豆知识 2010-10-17&10-23 在恋爱关系中保持自我

 Hi, I’m Donna Barnes. I’m a life and relationship coach, and owner of NY Dating Coach in New York City.

 

 

In this clip¹, we’re going to talk about how to maintain your power in a relationship. Because a big problem is that you’re really attractive who you are, that’s why you get together and then you become a different person once you get into the relationship. 

 

 

You got to keep maintaining what’s important to you, independence and things that you would do outside of the relationship. Don’t let your whole life become about the relationship. Keep your friends. Friends are really important to keep going, and don’t make everything about the other person. They’ll lose interest in you. Maintain being the person that you were when you first met them because that’s what they are attracted to. It doesn’t mean that intimacy² doesn’t deepen³ and you don’t get closer to each other, you do. But don’t give up yourself. You have to be a whole person and love yourself to be attractive to somebody else.No one else can really love you until you first love yourself. 

 

 

But the most important thing is that you don’t look to someone else for your happiness. You have to be happy on your own. They may make you happier. But your happiness has to come in from just you. 

1 clip   

n.夹子，别针，弹夹，片断；vt.夹住，修剪

参考例句：

• May I clip out the report on my performance?我能把报道我的文章剪下来吗？
• She fastened the papers together with a paper clip.她用曲别针把文件别在一起。

2 intimacy   

n.熟悉，亲密，密切关系，亲昵的言行

参考例句：

• His claims to an intimacy with the President are somewhat exaggerated.他声称自己与总统关系密切，这有点言过其实。
• I wish there were a rule book for intimacy.我希望能有个关于亲密的规则。

3 deepen   

vt./vi.加深，(使)变深，加重，加浓

参考例句：

• We'll have to deepen the well if we want more water.如果我们想要更多的水，就得把井加深。
• Her wrinkles deepen with age.她的皱纹随年龄增长而变深。