Friends

 

    Sam and John were out cutting wood when John cut his arm off. Sam remained calm, wrapped the arm in a plastic bag, and took the arm and John to a surgeon.
    "You are in luck," said the surgeon. "I am an expert in re-attaching limbs. Come back in four hours when I have completed the operation."So Sam returned in four hours and the surgeon said, "I did it faster than I expected. Jon is down at the pub."Sam rushed down to the pub and was amazed to see John playing darts(飞镖）.
    A few weeks later, Sam and John were cutting wood again when John accidentally cut off his leg. Sam put the leg in a plastic bag and took it and John back to the same surgeon.
    "Legs are harder," said the surgeon, "but I'll see what I can do - come back in six hours."Sam returned in six hours and the surgeon said, "I finished early - John's playing football." Sam went to the field and to his surprise found John kicking 50 meter torpedoes¹.
    A few weeks later, Sam and John were cutting wood again, when John accidentally cut off his own head. Sam put the head in a plastic bag and took it and the rest of John to the surgeon, confident that the skillful surgeon would do the job.
    "Gee², heads are really difficult to re-attach," the surgeon muttered, "but I'll see what I can do - come back in 12 hours."Sam returned in 12 hours. "How did it go, Doc?" he asked. "I'm sorry. John died," the surgeon replied.
    He suffocated³ in the plastic bag, you idiot!!".

1 torpedoes   

鱼雷( torpedo的名词复数 )； 油井爆破筒； 刺客； 掼炮

参考例句：

• We top off, take on provisions and torpedoes, and go. 我们维修完，装上给养和鱼雷就出发。
• The torpedoes hit amidship, and there followed a series of crashing explosions. 鱼雷击中了船腹，引起了一阵隆隆的爆炸声。

2 gee   

n.马；int.向右！前进！，惊讶时所发声音；v.向右转

参考例句：

• Their success last week will gee the team up.上星期的胜利将激励这支队伍继续前进。
• Gee,We're going to make a lot of money.哇！我们会赚好多钱啦！

3 suffocated   

（使某人）窒息而死( suffocate的过去式和过去分词 )； （将某人）闷死； 让人感觉闷热； 憋气

参考例句：

• Many dogs have suffocated in hot cars. 许多狗在热烘烘的汽车里给闷死了。
• I nearly suffocated when the pipe of my breathing apparatus came adrift. 呼吸器上的管子脱落时，我差点给憋死。