Are You a Realist?

Are You a Realist?

 If one man tells you a horse, he’s insane

if three men tell you you’re a horse, there’s a conspiracy¹

If ten men tell you you’re a horse, you need to buy a saddle.

- Chinese proverb

I stared in disbelief at my Regional Manager. I could no longer hear the words coming from his mouth because all my attention was turned inside in a torrent² of abuse aimed at him, the company, the industry, and of course, myself.

How could this be happening to me? How could I be turned down for the management development program when it had been de facto promised to me if I hit certain goals. Goals that had all been reached and most smashed.

As my brain scrambled³ to make sense of what was happening I heard him say one final thing before the meeting came to a close and I was suddenly out in the cold, both figuratively and literally⁴:

“You’re just too negative and pessimistic mate. Work on that and we can talk again in six months when the next round comes up.”

I’m A Realist, Not A Pessimist⁵

Too pessimistic, me? Was he being serious? I wasn’t a pessimistic person at all I was a realist. Sure I was the guy at meetings that pointed⁶ out the down side of things. But every business needs employees that can be objective, point out flaws, and not just agree to everything suggested by senior management.

It just so happened I was that guy, and proud of it!

Over the next few days, and rather ironically considering what I had been told, I whined⁷ and complained to everybody and anybody that would listen to me about how poorly I had been treated.

The responses didn’t quite pan out as I thought though because I didn’t get anything like the sympathy I expected from such an obvious travesty⁸ of justice.

In fact just the opposite in many cases, with people shrugging their shoulders and a couple even laughing out loud in a “What did you expect?” manner.

Seeing Myself As Others Did

I was stunned⁹, I mean really stunned. I was starting to see myself as others saw me rather than I thought I was.

Leaving the whole Myers-Briggs thing to one side and speaking very broadly, people tend to think of themselves as belonging to one of three different personality types. They either see themselves as being an optimist¹⁰, a realist (pragmatist) or a pessimist.

When I speak to groups I will often kick things off by asking people to raise their hand to indicate which group they think they belong to. The split is usually along the lines of 50% feel they are optimistic, 40% realistic and 10% pessimistic.

Those figures are probably skewed somewhat as I suspect few people like thrusting their hand in to the air to announce to their peers and employers they are pessimistic. In my experience, it’s seldom a good career move.

However, it’s really a trick question, because to my mind there are really only 2 groups of people, optimists¹¹ and pessimists¹².

Realism Is For Accountants

Take a glance around you at the moment and I guarantee you can see any number of things that at one time in the past were considered totally unrealistic and beyond the pale, including the device you are using to read this post.

Every single major breakthrough in the history of the human species was at some point in time considered unrealistic. Every single one.

History is littered with legions of realists lining¹³ up to ‘help’ the doers and the optimists by pointing out the error of their ways and assuring them they are wasting their time.

Fortunately for humankind optimists tend not to listen to other peoples version of reality Otherwise we’d still be living in caves, clubbing our dinner to death each evening and wearing furry¹⁴ underwear.

I’m okay with the furry underwear bit, but I’m not so keen on stalking my dinner or hanging out in bat-ridden, bear-hiding caves thanks very much.

If you’re still not convinced and think you are a realist let me take it a stage further.

How Realistic Are You Really?

Think of the last 5 things you worried about. How many came true? My guess is if you are anything like the vast majority of my clients it’s either 0 or 1.

And even if it’s 1, I doubt it was as serious as you feared and you obviously dealt with it because you are here reading this post.

So how realistic is it, spending most of your time worrying about things that, on the whole, never happen, and when they do you deal with them?

Shortly after my setback¹⁵ I picked up a copy of ‘Learned Optimism’ by Martin Seligman and started to read and things started to make sense.

I realized that my form of realism wasn’t just draining on people around me and a millstone around the neck of my career, but it also had a host of negative psychological and health issues connected to it.

Optimistic people, get sick less often, they are more successful in their careers, they make more money, they’re happier and they tend to live longer.

Not only that, but even though about 50% of our happiness levels are set at birth by our genes¹⁶, the wiggle room in the other 50% is so great that (psychological issues aside) anybody can learn to be optimistic and thus happier.

If that is, the will is there.

How come nobody ever told me this at school?

It’s over 10 years since I had that conversation with my boss and barely a day has passed when I haven’t done something to help me move toward being a happier and more optimistic person.

I would be lying if I said it has been a smooth upward curve to a state of permanent blis, because life doesn’t work like that.

However, I’m pleased to say that I’m now the guy that looks for solutions and not the one that looks for problems and I’m grateful that my manager helped me realize I needed to buy a saddle because even though I didn’t believe it at the time, there really was no conspiracy.

