The Man Who Loved Beans

    Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terriblepassion for baked beans. He loved them, but they alwayshad an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him.
    One day, he met a girl and fell in love.
    When it was apparent that they would marry, he thoughtto himself, "She'll never go through with the marriagewith me carrying on like this" so he made the supremesacrifice and gave up beans. Shortly after that they were married.
    A few months later, on the way home from work, his car broke down and since they lived in the country, he telephoned his wife and told her that he would be late because he had to walk.
    On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma¹ of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walk he thought he would walk off any ill effects before he got home. So he went in and ordered three extra large helpings² of beans.
    All the way home he farted. By the time he arrived homehe felt reasonably safe. His wife met him at the door andseemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, "Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!"She put a blindfold³ on him and led him to his chair at thehead of the table and made him promise not to peek⁴.
    At this point he was beginning to feel another fart coming on.
    Just as his wife was about to remove the blindfold,the phone rang. She again made him promise not to peek until she returned and went to answer the phone.
    While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg. He had a hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him.
    He had just started to feel better when another urge came on. He raised his leg andrriiipppp! It sounded like a diesel⁵ engine revving⁶ and smelled worse. To keep himself from gagging, he tried fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell would dissipate.
    Things had just about returned to normal when he felt another urge coming. He shifted his weight to his other leg and let go. This was a real blue ribbon winner; the windows shook, the dishes on the table rattled⁷ and a minute later the flowers on the table were dead.
    While keeping an ear tuned⁸ in on the conversation in the hallway, and keeping his promise of staying blindfolded⁹, he carried on like this for the next 10 minutes, farting and then fanning each time with his napkin. When he heard the phone farewells (indicating the end of his loneliness and freedom) he neatly¹⁰ laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it.
    Smiling contentedly¹¹, he was the picture of innocence¹² whenhis wife walked in. Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked¹³ at the dinner table. After assuringher he had not peeked, she removed the blindfold and yelled,  "SURPRISE!"  To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party.

1 aroma   

n.香气，芬芳，芳香

参考例句：

• The whole house was filled with the aroma of coffee.满屋子都是咖啡的香味。
• The air was heavy with the aroma of the paddy fields.稻花飘香。

2 helpings   

n.（食物）的一份( helping的名词复数 )；帮助，支持

参考例句：

• You greedy pig! You've already had two helpings! 你这个馋嘴！你已经吃了两份了！
• He had two helpings of pudding. 他吃了两客布丁。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

3 blindfold   

vt.蒙住…的眼睛；adj.盲目的；adv.盲目地；n.蒙眼的绷带[布等]； 障眼物，蒙蔽人的事物

参考例句：

• They put a blindfold on a horse.他们给马蒙上遮眼布。
• I can do it blindfold.我闭着眼睛都能做。

4 peek   

vi.偷看，窥视；n.偷偷的一看，一瞥

参考例句：

• Larry takes a peek out of the window.赖瑞往窗外偷看了一下。
• Cover your eyes and don't peek.捂上眼睛，别偷看。

5 diesel   

n.柴油发动机，内燃机

参考例句：

• We experimented with diesel engines to drive the pumps.我们试着用柴油机来带动水泵。
• My tractor operates on diesel oil.我的那台拖拉机用柴油开动。

6 revving   

v.（使）加速( rev的现在分词 )；（数量、活动等）激增；（使发动机）快速旋转；（使）活跃起来

参考例句：

• The team are revving up for next week's game. 这个队伍对下周的比赛跃跃欲试。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Since the introduction of new techniques, the production has been revving up. 自从新技术的引进，产量一直都在增加。 来自互联网

7 rattled   

慌乱的，恼火的

参考例句：

• The truck jolted and rattled over the rough ground. 卡车嘎吱嘎吱地在凹凸不平的地面上颠簸而行。
• Every time a bus went past, the windows rattled. 每逢公共汽车经过这里，窗户都格格作响。

8 tuned   

adj.调谐的，已调谐的v.调音( tune的过去式和过去分词 )；调整；（给收音机、电视等）调谐；使协调

参考例句：

• The resort is tuned in to the tastes of young and old alike. 这个度假胜地适合各种口味，老少皆宜。
• The instruments should be tuned up before each performance. 每次演出开始前都应将乐器调好音。 来自《简明英汉词典》

9 blindfolded   

v.（尤指用布）挡住（某人）的视线( blindfold的过去式 )；蒙住（某人）的眼睛；使不理解；蒙骗

参考例句：

• The hostages were tied up and blindfolded. 人质被捆绑起来并蒙上了眼睛。
• They were each blindfolded with big red handkerchiefs. 他们每个人的眼睛都被一块红色大手巾蒙住了。 来自《简明英汉词典》

10 neatly   

adv.整洁地，干净地，灵巧地，熟练地

参考例句：

• Sailors know how to wind up a long rope neatly.水手们知道怎样把一条大绳利落地缠好。
• The child's dress is neatly gathered at the neck.那孩子的衣服在领口处打着整齐的皱褶。

11 contentedly   

adv.心满意足地

参考例句：

• My father sat puffing contentedly on his pipe.父亲坐着心满意足地抽着烟斗。
• "This is brother John's writing,"said Sally,contentedly,as she opened the letter.

12 innocence   

n.无罪；天真；无害

参考例句：

• There was a touching air of innocence about the boy.这个男孩有一种令人感动的天真神情。
• The accused man proved his innocence of the crime.被告人经证实无罪。

13 peeked   

v.很快地看( peek的过去式和过去分词 )；偷看；窥视；微露出

参考例句：

• She peeked over the top of her menu. 她从菜单上往外偷看。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• On two occasions she had peeked at him through a crack in the wall. 她曾两次透过墙缝窥视他。 来自辞典例句