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散文:Your Key to a Better Life by Maxwell Maltz

时间:2009-03-28 06:03来源:互联网 提供网友:龙xing天下   字体: [ ]
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Do you want a better life? According to the author of the following article, the solution is easy. Simply change the way you look at yourself - and you will change the way you live. Improving your self-image is your key to living a better life.

Your Key to a Better Life by Maxwell Maltz

The most important psychological of this century is the discovery of the "self-image." Whether we realize it or not, each of us carries about with us a mental blueprint1 or picture of ourselves. It may be vague and ill-defined to our conscious gaze. In fact, it may not be consciously recognizable at all. But it is there, complete down to the last detail. This self-image is our own conception of the "sort of person I am." It has been built up from our own beliefs about ourselves. But most of these beliefs about ourselves have unconsciously been formed our past experiences, our successes and failures, our humiliations, our triumphs, and the way other people have reacted to us, especially in early childhood. From all these we mentally construct a "self," (or a picture of a self). Once an idea or a belief about ourselves goes into this picture it becomes "true", as far as we personally are concerned. We do not question its validity, but proceed to act upon it just as if it were true.

This self-image becomes a golden key to living a better life because of two important discoveries:

1. All your actions, feelings, behavior — even your abilities — are always consistent with this self-image.

In short, you will "act like" the sort of person you conceive yourself to be. Not only this, but you literally2 cannot act otherwise, in spite of all your conscious efforts or will power. The man who conceives himself to be a "failure type person" will find some way to fail, in spite of all his good intentions, or his will power, even if opportunity is literally dumped in his lap. The person who conceives himself to be a victim of injustice3, one "who was meant to suffer" will invariably find circumstances to verify his opinions.

The self-image is a "premise," a base, or a foundation upon which your entire personality, your behavior, and even your circumstances are built. Because of this our experiences seem to verify, and thereby4 strengthen our self-images, and a vicious or a beneficent cycle, as the case may be, is set up.

For example, a schoolboy who sees himself as an "F" type student, or one who is "dumb in mathematics," will invariably find that his report card bears him out. He then has "proof". A young girl who has an image of herself as the sort of person nobody likes, will find indeed that she is avoided at the school dance. She literally invites rejection5. Her woebegone expression, her hang-dog manner, her over-anxiousness to please, or perhaps her unconscious hostility7 towards those she anticipates will affront8 her — all act to drive away those whom she would attract. In the same manner, a salesman or a businessman will also find that his actual experiences tend to "prove" his self-image is correct.

Because of this objective "proof" it very seldom occurs to a person that his trouble lies in his self-image or his own evaluation9 of himself. Tell the schoolboy that he only "thinks" he cannot master algebra10, and he will doubt your sanity11. He has tried and tried, and still his report card tells the story. Tell the salesman that it is only an idea that he cannot earn more than a certain figure, and he can prove you wrong by his order book. He knows only too well how hard he has tried and failed. Yet, as we shall see later, almost miraculous12 changes have occurred both in grades of students, and in the earning capacity of salesmen — when they were prevailed upon to change their self-images.

2. The self-image can be changed. Numerous case histories have shown that one is never too young nor too old to change his self-image and thereby start to live a new life.

One of the reasons it has seemed so difficult for a person to change his habits, his personality, or his way of life, has been that heretofore nearly all efforts at change have been directed to the circumference13 of the self, so to speak, rather than to the center. Numerous patients have said to me something like the following: "If you are talking about 'positive thinking', I've tried that before, and it just doesn't work for me." However, a little questioning invariably brings out that these individuals have employed "positive thinking," or attempted to employ it, either upon particular external circumstances, or upon some particular habit or character defect ("I will get that job." " I will be more calm and relaxed in the future." "This business venture will turn out right for me," etc.) But they had never thought to change their thinking of the "self" which was to accomplish these things.

Jesus warned us about the folly14 of putting a patch of new material upon an old garment, or of putting new wine into old bottles. "Positive thinking" cannot be used effectively as a patch or a crutch15 to the same old self-image. In fact, it is literally impossible to really think positively16 about a particular situation, as long as you hold a negative concept of self. And, numerous experiments have shown that once the concept of self is changed, other things consistent with the new concept of self, are accomplished17 easily and without strain.

