【时间旅行者的妻子】66

 I help myself to a doughnut. It’s a Bismarck, my favorite. The frosting is melting in the sun a little, and it sticks to my fingers.

 

　Clare finishes her doughnut, rolls up the cuffs¹ of her jeans and sits cross-legged. She scratches her neck and looks at me with annoyance². “Now you’re making me self-conscious. I feel like every time I blow my nose it’s a historic event.”

　“Well, it is.”

　She rolls her eyes. “What’s the opposite of determinism?”

　“Chaos³.”

 

 

　“Oh. I don’t think I like that. Do you like that?”

　I take a big bite out of the Bismarck and consider chaos. “Well, I do and I don’t. Chaos is more freedom; in fact, total freedom. But no meaning. I want to be free to act, and I also want my actions to mean something.”

 

 

　“But, Henry, you’re forgetting about God—why can’t there be a God who makes it mean something?” Clare frowns earnestly, and looks away across the Meadow as she speaks.

　I pop the last of the Bismarck into my mouth and chew slowly to gain time. Whenever Clare mentions God my palms start to sweat and I have an urge to hide or run or vanish.

　“I don’t know, Clare. I mean, to me things seem too random⁴ and meaningless for there to be a God.”

 

  Clare clasps her arms around her knees. “But you just said before that everything seems like it’s all planned out beforehand.”

　“Hpmf,” I say. I grab Clare’s ankles, pull her feet onto my lap, and hold on. Clare laughs, and leans back on her elbows. Clare’s feet are cold in my hands; they are very pink and very clean. “Okay,” I say, “let’s see. The choices we’re working with here are a block universe, where past, present and future all coexist simultaneously⁵ and everything has already happened; chaos, where anything can happen and nothing can be predicted because we can’t know all the variables; and a Christian⁶ universe in which God made everything and it’s all here for a purpose but we have free will anyway. Right?”

　Clare wiggles her toes at me. 

1 cuffs   

n.袖口( cuff的名词复数 )v.掌打，拳打( cuff的第三人称单数 )

参考例句：

• a collar and cuffs of white lace 带白色蕾丝花边的衣领和袖口
• The cuffs of his shirt were fraying. 他衬衣的袖口磨破了。

2 annoyance   

n.恼怒，生气，烦恼

参考例句：

• Why do you always take your annoyance out on me?为什么你不高兴时总是对我出气？
• I felt annoyance at being teased.我恼恨别人取笑我。

3 chaos   

n.混乱，无秩序

参考例句：

• After the failure of electricity supply the city was in chaos.停电后，城市一片混乱。
• The typhoon left chaos behind it.台风后一片混乱。

4 random   

adj.随机的；任意的；n.偶然的(或随便的)行动

参考例句：

• The list is arranged in a random order.名单排列不分先后。
• On random inspection the meat was found to be bad.经抽查，发现肉变质了。

5 simultaneously   

adv.同时发生地，同时进行地

参考例句：

• The radar beam can track a number of targets almost simultaneously.雷达波几乎可以同时追着多个目标。
• The Windows allow a computer user to execute multiple programs simultaneously.Windows允许计算机用户同时运行多个程序。

6 Christian   

adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒

参考例句：

• They always addressed each other by their Christian name.他们总是以教名互相称呼。
• His mother is a sincere Christian.他母亲是个虔诚的基督教徒。