词汇大师(Wordmaster)--Grammar Lady: Only One You

Broadcast on "Coast to Coast": August 29, 2002
Re-broadcast on VOA News Now: September 1, 2002

MUSIC: "Only You"/The Platters

AA: I'm Avi Arditti with Rosanne Skirble. This week on Wordmaster -- what to do when there's only one "you."

RS: We're talking about forms of address. Speakers of other languages may be used to having two ways to address someone -- one formal, the other informal. In Spanish, for instance, there's the formal "usted" and the casual "tu." But in English it's "you" and only "you."

AA: So, you may ask yourself, does that mean English speakers have no way to differentiate¹ between formal and informal situations? We asked this question to our friend Mary Newton Bruder, the linguist² better known as Grammar Lady.

BRUDER: "We do it by using people's names. So if we want to be very formal with somebody that we've just met, we use a title plus last name. So 'Dr. Snow' or 'Mrs. Jones' or 'Miss Scafe,' for example. But if we wanted to be less formal and we know the people better, then we use their first names. And the rules for calling people by their first names, generally the older person will suggest, 'Oh, please call me Joe -- don't call me Dr. Smith, call me Joe,' or something like that."

AA: OK, let's say you've just met a person. Rosanne had this question for Grammar Lady: What happens when it's a situation where it's not immediately clear how formal you should be?

RS: "The reason I'm asking is because we have a young man living with us this summer. He's from Atlanta, and he's a college student. And, he calls me 'ma'am.' And that's not really something I'm used to."

BRUDER: "And does he call your husband 'sir'?"

RS: "Uh-huh."

BRUDER: "OK, I think Southerners tend to be more formal. He'll probably have to be there quite a long time before he'll call you by your first name."

RS: "Is this generally a big problem for people coming in from other cultures because in their own languages they have these two levels."

BRUDER: "I think it is a problem because the rules are not necessarily explicit³, and people will not say to a non-English speaker, 'Don't call me Mary, call me Dr. Bruder,' for example. I would never say that. I would never correct someone even though I felt uncomfortable with the use of my first name."

AA: "And I guess one thing you never use as a form of address is to call someone 'mizz.' You never say that, 'Excuse me, mizz.' You'd say 'miss.'"

BRUDER: "And you wouldn't say 'missus' either."

RS: "Right."

BRUDER: "You would say 'miss' or 'ma'am.'"

AA: "So I suppose people, they've come over, they're meeting with a prospective⁴ employer or a prospective school, university, that they want to attend, your advice is to be formal, but if the other person, the person in authority, suggests that you loosen up, then you should."

BRUDER: "Then you should do that, yes."

AA: "But still refer to the person by last name, mister or miss or doctor or professor."

BRUDER: "Yes, unless specifically invited on more than one occasion, I would continue to use title, last name, continue to be formal for quite awhile."

RS: "Mary, I think it also has to do with how you feel, or how the person feels talking to you. I can tell someone not to call me 'ma'am' but I think they have to reach a certain comfort level before they're able to do that."

BRUDER: "That's right, because what happens if you ask them to do that before they're ready, what you get is avoidance. They don't call you anything."

AA: "What bugs⁵ me sometimes is when people use my name too much. It's usually salespeople⁶, where they keep using your name. So I guess when you're talking in a situation like a job interview or speaking with a professor, how do you know how often to use the name -- or is it just better to avoid it."

BRUDER: "Use it at the beginning and at the end. There's no real need to use it in-between time because you know you're speaking to the person. I think that's what bothers you, Avi, is that the person who's trying to sell you something is trying to capture your attention. But he already has your attention and it annoys you to have him keep repeating your name."

AA: "And also when store clerks read your name off your credit card and start calling you by that."

BRUDER: "Especially by your first name. That drives me crazy, too. (laughter)"

RS: If things like forms of address are driving you crazy, you might want to look by Grammar Lady Mary Newton Bruder called "Speaking Naturally: Communication Skills in American English." You can also visit her Web site at。。。。。。。。

AA: And that's Wordmaster for this week. With Rosanne Skirble, I'm Avi Arditti.

MUSIC: "Only You"/The Platters

 

1 differentiate   

vi.(between)区分；vt.区别；使不同

参考例句：

• You can differentiate between the houses by the shape of their chimneys.你可以凭借烟囱形状的不同来区分这两幢房子。
• He never learned to differentiate between good and evil.他从未学会分辨善恶。

2 linguist   

n.语言学家；精通数种外国语言者

参考例句：

• I used to be a linguist till I become a writer.过去我是个语言学家，后来成了作家。
• Professor Cui has a high reputation as a linguist.崔教授作为语言学家名声很高。

3 explicit   

adj.详述的，明确的；坦率的；显然的

参考例句：

• She was quite explicit about why she left.她对自己离去的原因直言不讳。
• He avoids the explicit answer to us.他避免给我们明确的回答。

4 prospective   

adj.预期的，未来的，前瞻性的

参考例句：

• The story should act as a warning to other prospective buyers.这篇报道应该对其他潜在的购买者起到警示作用。
• They have all these great activities for prospective freshmen.这会举办各种各样的活动来招待未来的新人。

5 bugs   

adj.疯狂的，发疯的n.窃听器( bug的名词复数 )；病菌；虫子；[计算机]（制作软件程序所产生的意料不到的）错误

参考例句：

• All programs have bugs and need endless refinement. 所有的程序都有漏洞，都需要不断改进。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The sacks of rice were swarming with bugs. 一袋袋的米里长满了虫子。 来自《简明英汉词典》

6 salespeople   

n.售货员，店员；售货员( salesperson的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• The shop usually employs additional salespeople for the Christmas toy trade. 这家商店通常雇一些临时售货员来做圣诞节玩具生意。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• Under our new system, salespeople sit down with each of our dealers. 根据新的制度，销售人员应逐个地同承销商洽商。 来自辞典例句