One of the earliest and most convincing experiments along this line was conducted by the late Prescott Lecky, one of the pioneers in self-image psychology18. Lecky conceived of the personality as a "system of ideas", all of which must seem to be consistent with each other. Ideas which are inconsistent with the system are rejected, "not believed," and not acted upon. Ideas which seem to be consistent with the system are accepted. At the very center of this system of ideas — the keystone — the base upon which all else is built, is the individual's "ego6 ideal," his "self-image," or his conception of himself. Lecky was a school teacher and had an opportunity to test his theory upon thousands of students.

Lecky theorized that if a student had trouble learning a certain subject, it could be because (from the student's point of view) it would be inconsistent for him to learn it. Lecky believed, however, that if you could change the student's self-conception, which underlies19 this viewpoint, his attitude toward the subject would change accordingly. If the student could be induced to change his selfdefinition, his learning ability should also change. This proved to be the case. One student who misspelled 55 words out of a hundred and flunked20 so many subjects that he lost credit for a year, made a general average of 91 the next year and became one of the best spellers in school. A boy who was dropped from one college because of poor grades, entered Columbia and became a straight "A" student. A girl who had flunked Latin four times, after three talks with the school counselor21, finished with a grade of 84. A boy who was told by a testing bureau that he had no aptitude22 for English, won honorable mention the next year for a literary prize.

The trouble with these students was not that they were dumb, or lacking in basic aptitudes23. The trouble was an inadequate24 self-image ("I don't have a mathematical mind"; "I'm just naturally a poor speller"). They "identified" with their mistakes and failures. Instead of saying "I failed that test" (factual and descriptive) they concluded "I am a failure." Instead of saying "I flunked that subject" they said "I am a failure." Instead of saying "I flunked that subject" they said "I am a flunk-out." For those who are interested in leaning more of Lecky's work, I recommend securing a copy of his book: self consistency25, a Theory of Personality. The Island Press, Now York, N.Y.


