《英语流行话题阅读:语境识词3500》Unit 23 “猫狗”政治论

　　Unit 23
The Cats and Dogs Theory of Politics
Politics looks complicated but it's actually very simple. As an ambitious leader you are looking for people to follow you, to be inspired by your ideas, and -- most important of all -- to love you. Think of your loving supporters as pets and everything will fall into place.
As F. Scott Fitzgerald once said, "Almost everybody can be imagined as either a cat or a dog." Dog-like supporters like to belong to packs. They appreciate a strong leader who can tell them who to bark at, who to slobber over, and who to chase and tear apart. To become the leader of the pack you need to understand dog politics. You need to convince your supporters that you are: One of them; and Willing and able to put down any rival. Dogs won't follow a leader who they suspect doesn't share their values and way of life.
You'll need to be tough and decisive. If you show signs of wanting to give up your leadership -- for example by consulting the pack or acknowledging that maybe non-pack members have a point -- then you're just asking to be attacked or dethroned. Real alphas know what's right by instinct. They don't have to ask and they don't have to think. Your doggie followers¹ will also need plenty of exercise. They need plenty of things to bark at, chase, and chew on so as to keep them occupied and out of trouble.
Cats are different. From a cat's point of view you are a servant. Cats are ambitious. However much food there is in their bowl, they always want more. Cats are status conscious. If any other cat has more food in its bowl, then any self-respecting cat will resent you for not intervening on its behalf. Cats are a bit conservative by nature, but will eventually move house if they think they can get a better deal.
Cats are convinced that they are smarter than you are. They are always quick to offer you policy advice. Cats don't like being yelled at. They expect to be reasoned with or bribed². Every cat has its own agenda and they expect to deal with you as an individual.  Cats like to be consulted -- it shows that you respect them.
The key to being a leader of cats is to appeal to their vanity and self interest. Always tell your cats how wonderful they are. If they start a campaign to save old forests then you should convert to environmentalism at once. Humor them when they bury their shit in an effort to convince you it doesn't stink³. And always make sure that their houses rise in value and that their interest rates are low. Under no circumstances should you bark at them.
While dogs need to believe that you are one of the pack, cats don't care how you live. A cat's mind their own business and will only bother you when they're bored or at election time when they'll hover⁴ around the refrigerator clawing at your legs. If food doesn't appear on demand a hungry cat is likely to go pleasing someone else. It's your choice.
So by now you're probably wondering whether you have to choose. Is it possible to have both cats and dogs? Yes. In fact, you can't win an election without keeping a few of both groups. Perhaps the best strategy is to keep your dogs happy with plenty of barking, chasing, and chewing while saving the big bribes⁵ for the cats.

1 followers   

追随者( follower的名词复数 )； 用户； 契据的附面； 从动件

参考例句：

• the followers of Mahatma Gandhi 圣雄甘地的拥护者
• The reformer soon gathered a band of followers round him. 改革者很快就获得一群追随者支持他。

2 bribed   

v.贿赂( bribe的过去式和过去分词 )；向（某人）行贿，贿赂

参考例句：

• They bribed him with costly presents. 他们用贵重的礼物贿赂他。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• He bribed himself onto the committee. 他暗通关节，钻营投机挤进了委员会。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

3 stink   

vi.发出恶臭；糟透，招人厌恶；n.恶臭

参考例句：

• The stink of the rotten fish turned my stomach.腐烂的鱼臭味使我恶心。
• The room has awful stink.那个房间散发着难闻的臭气。

4 hover   

vi.翱翔，盘旋；徘徊；彷徨，犹豫

参考例句：

• You don't hover round the table.你不要围着桌子走来走去。
• A plane is hover on our house.有一架飞机在我们的房子上盘旋。

5 bribes   

n.贿赂( bribe的名词复数 )；向（某人）行贿，贿赂v.贿赂( bribe的第三人称单数 )；向（某人）行贿，贿赂

参考例句：

• It was alleged that he had taken bribes while in office. 他被指称在任时收受贿赂。
• corrupt officials accepting bribes 接受贿赂的贪官污吏