婚前五大必问问题，你接招了吗？

 　　These 5 questions are things you should ask each other in order to have a more harmonious¹, fulfilling marriage together. Knowing the answers to these questions should help make you a better spouse².

　　在婚前向你的另一半提问以下5个问题，可以促进你们婚后更融洽的相处和更圆满的婚姻。从你的另一半那里了解这些问题的答案会帮助你们成为更好的夫妻。

　　We don't expect you to do exactly as your partner would like after asking and answering these questions -- after all, their preferences might be completely unreasonable³! But it is helpful, at least, to know what their preferences are, so you can be sensitive to them.

　　我们不希望你完全按照另一半的答案去做---毕竟，他们的喜好可能完全不合理！但是肯定会有用，至少知道他们的喜好你可以心中有数。

　　婚前五大必问问题，你接招了吗？

　　1. How much or little can we let ourselves go?

　　我们能胖或瘦多少？

　　You may always love your partner, no matter how they look -- that's easy to promise. But attraction is a different beast. Sure, there are some things people can't control (disease-repeated weight gain, genetic⁴ hair loss, etc.), but we all have a certain amount of control over the way we look. Do you expect your partner to take pains to fight the aging process, or do you expect that with age (and marriage) comes some amount of inevitable⁵, understandable, and therefore forgivable deterioration⁶? Where along this spectrum⁷ do you two lie, and if it's worlds apart, can you meet somewhere in the middle?

　　你可能会一直爱你的另一半，不管他们长相如何——但承诺容易，吸引力却是不可控的。当然，很多东西人们是没法控制的（体重反复增加、遗传性脱发等），但是我们在长相方面可以自控。你希望看到你的另一半痛苦地与衰老作斗争吗？还是你认同随着年龄的增长、婚姻年限的增加，衰老是不可抗拒、可以理解和原谅的？对于这个问题你们各自的底线是什么？如果两人的意见分歧太大，有没有可以折中的点？

　　2. Do you want me to tell you if you're having a bad hair (etc.) day?

　　如果你的发型乱了，你愿意让我提醒你吗？

　　Yes, it is a spousal responsibility to let each other know if one of you has a piece of toilet paper stuck to their shoe, spinach⁸ in their teeth. But what about the other stuff in life? Do you want me to be honest when you try on an outfit⁹ for me? Do you want me to honest when you ask if your hair is thinning? Do you want me to tell you if you're being too loud at a party? Etc.

　　是的，如果另一半的鞋子上黏了一块卫生纸、或者牙缝中有菠菜叶，你有责任提醒TA。但是其他的生活琐事呢？比如说，当你试穿衣服征求我的意见时希望听到的是我的真实想法吗？在询问我你的头发是否有变稀薄的时候，你希望听到的是实话吗？你希望我提醒你在聚会中太过吵闹吗？等等。

　　3. How do you feel about ladies'/guys' nights out?

　　我晚上出去参加朋友聚会你是什么感觉？

　　How often will we be seeing our friends without each other? Are there any activities you would be bummed¹⁰ about if I did them without you?

　　我们多久可以单独出去参加一次朋友聚会？如果我出去参加活动没有带上你你会不高兴吗？

　　4. How do you feel about my exes?

　　你对我的前任是什么感受？

　　Are we staying in touch with our exes? Just Facebook? Just email? Phone? What about in-person get-togethers? Groups only, or is one-on-one acceptable? Day-time meetings only, or are late-night drinks get-togethers kosher? Etc.

　　我们可以同前任保持联系吗？如果仅在社交网站脸熟上联系呢？仅邮件、电话联系？还是可以允许见面？如果见面可以的话，是只能聚会中见面还是可以单独见面？只能白天时间见面，还是可以晚上出去一起喝酒？等等。

　　5. How do you feel about adultery?

　　对于婚外情呢？

　　Of course we're promising¹¹ to never cheat or lie or kiss or sleep with someone else. But let's face it: some people cheat.  You may be 100 percent sure you'll never cheat on your partner, but still -- it's good to talk about this stuff anyway. Do you believe that lifelong monogamy is realistic for humans? Is cheating immediate¹² grounds for divorce? If it's just a drunken one-night stand with a complete stranger, would you rather not know, if I promise never to do it again? Okay, probably not, but what if it's just a drunken kiss and nothing more? Do you mind if Itext-flirt with someone, so long as we never do anything? What aboute-flirting with complete strangers?

