   

n.怠工，破坏活动，破坏；v.从事破坏活动，妨害，破坏

参考例句：

• They tried to sabotage my birthday party.他们企图破坏我的生日晚会。
• The fire at the factory was caused by sabotage.那家工厂的火灾是有人蓄意破坏引起的。

4 withholding   

扣缴税款

参考例句：

• She was accused of withholding information from the police. 她被指控对警方知情不报。
• The judge suspected the witness was withholding information. 法官怀疑见证人在隐瞒情况。

5 lining   

n.衬里，衬料

参考例句：

• The lining of my coat is torn.我的外套衬里破了。
• Moss makes an attractive lining to wire baskets.用苔藓垫在铁丝篮里很漂亮。

6 lamest   

瘸的( lame的最高级 )； 站不住脚的； 差劲的； 蹩脚的

参考例句：

• You can check out some of the lamest excuses ever used to dump. 你可以挑着看看那些曾被用来甩人的最蹩脚理由。

7 sabotaging   

阴谋破坏（某事物）( sabotage的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• Mr Smith fiercely denied any question of sabotaging the talks. 史密斯先生坚决拒绝任何企图阻挠谈话的提问。
• Failed in sabotaging APEC summit in Sydney of Australia. 澳大利亚悉尼APEC会议遭遇惨败。

8 buckle   

n.扣子，带扣；v.把...扣住，由于压力而弯曲

参考例句：

• The two ends buckle at the back.带子两端在背后扣起来。
• She found it hard to buckle down.她很难专心做一件事情。

9 damn   

int.该死，他妈的；vt.指责，贬斥，诅咒

参考例句：

• Damn this useless typewriter!这台破打字机真该死！
• I knew damn well what he was going to say.我非常清楚他要说什么。

10 wharf   

n.码头，停泊处

参考例句：

• We fetch up at the wharf exactly on time.我们准时到达码头。
• We reached the wharf gasping for breath.我们气喘吁吁地抵达了码头。