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Part 2. All you need is love?
Vocabulary. pre-industrial, propose, criterion.
You are going to hear a report on how people in different parts of the world choose their mates.
A1. Before listening, think about some of the qualities you would look for in a mate,
A2. As you listen, try to write down the three main criteria2 people usually maintain for choosing a mate.
Many people in western cultures choose their own wives and husbands.
In China and Japan before this century, upper-class marriages were arranged by the older males.
In many cultures in the Middle east, Asia and pre-industrial Europe, the man's family negotiated a "bride price" with woman's family.
The man's family was expected to pay it.
These customs are weakening.
For instance, only 9.2% of Japanese marriages are now arranged.
What are the criteria for choosing mates?
Most marriages whether arranged by families or occuring from personal attraction or love, are based on similar social backgrounds.
In other word, the man and the woman come from the same social class, or else a class that is only slightly higher or slightly lower.
Among many people in Egypt, key members of the man's family must go to the family of the woman and propose marriage.
These family members must be able to show that the man's family is at least of the same social class as the woman and that a certain amount of money exists to allow the marriage to go forward.
Having the same race or the same ethnic background is the second main criterion for marriage throught the world.
In the U.S where there are many different races, only 3% of all marriages are between blacks and whites, meaning the races are still largely separate in marriage.
In many countries, marriages is also based on the woman and man having the same religion.
This is a third common criterion for choosing a mate.
In cultures in which religions is a very strong value, marriages would often not take place if their religions differences.
A3. Listen again, answer the questions.
B. Keywords. physical appearance, fall in love, loving somebody.
Vocabulary. sustain, differentiate5, Barbara Cartland.
Listen to a dialogue that discusses personal and family relationships, complete the following main ideas expressed by the second speaker.
What do you think it is that attracts people to each other, that makes people want to be together?
I think that perhaps unfortunately in the initial stages, it's the physical appearance that attracts.
I think unless you find somebody attractive, unless there's something about them,
it could only perhaps be the way they smile or they laugh, or a twinkle in their eyes or the way a curl falls over their forehead.
But something like that has to make you interested enough to find out more about that person unless that's there I think you just don't bother.
So why do you say unfortunately?
Because in fact, it shouldn't be what somebody looks like that is important.
You should be able to look beyond the physical appearance and see what sort of a person he or she is, whether they're selfish or selfless, whether they are kind, caring.
But I think initially you're not bothered with that, that comes perhaps later.
In pop songs and magazines and newspapers and so on, the idea of falling in love is always emphasized, so people have this idea that you have to fall in love.
Do you think this is misleading for people? Do you think people expect is something that in fact doesn't exist?
Yes, I do. In fact we can probably lay the blame for the high percentage of divorces.
it's a third I think now, isn't it? I think one in three people get divorced.
Probably as far as I can see it, the reason is that they go into marriage or into a relationship with a very romantic view of love which I think has been created by the pop songs, by all the love stories, by the Barbara Cartland novels, etc that young people read.
Really, you meet someone, you fall in love, and that's it. it's the beginning, they live happily ever after.
And I think that's the problem, because people just expect that, and it's not like that.
So what is it, do you think, that really sustains a relationship, that keeps a relationship going?
Well, I think you have to differentiate between falling in love with somebody, which I see as more superficial, and loving somebody, which I see is a deeper emotion and one that perhaps lasts.
Falling in love is superficial attraction, being attracted to somebody physically7, having fun together.
Whereas loving somebody I think is an emotion that grows,
it comes with shared experiences, perhaps enjoying doing the same thing together, shared hobbies, shared interests, suffering together as well, going through the bad times, helping8 each other, supporting each other.
I think all that needs time to grow, and I'd call that love , and I think that's what makes a relationship last.
Now you are going to hear some views on men's "just right" wives, listen carefully, complete the summary.
For years, men and women have been getting married.
They promise to love and cherish each other until death do them part.
When a man and a woman get married, it's one of the biggest decisions they'll make in their life.
A man may select a woman because he, in his own eyes, sees her as the "just right" wife for him.
Every man has his own definition of what the "just right" wife is.
For instance, the millionaire man and the poor man both may define their "just right" wife according to have physical qualities.
A millionaire may describe his "just right" wife as charming, beautiful, sexy, intelligent and well-developed.
On the other hand, a poor man define his "just right" wife as pleasing, attractive, desirable, knowledgeable12 and shapely.
Both men describe their "just right" wife by the same physical qualities, but use different words.
Although some men define the "just right" wife by her physical qualities, other men describe their "just right" wife by her athletic qualities.
For example, the outdoors man may define his "just right" wife as a woman who loves to fish, to camp, to hunt and to water-ski.
Whereas the inside sportsman may define his "just right" wife as a woman who enjoys watching football, basketball, baseball and wrestling.
Both of these men define their "just right" wife by her sports qualities but in two different atmospheres.
Men from all nationalities also have their definition of the "just right" wife.
For example, the Italian man describes his woman as a woman who stands six feet one itch13 tall, with blonde hair and blue eyes, and who is well-developed in the upper portion of her body.
On the other hand, the French man may describe his ideal woman as a woman who stands only five feet three itches14, with brown hair and green eyes and who is moderately built.
Other nationalities, such as the German man and the Spanish man, may define their "just right" wife as a woman with style.
The German man may describe his "just right" wife as a woman who likes to drive expensive sports cars,
a woman who visits a different foreign country every month and wears only the most expensive designer clothing.
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ethnic
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| adj.人种的，种族的，异教徒的 | |
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criteria
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| n.标准 | |
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spouses
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| n.配偶，夫或妻( spouse的名词复数 ) | |
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groom
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| vt.给（马、狗等）梳毛，照料，使...整洁 | |
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differentiate
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| vi.(between)区分；vt.区别；使不同 | |
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initially
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| adv.最初，开始 | |
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physically
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| adj.物质上，体格上，身体上，按自然规律 | |
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helping
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| n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的，辅助的 | |
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athletic
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| adj.擅长运动的，强健的；活跃的，体格健壮的 | |
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vow
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| n.誓(言)，誓约；v.起誓，立誓 | |
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vows
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| 誓言( vow的名词复数 )； 郑重宣布，许愿 | |
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knowledgeable
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| adj.知识渊博的；有见识的 | |
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itch
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| n.痒，渴望，疥癣；vi.发痒，渴望 | |
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itches
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| n.痒( itch的名词复数 )；渴望，热望v.发痒( itch的第三人称单数 ) | |
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parities
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| 同等( parity的名词复数 )； 相等； 对等； 奇偶校验 | |
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jewelry
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| n.（jewllery）（总称）珠宝 | |
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