你长大了吗？判断人真正成熟的20种表现

 　　How can one classify a true adult? Many people directly attribute age to adulthood¹. The problem with this methodology becomes evident when you discuss the topic with various people of different cultural backgrounds. If you ask each of them what age they believe constitutes the point at which a person progresses from childhood into adulthood, their answers will always be different. Why? Because every one of the answers are based on subjective² opinion. Adulthood is not based age; it’s based strictly³ on emotional maturity⁴.

　　怎样定义一个真正的成年人？很多人会直接把成年和年龄相挂钩。当你和有着不同文化背景的人来讨论这个话题的时候，你会发现这种分类方式是有明显错误的。当你问其中的每一个人，一个未成年的人到成年人的转折点是几岁，他们的回答总是不同的。为什么？因为他们的回答都是基于自己主观的看法。成年的界定并不是看年龄，而是看心智的成熟。

　　So what constitutes emotional maturity, and thus adulthood? Here are 20 defining characteristics of a true adult:

　　那什么是心智的成熟呢？怎样才能成年呢？下面是20条成年人心智成熟的表现：

　　1. Realizing that maturity is an ongoing⁵ process, not a state, and continuously striving for self improvement.

　　意识到成熟是一个不断进行的过程，而不是一种状态，要不断提升自己。

　　2. Able to manage personal jealousy⁶ and feelings of envy.

　　有能力处理好个人的猜忌和嫉妒情绪。

　　3. Has the ability to listen to and evaluate the viewpoints of others.

　　能做好倾听和反思他人的看法。

　　4. Maintains patience and flexibility⁷ on a daily basis.

　　每天都能保持耐心和灵活处事的能力。

　　5. Accepts the fact that you can’t always win, and learns from mistakes instead of whining⁸ about the outcome.

　　接受你并不一直都是赢家的事实，能从错误中吸取教训，而不是发牢骚。

　　6. Does not overanalyze negative points, but instead looks for the positive points in the subject being analyzed⁹.

　　不会钻牛角尖过度悲观，能看到事物积极的一面。

　　7. Is able to differentiate¹⁰ between rational decision making and emotional impulse.

　　能区分理智决定和情感冲动之间的不同。

　　8. Understands that no skill or talent can overshadow the act of preparation.

　　知道机会总是给予那些做好充分准备的人。

　　9. Capable of managing temper and anger.

　　能够处理好自己的脾气和愤怒。

　　10. Keeps other people’s feeling in mind and limits selfishness.

　　能考虑到他人的感受，让自己尽力不要太自私。

　　11. Being able to distinguish between ‘needs’ and ‘wants’.

　　能区分“需要”和“想要”的不同。

　　12. Shows confidence without being overly arrogant¹¹.

　　有充足的自信而又不会让人觉得傲慢。

　　13. Handles pressure with self composure.

　　能够沉着地应对压力。

　　14. Takes ownership and responsibility of personal actions.

　　能独立自立，也能对自己的事情负责。

　　15. Manages personal fears.

　　有能力克服自己的恐惧感。

　　16. Able to see the various shades of grey between the extremes of black and white in every situation.

　　能在绝对的“黑”与“白”之间看到事物的多面性。

　　17. Accepts negative feedback as a tool for self improvement.

　　勇于接受负面的反馈来促进自我提升。

　　18. Aware of personal insecurities and self-esteem.

　　理解个人的不安全感和自尊心。

　　19. Able to separate true love from transitory infatuation.

　　能区分什么是真爱，什么是转瞬即逝的迷恋。

　　20. Understanding that open communication is the key to progression.

　　明白开放式的交流才是取得提升的关键。

　　Above all, true adults do what they have to do when it is required of them, and they do what they want when they can. They are able to distinguish between the two and manage their time and efforts accordingly.

　　综上所述，真正的成年人会在责任到来之时按照要求去做，也知道什么时候才能做他们想做的事。而且他们能区分什么是该做的事，什么是想做的事，也会合理地来安排他们的时间和精力。

 

1 adulthood   

n.成年，成人期

参考例句：

• Some infantile actions survive into adulthood.某些婴儿期的行为一直保持到成年期。
• Few people nowadays are able to maintain friendships into adulthood.如今很少有人能将友谊维持到成年。

2 subjective   

a.主观(上)的，个人的

参考例句：

• The way they interpreted their past was highly subjective. 他们解释其过去的方式太主观。
• A literary critic should not be too subjective in his approach. 文学评论家的看法不应太主观。

3 strictly   

adv.严厉地，严格地；严密地

参考例句：

• His doctor is dieting him strictly.他的医生严格规定他的饮食。
• The guests were seated strictly in order of precedence.客人严格按照地位高低就座。

4 maturity   

n.成熟；完成；(支票、债券等)到期

参考例句：

• These plants ought to reach maturity after five years.这些植物五年后就该长成了。
• This is the period at which the body attains maturity.这是身体发育成熟的时期。

5 ongoing   

adj.进行中的，前进的

参考例句：

• The problem is ongoing.这个问题尚未解决。
• The issues raised in the report relate directly to Age Concern's ongoing work in this area.报告中提出的问题与“关心老人”组织在这方面正在做的工作有直接的关系。

6 jealousy   

n.妒忌，嫉妒，猜忌

参考例句：

• Some women have a disposition to jealousy.有些女人生性爱妒忌。
• I can't support your jealousy any longer.我再也无法忍受你的嫉妒了。

7 flexibility   

n.柔韧性，弹性，（光的）折射性，灵活性

参考例句：

• Her great strength lies in her flexibility.她的优势在于她灵活变通。
• The flexibility of a man's muscles will lessen as he becomes old.人老了肌肉的柔韧性将降低。

8 whining   

n. 抱怨，牢骚 v. 哭诉，发牢骚

参考例句：

• That's the way with you whining, puny, pitiful players. 你们这种又爱哭、又软弱、又可怜的赌棍就是这样。
• The dog sat outside the door whining (to be let in). 那条狗坐在门外狺狺叫着（要进来）。

9 analyzed   

v.分析( analyze的过去式和过去分词 )；分解；解释；对…进行心理分析

参考例句：

• The doctors analyzed the blood sample for anemia. 医生们分析了贫血的血样。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The young man did not analyze the process of his captivation and enrapturement, for love to him was a mystery and could not be analyzed. 这年轻人没有分析自己蛊惑著迷的过程，因为对他来说，爱是个不可分析的迷。 来自《简明英汉词典》

10 differentiate   

vi.(between)区分；vt.区别；使不同

参考例句：

• You can differentiate between the houses by the shape of their chimneys.你可以凭借烟囱形状的不同来区分这两幢房子。
• He never learned to differentiate between good and evil.他从未学会分辨善恶。

11 arrogant   

adj.傲慢的，自大的

参考例句：

• You've got to get rid of your arrogant ways.你这骄傲劲儿得好好改改。
• People are waking up that he is arrogant.人们开始认识到他很傲慢。