新视野大学英语听说教程2 03a

Marriage Across Nations

Gail and I imagined a quiet wedding. During our two years together we had

experienced the usual ups and downs of a couple learning to know, understand, and

respect each other. But through it all we had honestly confronted the weaknesses

and strengths of each other's characters.

Our racial and cultural differences enhanced our relationship and taught us a great

deal about tolerance¹, compromise, and being open with each other. Gail sometimes

wondered why I and other blacks were so involved with the racial issue, and I was

surprised that she seemed to forget the subtler forms of racial hatred² in American

society.

Gail and I had no illusions about what the future held for us as a married, mixed

couple in America. The continual source of our strength was our mutual³ trust and

respect.

We wanted to avoid the mistake made by many couples of marrying for the wrong

reasons, and only finding out ten, twenty, or thirty years later that they were

incompatible⁴, that they hardly took the time to know each other, that they

overlooked serious personality conflicts in the expectation that marriage was an

automatic way to make everything work out right. That point was emphasized by the

fact that Gail's parents, after thirty-five years of marriage, were going through a

bitter and painful divorce, which had destroyed Gail and for a time had a negative

effect on our budding relationship.

When Gail spread the news of our wedding plans to her family she met with some

resistance. Her mother, Deborah, all along had been supportive of our relationship,

and even joked about when we were going to get married so she could have

grandchildren. Instead of congratulations upon hearing our news, Deborah counseled

Gail to be really sure she was doing the right thing.

"So it was all right for me to date him, but it's wrong for me to marry him. Is his

color the problem, Mom?" Gail subsequently told me she had asked her mother.

"To start with I must admit that at first I harbored reservations about a mixed

marriage, prejudices you might even call them. But when I met Mark I found him a

charming and intelligent young guy. Any mother would be proud to have him for a

son-in-law. So, color has nothing to do with it. Yes, my friends talk. Some even

express shock at what you are doing. But they live in a different world. So you

see, Mark's color is not the problem. My biggest worry is that you may be marrying

Mark for the same wrong reasons that I married your father. When we met I saw him

as my beloved, intelligent, charming, and caring. It was all so new, all so

exciting, and we both thought, on the surface at least, that ours was an ideal

marriage with every indication that it would last forever. I realized only later

that I didn't know my beloved, your father, very well when we married."

"But Mark and I have been together more than two years," Gail railed. "We've been

through so much together. We've seen each other at our worst many times. I'm sure

that time will only confirm what we feel deeply about each other."

"You may be right. But I still think that waiting won't hurt. You're only twenty-

five."

Gail's father, David, whom I had not yet met personally, approached our decision

with a father-knows-best attitude. He basically asked the same questions as Gail's

mother: "Why the haste? Who is this Mark? What's his citizenship⁵ status?" And when

he learned of my problems with the citizenship department, he immediately suspected

that I was marrying his daughter in order to remain in the United States.

"But Dad, that's harsh," Gail said.

"Then why the rush?" he asked repeatedly.

"Mark has had problems with citizenship before and has always taken care of them

himself," Gail defended. "In fact, he made it very clear when we were discussing

marriage that if I had any doubts about anything, I should not hesitate to cancel

our plans."

Her father proceeded to quote statistics showing that mixed couples had higher

divorce rates than couples of the same race and gave examples of mixed couples he

had counseled who were having marital⁶ difficulties.

"Have you thought about the hardships your children could go through?" he asked.

"Dad, are you a racist⁷?"

"No, of course not. But you have to be realistic."

"Maybe our children will have some problems, but whose children don't? But one

thing they'll always have: our love and devotion."

"That's idealistic. People can be very cruel toward children from mixed marriages."

"Dad, we'll worry about that when the time comes. If we had to resolve all doubt

before we acted, very little would ever get done."

"Remember, it's never too late to change your mind."

1 tolerance   

n.宽容；容忍，忍受；耐药力；公差

参考例句：

• Tolerance is one of his strengths.宽容是他的一个优点。
• Human beings have limited tolerance of noise.人类对噪音的忍耐力有限。

2 hatred   

n.憎恶，憎恨，仇恨

参考例句：

• He looked at me with hatred in his eyes.他以憎恨的眼光望着我。
• The old man was seized with burning hatred for the fascists.老人对法西斯主义者充满了仇恨。

3 mutual   

adj.相互的，彼此的；共同的，共有的

参考例句：

• We must pull together for mutual interest.我们必须为相互的利益而通力合作。
• Mutual interests tied us together.相互的利害关系把我们联系在一起。

4 incompatible   

adj.不相容的，不协调的，不相配的

参考例句：

• His plan is incompatible with my intent.他的计划与我的意图不相符。
• Speed and safety are not necessarily incompatible.速度和安全未必不相容。

5 citizenship   

n.市民权，公民权，国民的义务(身份)

参考例句：

• He was born in Sweden,but he doesn't have Swedish citizenship.他在瑞典出生，但没有瑞典公民身分。
• Ten years later,she chose to take Australian citizenship.十年后，她选择了澳大利亚国籍。

6 marital   

adj.婚姻的，夫妻的

参考例句：

• Her son had no marital problems.她的儿子没有婚姻问题。
• I regret getting involved with my daughter's marital problems;all its done is to bring trouble about my ears.我后悔干涉我女儿的婚姻问题, 现在我所做的一切将给我带来无穷的烦恼。

7 racist   

n.种族主义者，种族主义分子

参考例句：

• a series of racist attacks 一连串的种族袭击行为
• His speech presented racist ideas under the guise of nationalism. 他的讲话以民族主义为幌子宣扬种族主义思想。