　　当然，我们会彼此承诺彼此不允许欺骗、撒谎、亲吻他人、或者与他人滚床单。但是我们一起正视这个问题吧：还是有人会撒谎。你可能百分百确信你永远不会欺骗你的另一半，但是——不管怎样这个问题都值得讨论。你认为一生只爱一个对人类来说可行吗？如果另一半欺骗你，这会导致马上离婚吗？如果只是酒醉的一夜情、并保证不再发生第二次，你会宁愿假装不知道吗？好，很可能你不愿意这样。那么如果只是酒醉无意吻了别人而没有其他呢？你会介意我与别人短信暧昧、但什么也不发生吗？如果是与陌生人暧昧呢？

1 harmonious   

adj.和睦的，调和的，和谐的，协调的

参考例句：

• Their harmonious relationship resulted in part from their similar goals.他们关系融洽的部分原因是他们有着相似的目标。
• The room was painted in harmonious colors.房间油漆得色彩调和。

2 spouse   

n.配偶(指夫或妻)

参考例句：

• Her spouse will come to see her on Sunday.她的丈夫星期天要来看她。
• What is the best way to keep your spouse happy in the marriage?在婚姻中保持配偶幸福的最好方法是什么？

3 unreasonable   

adj.不讲道理的，不合情理的，过度的

参考例句：

• I know that they made the most unreasonable demands on you.我知道他们对你提出了最不合理的要求。
• They spend an unreasonable amount of money on clothes.他们花在衣服上的钱太多了。

4 genetic   

adj.遗传的，遗传学的

参考例句：

• It's very difficult to treat genetic diseases.遗传性疾病治疗起来很困难。
• Each daughter cell can receive a full complement of the genetic information.每个子细胞可以收到遗传信息的一个完全补偿物。

5 inevitable   

adj.不可避免的，必然发生的

参考例句：

• Mary was wearing her inevitable large hat.玛丽戴着她总是戴的那顶大帽子。
• The defeat had inevitable consequences for British policy.战败对英国政策不可避免地产生了影响。

6 deterioration   

n.退化；恶化；变坏

参考例句：

• Mental and physical deterioration both occur naturally with age. 随着年龄的增长，心智和体力自然衰退。
• The car's bodywork was already showing signs of deterioration. 这辆车的车身已经显示出了劣化迹象。

7 spectrum   

n.谱，光谱，频谱；范围，幅度，系列

参考例句：

• This is a kind of atomic spectrum.这是一种原子光谱。
• We have known much of the constitution of the solar spectrum.关于太阳光谱的构成，我们已了解不少。

8 spinach   

n.菠菜

参考例句：

• Eating spinach is supposed to make you strong.据说吃菠菜能使人强壮。
• You should eat such vegetables as carrot,celery and spinach.你应该吃胡萝卜、芹菜和菠菜这类的蔬菜。

9 outfit   

n.（为特殊用途的）全套装备，全套服装

参考例句：

• Jenney bought a new outfit for her daughter's wedding.珍妮为参加女儿的婚礼买了一套新装。
• His father bought a ski outfit for him on his birthday.他父亲在他生日那天给他买了一套滑雪用具。

10 bummed   

失望的，沮丧的

参考例句：

• I was really bummed out that there were no tickets left. 没有票了，我非常恼火。
• I didn't do anything last summer; I just bummed around. 去年夏天我游手好闲，什么正经事也没做。

11 promising   

adj.有希望的，有前途的

参考例句：

• The results of the experiments are very promising.实验的结果充满了希望。
• We're trying to bring along one or two promising young swimmers.我们正设法培养出一两名有前途的年轻游泳选手。

12 immediate   

adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的

参考例句：

• His immediate neighbours felt it their duty to call.他的近邻认为他们有责任去拜访。
• We declared ourselves for the immediate convocation of the meeting.我们主张立即召开这个会议。