1 conspiracy   

n.阴谋，密谋，共谋

参考例句：

• The men were found guilty of conspiracy to murder.这些人被裁决犯有阴谋杀人罪。
• He claimed that it was all a conspiracy against him.他声称这一切都是一场针对他的阴谋。

2 torrent   

n.激流，洪流；爆发，(话语等的)连发

参考例句：

• The torrent scoured a channel down the hillside. 急流沿着山坡冲出了一条沟。
• Her pent-up anger was released in a torrent of words.她压抑的愤怒以滔滔不绝的话爆发了出来。

3 scrambled   

v.快速爬行( scramble的过去式和过去分词 )；攀登；争夺；（军事飞机）紧急起飞

参考例句：

• Each scrambled for the football at the football ground. 足球场上你争我夺。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• He scrambled awkwardly to his feet. 他笨拙地爬起身来。 来自《简明英汉词典》

4 literally   

adv.照字面意义，逐字地；确实

参考例句：

• He translated the passage literally.他逐字逐句地翻译这段文字。
• Sometimes she would not sit down till she was literally faint.有时候，她不走到真正要昏厥了，决不肯坐下来。

5 pessimist   

n.悲观者；悲观主义者；厌世

参考例句：

• An optimist laughs to forget.A pessimist forgets to laugh.乐观者笑着忘却，悲观者忘记怎样笑。
• The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity.The optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty.悲观者在每个机会中都看到困难，乐观者在每个困难中都看到机会。

6 pointed   

adj.尖的，直截了当的

参考例句：

• He gave me a very sharp pointed pencil.他给我一支削得非常尖的铅笔。
• She wished to show Mrs.John Dashwood by this pointed invitation to her brother.她想通过对达茨伍德夫人提出直截了当的邀请向她的哥哥表示出来。

7 whined   

v.哀号( whine的过去式和过去分词 )；哀诉，诉怨

参考例句：

• The dog whined at the door, asking to be let out. 狗在门前嚎叫着要出去。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• He whined and pouted when he did not get what he wanted. 他要是没得到想要的东西就会发牢骚、撅嘴。 来自辞典例句

8 travesty   

n.歪曲，嘲弄，滑稽化

参考例句：

• The trial was a travesty of justice.这次审判嘲弄了法律的公正性。
• The play was,in their view,a travesty of the truth.这个剧本在他们看来是对事实的歪曲。

9 stunned   

adj. 震惊的，惊讶的 动词stun的过去式和过去分词

参考例句：

• The fall stunned me for a moment. 那一下摔得我昏迷了片刻。
• The leaders of the Kopper Company were then stunned speechless. 科伯公司的领导们当时被惊得目瞪口呆。

10 optimist   

n.乐观的人，乐观主义者

参考例句：

• We are optimist and realist.我们是乐观主义者，又是现实主义者。
• Peter,ever the optimist,said things were bound to improve.一向乐观的皮特说，事情必定是会好转的。

11 optimists   

n.乐观主义者( optimist的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• Even optimists admit the outlook to be poor. 甚至乐观的人都认为前景不好。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Optimists reckon house prices will move up with inflation this year. 乐观人士认为今年的房价将会随通货膨胀而上涨。 来自辞典例句

12 pessimists   

n.悲观主义者( pessimist的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• Pessimists tell us that the family as we know it is doomed. 悲观主义者告诉我们说，我们现在的这种家庭注定要崩溃。 来自辞典例句
• Experts on the future are divided into pessimists and optimists. 对未来发展进行预测的专家可分为悲观主义者和乐观主义者两类。 来自互联网

13 lining   

n.衬里，衬料

参考例句：

• The lining of my coat is torn.我的外套衬里破了。
• Moss makes an attractive lining to wire baskets.用苔藓垫在铁丝篮里很漂亮。

14 furry   

adj.毛皮的；似毛皮的；毛皮制的

参考例句：

• This furry material will make a warm coat for the winter.这件毛皮料在冬天会是一件保暖的大衣。
• Mugsy is a big furry brown dog,who wiggles when she is happy.马格斯是一只棕色大长毛狗，当她高兴得时候她会摇尾巴。

15 setback   

n.退步，挫折，挫败

参考例句：

• Since that time there has never been any setback in his career.从那时起他在事业上一直没有遇到周折。
• She views every minor setback as a disaster.她把每个较小的挫折都看成重大灾难。

16 genes   

n.基因( gene的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• You have good genes from your parents, so you should live a long time. 你从父母那儿获得优良的基因，所以能够活得很长。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Differences will help to reveal the functions of the genes. 它们间的差异将会帮助我们揭开基因多种功能。 来自英汉非文学 - 生命科学 - 生物技术的世纪