幽默笑话：报丧方式

 Ways to Report Death 

　　Two brothers, Herbert and James, lived with their mother and a cat named Edgar. James was particularly attached to the cat, and when he had to leave town for several days, he left Herbert meticulous¹ instructions about the pet' s care. At the end of this first day away. James telephoned his brother. "How is Edgar?" 

　　"Edgar is dead." Herbert answered. There was a pause. Then James said, "Herbert, you're insensitive, you know how close I was to Edgar -you should have broken the news to me slowly. When I asked about Edgar tonight, you should have said, 'Edgar's on the roof , but I have called the fire department to get him down.' And tomorrow when I called, you could have said the firemen were having trouble getting Edgar down, but you were hopeful they would succeed. Then when I called the third time, you could have told me that the fire-men have done their best, but unfortunately Edgar had fallen off the roof and was at the veterinarian's. Then when I called the last time, you could have said that although everything possible had been done for Edgar, he had died. That's the way a sensitive man would have told me about Edgar. And, oh, before I forget," James added, "how is mother?" 

　　"Oh," Herbert said, pausing for a moment, "She' s on the roof." 

　　报丧方式 

　　郝伯特和詹姆斯兄弟二人一起生活，家中有一老母并养了一只猫叫埃德格。詹姆斯特别喜欢这只猫。有一次他要外出几天，临行前不厌其烦地嘱咐郝伯特照顾好这只宠物。出门后的头一天晚上，他打来电话询问：“埃德格好吗？” 

　　“它死了，”郝伯格回答。一阵沉默之后，詹姆斯说：“郝伯特，你真没心没肺，你知道我多么喜欢埃德格----你应该把这个消息慢慢地告诉我。当我问起埃德格今晚怎样时，你应该说，‘埃德格爬上了屋顶，我已给消防队打了电话，让他们把它救下来。’我明天又给你打电话时，你应该说消防队营救埃德格遇到了困难，但你相信他们会成功。在我第三天给你打电话时，你可以说消防队员已尽了最大努力，但很不幸，埃德格从屋顶上掉了下来，被送到兽医那里。在我最后一次给你打电话询问，你可以说尽管对埃德格做了一切所能做的努力，它还是死了。这是一个富有感情的人告诉我埃德格的消息时所用的方式。哦，趁我没忘记还有件事顺便问一下，”詹姆斯补充道，“母亲好吗？” 

　　“哦……”一阵沉默后郝伯特答道，“她上了屋顶。”

1 meticulous   

adj.极其仔细的，一丝不苟的

参考例句：

• We'll have to handle the matter with meticulous care.这事一点不能含糊。
• She is meticulous in her presentation of facts.她介绍事实十分详细。