英考生申请上霍格沃茨 招生办诙谐拒绝

 　　Getting into university is hard enough at the best of times - but when your chosen institution is a work of fiction you're really up against.

　　即便是在最好的时代，考入大学也是挺困难的事儿，要是你选的学校还是小说中虚构的学校，那就难上加难了。

　　And that's why this young joker's UCAS application to Hogwarts University was unsuccessful.

　　这也正是这位恶作剧的的年轻人没能通过英国高校招生机构UCAS成功申请到霍格沃茨魔法学院（Hogwarts University）的原因。

　　But the admissions services' response to the prankster is hilarious¹.

　　但UCAS给这个捣蛋鬼的回信更加让人忍俊不禁。

　　英考生申请上霍格沃茨 招生办诙谐拒绝

　　The unnamed A-Level student wrote a handwritten note to UCAS asking for a place studying 'Wandology' at the Harry² Potter school.

　　这位匿名的英国高考生给UCAS手写了一个申请表，申请去哈利?波特（Harry Potter）所在的学校攻读“魔杖学”。

　　In the application, he boasted of his proficiency³ in "wearing a pointy hat" and "Watching Paul Daniels TV Specials".

　　在申请表中，他夸耀自己在“戴尖帽”、“观看保罗?丹尼尔斯（Paul Daniels）的魔术电视专题节目”上颇有建树。

　　UCAS replied: "We regret to inform you that your application to the stated establishment cannot be processed at this time due to the fact that it does not exist.

　　UCAS回复说：“我们很遗憾地通知您，您的学校申请现在无法办理。原因是该校并不存在。”

　　"After consultation⁴ with our mystic advisors⁵ we have also determined⁶ that even if it did exist, the course 'Wandology' would be highly in demand and hence require at least two As and a B in any of the following subjects:

　　“同我们的魔法顾问协商后，我们还确定，即便该校存在，‘魔杖学’这一课程的竞争一定会非常激烈，因此要求在以下科目中拿到至少两个A和一个B。”

　　Advanced Spellcrafting

　　高等魔咒写作

　　Mystimatics

　　魔法学

　　Defence Against the Dark Arts

　　黑魔法防御术

　　History of the Occult

　　魔法史

　　Shaft⁷ Design

　　魔杖设计

　　"Your hand written grade sheet claiming top marks in 'Waving a stick about', 'Wearing a pointy hat' and 'Watching Paul Daniels TV Specials' sadly is not suitable for submission⁸, however by applying through clearing you may be suitable for a selection of Liberal Arts courses.

　　“您的手写成绩单提及您在‘挥舞木棍’、‘戴尖帽’和‘观看保罗?丹尼尔斯的魔术电视专题节目’这三门科目上成绩颇高，但很遗憾，上述成绩并不符合申请要求。但如果您通过补录程序申请空缺名额，您可能适合学习某些文科课程。”

　　"Alternatively you may wish to resubmit next year by tying your letter to an owl⁹ and hoping for the best.

　　“或者您可能愿意明年继续申请，那么请您务必将您的信件绑在猫头鹰上，祝您好运。”

　　"On behalf of UCAS I wish you every success."

　　“谨代表UCAS祝您一切顺利。”

　　Vocabulary

　　prankster：恶作剧的人

　　occult：神秘学

　　shaft：杆状物

　　clearing：英国UCAS补录程序

1 hilarious   

adj.充满笑声的，欢闹的；[反]depressed

参考例句：

• The party got quite hilarious after they brought more wine.在他们又拿来更多的酒之后，派对变得更加热闹起来。
• We stop laughing because the show was so hilarious.我们笑个不停，因为那个节目太搞笑了。

2 harry   

vt.掠夺，蹂躏，使苦恼

参考例句：

• Today,people feel more hurried and harried.今天，人们感到更加忙碌和苦恼。
• Obama harried business by Healthcare Reform plan.奥巴马用医改掠夺了商界。

3 proficiency   

n.精通，熟练，精练

参考例句：

• He plied his trade and gained proficiency in it.他勤习手艺，技术渐渐达到了十分娴熟的地步。
• How do you think of your proficiency in written and spoken English?你认为你的书面英语和口语熟练程度如何？

4 consultation   

n.咨询；商量；商议；会议

参考例句：

• The company has promised wide consultation on its expansion plans.该公司允诺就其扩展计划广泛征求意见。
• The scheme was developed in close consultation with the local community.该计划是在同当地社区密切磋商中逐渐形成的。

5 advisors   

n.顾问，劝告者( advisor的名词复数 )；（指导大学新生学科问题等的）指导教授

参考例句：

• The governors felt that they were being strung along by their advisors. 地方长官感到他们一直在受顾问们的愚弄。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• We will consult together with advisors about her education. 我们将一起和专家商议她的教育事宜。 来自互联网

6 determined   

adj.坚定的；有决心的

参考例句：

• I have determined on going to Tibet after graduation.我已决定毕业后去西藏。
• He determined to view the rooms behind the office.他决定查看一下办公室后面的房间。

7 shaft   

n.(工具的)柄，杆状物

参考例句：

• He was wounded by a shaft.他被箭击中受伤。
• This is the shaft of a steam engine.这是一个蒸汽机主轴。

8 submission   

n.服从，投降；温顺，谦虚；提出

参考例句：

• The defeated general showed his submission by giving up his sword.战败将军缴剑表示投降。
• No enemy can frighten us into submission.任何敌人的恐吓都不能使我们屈服。

9 owl   

n.猫头鹰，枭

参考例句：

• Her new glasses make her look like an owl.她的新眼镜让她看上去像只猫头鹰。
• I'm a night owl and seldom go to bed until after midnight.我睡得很晚，经常半夜后才睡觉。