3步：和你闹掰的同事言归于好

 　　If you've spent enough time in the workforce¹, you almost certainly have a trail of damaged professional relationships behind you. That doesn't mean you're a bad manager or employee; it's simply a fact that some people don't get along, and when we have to rely on each other (to finish the report, to execute the campaign, to close the deal), there are bound to be crossed wires and disappointments.

　　作为一位上司，如果你只专注于员工的工作效率，那就意味着你很有可能影响到与同事之间的关系。但是这并不等于你就是一位坏的上司，只能说你不适合与某些人相处，并且在需要对方的时候（完成报告，执行计划，签订协议等），就一定会导致理解上的缺失。

　　Here's how to buck³ up and repair a professional relationship that's gone off the rails.

　　下面我们看看有哪些方法可以改善偏离了的职业关系吧。

　　3步：和你闹掰的同事言归于好

　　First, it's important to recognize that making the effort is worthwhile.

　　首先，你得意识到努力的重要性。

　　Obviously it'll ratchet tension down at the office if you're not glaring at your colleague every time they enter the room. But resolving this tension will actually aid your own productivity. You can eliminate unresolved matters that nag² at your mind.

　　很明显，只要你不是每次在同事们进入办公室的时候盯着他们的话，气氛就不会这么紧张。不过，若你能够解决这种紧张气氛，这的确能够大大提高自己的创造力。甚至还可以解决让你纠结已久的工作。

　　Next, recognize your own culpability⁴.

　　接着是，承认自己的过失

　　It's easy to demonize your colleague. But you're almost certainly contributing to the dynamic in some way, as well. If you think your colleague is too quiet, you may be filling up the airtime in meetings, which encourages them to become even quieter. If you think he's too lax with details, you may start micromanaging him so much. To get anywhere, you have to understand your role in the situation.

　　把责任归咎于同事们很容易，但是你也很大程度上促使了这件事的发生。如果你觉得同事们太安静，你还在会议期间把行程排得满满的，这样只会让他们更沉默。如果你认为同事们不注重细节，你就会开始对他们吹毛求疵。不管怎样，你应该了解自己在不同情况下的角色和作用。

　　Now it's time to press reset⁵.

　　然后便是重置规则。

　　If you unilaterally "decide" you're going to improve your relationship with your colleague, you're likely to be disappointed quickly. The moment they fail to respond to a positive overture⁶ or display an irritating behavior, you may conclude that your effort was wasted. Instead, try to make them a partner in your effort.

　　如果你只是单方面"决定"要修补与同事之间的关系，也许你会更失望。当你发现他们并没有积极地回应你或者表现出不耐烦的态度，你就有可能草率地认为自己的努力白费了。相反，你应该通过努力让他们成为自己的伙伴，这样紧张的工作关系才得以缓解。

　　Finally, you need to change the dynamic.

　　最后，你还得改变动力的方向。

　　Even the best of intentions – including an agreement with your colleague to turn over a new leaf – can quickly disintegrate⁷ if you fall back into your old patterns. To write down a transcript⁸ of what was said by each party, so you can begin to see patterns – where you were pushing and she was pulling. Over time, it's likely that you'll be able to better grasp the big picture of how you're relating to each other and areas where you can try something different.

　　即使是最好的意图——包括与同事执行协议的下一步，如果你重蹈覆辙的话，之前的努力还只是无用功。记下每一个小组的发言，你就可以了解他们的思维模式——你就知道该从何下手。久而久之，你就能形成一个与大部分人相处的画面，并且你想尝试的方向也会有所不同。

　　We often imagine that our relationships are permanent and fixed⁹ – I don't get along with him because he's a control freak, and that's not likely to change. But we underestimate ourselves, and each other. It's true that you can't give your colleagues a personality transplant and turn them into entirely¹⁰ different people; we all have natural tendencies that emerge. But clearly understanding the dynamics¹¹ of the relationship – and making changes to what's not working – can lead to markedly more positive results.

　　我们常常都会想当然的认为人际关系是永久固定的——我不与他打交道是因为他是一个控制狂，并且很难改变。但是我们低估了自己的能力，还有别人的能力。没错，你不能改变同事的个性，但是我们可以有这种努力的意愿。要清楚了解关系的动态发展，并且尝试解决无法改变的情况，这样才会得到比较满意的效果。

1 workforce   

n.劳动大军，劳动力

参考例句：

• A large part of the workforce is employed in agriculture.劳动人口中一大部分受雇于农业。
• A quarter of the local workforce is unemployed.本地劳动力中有四分之一失业。

2 nag   

v.(对…)不停地唠叨；n.爱唠叨的人

参考例句：

• Nobody likes to work with a nag.谁也不愿与好唠叨的人一起共事。
• Don't nag me like an old woman.别像个老太婆似的唠唠叨叨烦我。

3 buck   

n.雄鹿，雄兔；v.马离地跳跃

参考例句：

• The boy bent curiously to the skeleton of the buck.这个男孩好奇地弯下身去看鹿的骸骨。
• The female deer attracts the buck with high-pitched sounds.雌鹿以尖声吸引雄鹿。

4 culpability   

n.苛责，有罪

参考例句：

• As if the estrangement between them had come of any culpability of hers. 姐弟俩疏远的责任竟仿佛落到了她的身上！ 来自英汉文学 - 双城记
• The offence, as now defined in English law, covers a wide spectrum of culpability. 英国法律规定，违法包括很多种过失行为。 来自互联网

5 reset   

v.重新安排，复位；n.重新放置；重放之物

参考例句：

• As soon as you arrive at your destination,step out of the aircraft and reset your wristwatch.你一到达目的地，就走出飞机并重新设置手表时间。
• He is recovering from an operation to reset his arm.他做了一个手臂复位手术，正在恢复。

6 overture   

n.前奏曲、序曲，提议，提案，初步交涉

参考例句：

• The opera was preceded by a short overture.这部歌剧开始前有一段简短的序曲。
• His overture led to nothing.他的提议没有得到什么结果。

7 disintegrate   

v.瓦解，解体，（使）碎裂，（使）粉碎

参考例句：

• The older strata gradually disintegrate.较老的岩层渐渐风化。
• The plane would probably disintegrate at that high speed.飞机以那么高速飞行也许会四分五裂。

8 transcript   

n.抄本，誊本，副本，肄业证书

参考例句：

• A transcript of the tapes was presented as evidence in court.一份录音带的文字本作为证据被呈交法庭。
• They wouldn't let me have a transcript of the interview.他们拒绝给我一份采访的文字整理稿。

9 fixed   

adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的

参考例句：

• Have you two fixed on a date for the wedding yet?你们俩选定婚期了吗？
• Once the aim is fixed,we should not change it arbitrarily.目标一旦确定，我们就不应该随意改变。

10 entirely   

ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The fire was entirely caused by their neglect of duty. 那场火灾完全是由于他们失职而引起的。
• His life was entirely given up to the educational work. 他的一生统统献给了教育工作。

11 dynamics   

n.力学，动力学，动力，原动力；动态

参考例句：

• In order to succeed,you must master complicated knowledge of dynamics.要取得胜利，你必须掌握很复杂的动力学知识。
• Dynamics is a discipline that cannot be mastered without extensive practice.动力学是一门不做大量习题就不能掌握的学科。