点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 blueprint 6Rky6     
n.蓝图,设计图,计划;vt.制成蓝图,计划
参考例句:
  • All the machine parts on a blueprint must answer each other.设计图上所有的机器部件都应互相配合。
  • The documents contain a blueprint for a nuclear device.文件内附有一张核装置的设计蓝图。
2 literally 28Wzv     
adv.照字面意义,逐字地;确实
参考例句:
  • He translated the passage literally.他逐字逐句地翻译这段文字。
  • Sometimes she would not sit down till she was literally faint.有时候,她不走到真正要昏厥了,决不肯坐下来。
3 injustice O45yL     
n.非正义,不公正,不公平,侵犯(别人的)权利
参考例句:
  • They complained of injustice in the way they had been treated.他们抱怨受到不公平的对待。
  • All his life he has been struggling against injustice.他一生都在与不公正现象作斗争。
4 thereby Sokwv     
adv.因此,从而
参考例句:
  • I have never been to that city,,ereby I don't know much about it.我从未去过那座城市,因此对它不怎么熟悉。
  • He became a British citizen,thereby gaining the right to vote.他成了英国公民,因而得到了投票权。
5 rejection FVpxp     
n.拒绝,被拒,抛弃,被弃
参考例句:
  • He decided not to approach her for fear of rejection.他因怕遭拒绝决定不再去找她。
  • The rejection plunged her into the dark depths of despair.遭到拒绝使她陷入了绝望的深渊。
6 ego 7jtzw     
n.自我,自己,自尊
参考例句:
  • He is absolute ego in all thing.在所有的事情上他都绝对自我。
  • She has been on an ego trip since she sang on television.她上电视台唱过歌之后就一直自吹自擂。
7 hostility hdyzQ     
n.敌对,敌意;抵制[pl.]交战,战争
参考例句:
  • There is open hostility between the two leaders.两位领导人表现出公开的敌意。
  • His hostility to your plan is well known.他对你的计划所持的敌意是众所周知的。
8 affront pKvy6     
n./v.侮辱,触怒
参考例句:
  • Your behaviour is an affront to public decency.你的行为有伤风化。
  • This remark caused affront to many people.这句话得罪了不少人。
9 evaluation onFxd     
n.估价,评价;赋值
参考例句:
  • I attempted an honest evaluation of my own life.我试图如实地评价我自己的一生。
  • The new scheme is still under evaluation.新方案还在评估阶段。
10 algebra MKRyW     
n.代数学
参考例句:
  • He was not good at algebra in middle school.他中学时不擅长代数。
  • The boy can't figure out the algebra problems.这个男孩做不出这道代数题。
11 sanity sCwzH     
n.心智健全,神智正常,判断正确
参考例句:
  • I doubt the sanity of such a plan.我怀疑这个计划是否明智。
  • She managed to keep her sanity throughout the ordeal.在那场磨难中她始终保持神志正常。
12 miraculous DDdxA     
adj.像奇迹一样的,不可思议的
参考例句:
  • The wounded man made a miraculous recovery.伤员奇迹般地痊愈了。
  • They won a miraculous victory over much stronger enemy.他们战胜了远比自己强大的敌人,赢得了非凡的胜利。
13 circumference HOszh     
n.圆周,周长,圆周线
参考例句:
  • It's a mile round the circumference of the field.运动场周长一英里。
  • The diameter and the circumference of a circle correlate.圆的直径与圆周有相互关系。
14 folly QgOzL     
n.愚笨,愚蠢,蠢事,蠢行,傻话
参考例句:
  • Learn wisdom by the folly of others.从别人的愚蠢行动中学到智慧。
  • Events proved the folly of such calculations.事情的进展证明了这种估计是愚蠢的。
15 crutch Lnvzt     
n.T字形拐杖;支持,依靠,精神支柱
参考例句:
  • Her religion was a crutch to her when John died.约翰死后,她在精神上依靠宗教信仰支撑住自己。
  • He uses his wife as a kind of crutch because of his lack of confidence.他缺乏自信心,总把妻子当作主心骨。
16 positively vPTxw     
adv.明确地,断然,坚决地;实在,确实
参考例句:
  • She was positively glowing with happiness.她满脸幸福。
  • The weather was positively poisonous.这天气着实讨厌。
17 accomplished UzwztZ     
adj.有才艺的;有造诣的;达到了的
参考例句:
  • Thanks to your help,we accomplished the task ahead of schedule.亏得你们帮忙,我们才提前完成了任务。
  • Removal of excess heat is accomplished by means of a radiator.通过散热器完成多余热量的排出。
18 psychology U0Wze     
n.心理,心理学,心理状态
参考例句:
  • She has a background in child psychology.她受过儿童心理学的教育。
  • He studied philosophy and psychology at Cambridge.他在剑桥大学学习哲学和心理学。
19 underlies d9c77c83f8c2ab289262fec743f08dd0     
v.位于或存在于(某物)之下( underlie的第三人称单数 );构成…的基础(或起因),引起
参考例句:
  • I think a lack of confidence underlies his manner. 我认为他表现出的态度是因为他缺乏信心。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • Try to figure out what feeling underlies your anger. 努力找出你的愤怒之下潜藏的情感。 来自辞典例句
20 flunked 22d4851a3e2958f8b24bdb0b15e15314     
v.( flunk的过去式和过去分词 );(使)(考试、某学科的成绩等)不及格;评定(某人)不及格;(因不及格而) 退学
参考例句:
  • I flunked math in second grade. 我二年级时数学不及格。
  • He flunked out (of college) last year. 他去年(从大学)退学了。 来自《简明英汉词典》
21 counselor czlxd     
n.顾问,法律顾问
参考例句:
  • The counselor gave us some disinterested advice.顾问给了我们一些无私的忠告。
  • Chinese commercial counselor's office in foreign countries.中国驻国外商务参赞处。
22 aptitude 0vPzn     
n.(学习方面的)才能,资质,天资
参考例句:
  • That student has an aptitude for mathematics.那个学生有数学方面的天赋。
  • As a child,he showed an aptitude for the piano.在孩提时代,他显露出对于钢琴的天赋。
23 aptitudes 3b3a4c3e0ed612a99fbae9ea380e8568     
(学习方面的)才能,资质,天资( aptitude的名词复数 )
参考例句:
  • They all require special aptitudes combined with special training. 他们都应具有专门技能,并受过专门训练。
  • Do program development with passion. has aptitudes for learning. research. innovation. 热爱程序开发工作。具有学习。钻研。创新的精神。
24 inadequate 2kzyk     
adj.(for,to)不充足的,不适当的
参考例句:
  • The supply is inadequate to meet the demand.供不应求。
  • She was inadequate to the demands that were made on her.她还无力满足对她提出的各项要求。
25 consistency IY2yT     
n.一贯性,前后一致,稳定性;(液体的)浓度
参考例句:
  • Your behaviour lacks consistency.你的行为缺乏一贯性。
  • We appreciate the consistency and stability in China and in Chinese politics.我们赞赏中国及其政策的连续性和稳定性。
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