词汇大师-- How to Use Small Talk

　　AA: I'm Avi Arditti and this week on WORDMASTER: small talk. It's a topic we've discussed before, and some of you would like us to continue the conversation -- like Said, an English teacher in Egypt, and Thynn, a computer programmer from Burma, now here in the United States.
So joining us from Los Angeles is our friend, English teacher Nina Weinstein.

　　NINA WEINSTEIN: "OK, well maybe we should define¹ small talk first. It's the beginning of every conversation, even if you're talking with your good friends. In the American culture, people are very uncomfortable with silence.
"Small talk is supposed to be kind of superficial² conversation, and the reason it's superficial is because you either don't know the person and you're using small talk to get to know them better, or you're strangers and this is your whole conversation. And so we don't want emotional topics. This isn't the time to say 'So, how is your divorce going?'"
AA: "Right. I imagine that this would be especially daunting³ for someone who is learning English. It's not their native language and they're in a situation where they need to engage in conversation or small talk and maybe they're a little uncomfortable."
NINA WEINSTEIN: "Right. So maybe we should talk about some of the topics that they can use and some of the sentences that they can use ... "
AA: "Sure, sure, go ahead."
NINA WEINSTEIN: " ... for the small talk. So let's say that you're meeting at a building or you're meeting at a restaurant. You can say 'Was there a lot of traffic? Did you have any trouble finding the building?' You can say things like 'Beautiful day, isn't it?' Or 'I hope it doesn't rain again tomorrow.'
"And these aren't fascinating topics, but they begin to create a conversation for you. If it's almost the weekend, we can say 'Do you have any plans for the weekend?' Or if the weekend has already passed, you can say 'Did you have a nice weekend?' And based on their answer, you might find deeper topics or deeper conversation. So, again, this can be a kind of road or a bridge."
AA: "Now what about if you're on the other side -- let's say the prospective⁴ employer or someone interviewing you is the one who has opened with a line like that. What's a good response?"
NINA WEINSTEIN: "Well, if it's 'Beautiful day today, isn't it?' you can say 'Yes, it's gorgeous⁵. I love hot, sunny days.' I tell my students this is like playing tennis. When someone says 'Beautiful day today, isn't it?' they've hit the ball to you. You don't want to just say 'Yes,' because then the ball goes down the court and it's on the ground."
AA: "It just dribbles⁶ away."
NINA WEINSTEIN: "It dribbles away. So what you want to do is you want to give them something that they can create easy conversation with."
AA: "So now let's say you're in a situation where you're having a conversation, and you suddenly sense that maybe you've said something that has hurt the other person's feelings or you touched on a topic that maybe wasn't a good topic to talk about. Do you draw attention to that? Do you stop and apologize? Or do you say 'Mmm ... let's move on to another topic.'"
NINA WEINSTEIN: "My sense is to stop and apologize. If you really sense that you hurt the person's feelings or overstepped, you could kind of question whether you have by saying something like 'I hope I didn't offend you with that comment' or 'I didn't mean to offend you with that comment, I hope you're not offended.' And then it gives the other person a chance to respond and it makes you feel more comfortable and they can feel more comfortable."
AA: "And I'm curious, with your own experience with small talk, conversations with people you meet, strangers, business acquaintances, have you learned anything new in recent years about the art of doing this?"
NINA WEINSTEIN: "Actually I have, and I've written a set of materials about this that are really easy and they're on business-size cards, and I have my students stick these in their pocket. But I think the most important thing that I've learned is to be truly interested in the other person.
"I think if you're truly interested in the other person, they sense it. And everybody loves to talk about him or herself -- that's kind of a fact of life. And so if you're having trouble talking, if you gear⁷ the conversation or point the conversation in the direction of the person you are talking to, they will think you are great at making conversation, even though they've spent most of the time talking about themselves."
AA: English teacher and author Nina Weinstein. Her set of cards called "Business Entertaining Made a Lot Easier" is available through Amazon.com. And that's WORDMASTER for this week. You can learn more about small talk at voanews.com/wordmaster. And our e-mail address is [email protected]. I'm Avi Arditti.

1 define   

vt.解释，下定义，阐述，限定，规定

参考例句：

• Please define the words.请解释这些字的意义。
• It's hard to define exactly what has changed.很难解释清楚到底发生了什么变化。

2 superficial   

adj.肤浅的，浅薄的，表面的

参考例句：

• He has a superficial knowledge of this subject.他对这门学科略知皮毛。
• A superficial injury is not serious.表面的伤不太严重。

3 daunting   

adj.使人畏缩的

参考例句：

• They were faced with the daunting task of restoring the house.他们面临着修复房子的艰巨任务。
• Starting a new job can be a daunting prospect.开始一项新工作有时会让人望而却步。

4 prospective   

adj.预期的，未来的，前瞻性的

参考例句：

• The story should act as a warning to other prospective buyers.这篇报道应该对其他潜在的购买者起到警示作用。
• They have all these great activities for prospective freshmen.这会举办各种各样的活动来招待未来的新人。

5 gorgeous   

adj.华丽的，灿烂的，美丽的，宜人的，棒的

参考例句：

• The gorgeous costume added to the brilliance of the dance.华丽的服装使舞蹈更加光彩夺目。
• What a gorgeous day it is today!今天天气多好啊！

6 dribbles   

n.涓滴( dribble的名词复数 )；细滴；少量（液体）v.流口水( dribble的第三人称单数 )；（使液体）滴下或作细流；运球，带球

参考例句：

• That faucet dribbles badly. 那个水龙头漏水严重。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• Question: How do you make the dribbles like you always do them? 就像你经常做的，你怎么盘带？（估计也是个踢球的）。 来自互联网

7 gear   

n.齿轮，传动装置，设备，衣服；vt.使适应

参考例句：

• We have to gear our lives to the new changes.我们必须使自己的生活适应新的变化。
• The teeth of the wheel gear into each other.齿轮互相啮合。