情商高的老板一定懂得如何批评你

 Anna Lundberg的建议

Feedback is a gift, they say, and it’s one of the most powerful tools in your skills toolkit as you grow as a manager and a leader. It's important to know when to give feedback and how to do so in an effective and constructive¹ way.

人们说，反馈就像一份礼物，当你晋升至经理领导层，它就成了你技能库里一项最有力量的工具。知道何时该给下属反馈，通过何种有效且有建设性的方式给予反馈非常重要。

There are a few rules that you should observe here in order to make this effective:

如果你希望你的反馈能达到目的，不妨参照以下几个方法：

1. Always be specific rather than making sweeping² statements.

1.具体精准而非泛泛而谈。

Refer to a specific (recent) occasion, a particular action in order to focus the discussion on a tangible³ case.

指的是评论特定的场景（或最近的情况），某一活动，这样做就为了把讨论的话题围绕着具体的事件。

2. Describe the behaviour rather than evaluating it.

2.描述行为的本身而不是对它做出评判。

Express what you have observed, and how that makes you feel, rather than making a judgment⁴ on whether a particular behaviour is good or bad.

说出你所观察到的，以及你的个人感受，而不是盲目地评判某一行为的好与坏。

3. Focus on the behaviour rather than the person.

3.对事不对人。

A person cannot change who they are but they can change the way in which they behave so focus on that specific way of acting⁵.

一个人无法改变自己的性格，但可以改变自己的行事方式，所以请关注在事情的处理方式上。

4. sure you’re giving feedback for the right reason.

4.确保你的反馈有理有据。

Think of what the effect will be on your relationship with the person receiving the feedback, and make sure that you’re not simply venting⁶ your frustration⁷ but rather that you’re giving constructive input⁸.

想一想这次反馈对于你及接收反馈的对方在关系上的影响，同时得确保你不只是发泄自己的不满，相反，你在给予有建设性的输入。

5. Praise in public, criticise⁹ in private.

5. 公开表扬，私下批评。

If you're giving negative feedback, make sure that you do so in a confidential¹⁰ 1:1 setting; you don't want to be screaming at your report so everyone can hear you! If on the other hand you have positive things to say by all means do say in front of the team.

如果你想给对方负面的反馈，请记住要私下一对一做！一方面，你并不想因为报告的事情吵翻天，这样每个人都能听到你的声音！若另一方面你有什么想要表达赞赏的话，那无论如何都要在团队面前说出来。

Kenneth Downer的建议

Here are six things to think about before you decide to have that conversation.

对话前，首先考虑下面六件事情。

1. Do it when you are calm and unemotional.

1. 在冷静理智的时候给予反馈。

Yelling and banging your fist on the desk may get short term results but rarely fixes the underlying¹¹ problem. Stay calm, make it a conversation.

大声嚷嚷，怒拍桌子只能治标不治本。冷静下来，好好谈谈。

2. Do it sooner rather than later.

2.越早越好。

The longer you wait, the more you miss an opportunity to fix something before it gets any further off track.  As soon as you can, take a deep breath, and get it done.

时间拖得越长，你就会失去了把事情都扭转至正确轨道上来的机会。因此，深呼吸，尽快把事情解决了。

3. Do it privately¹².

3. 私下解决。

People generally don’t appreciate being criticized in public – it’s a hit on their esteem¹³, puts them on the defensive¹⁴, and makes it harder to have an open discussion.

人们一般都不喜欢在别人面前被批评——这样会大大损害对方的自尊心，激发内在的防御机制，然后就很难进行更开放的交谈了。

4. Focus on the behavior (not the person).

4.对事不对人。

Anything that sounds like a personal attack will immediately bring up the defensive shields; keep your focus on the actions that can be changed.

任何听起来有针对个人意味的言辞很快就会激起对方自我保护意识，所以话题要关注在可变的行为上。

5. Identify the specific problem or concern.

5. 指出特定的问题或担忧。

Saying, “your work stinks” doesn’t give him anything to go on.  It’s more helpful if you can state what specifically needs to be addressed.

如果你说：“你的表现真差！”绝对不会给他产生任何进步的作用。因此，你把具体的细节说清楚也许会更有效。

6.ID impact on the team/mission.

6.分析对团队/任务的影响

Be able to state specifically why the behavior is hurting the team. This keeps the discussion focused on the mission, as it should be.

要精确地说明白为何此行为会损害到团队发展。这样就能把讨论的话题集中在任务上，正如本来就应该的。

1 constructive   

adj.建设的，建设性的

参考例句：

• We welcome constructive criticism.我们乐意接受有建设性的批评。
• He is beginning to deal with his anger in a constructive way.他开始用建设性的方法处理自己的怒气。

2 sweeping   

adj.范围广大的，一扫无遗的

参考例句：

• The citizens voted for sweeping reforms.公民投票支持全面的改革。
• Can you hear the wind sweeping through the branches?你能听到风掠过树枝的声音吗？

3 tangible   

adj.有形的，可触摸的，确凿的，实际的

参考例句：

• The policy has not yet brought any tangible benefits.这项政策还没有带来任何实质性的好处。
• There is no tangible proof.没有确凿的证据。

4 judgment   

n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见

参考例句：

• The chairman flatters himself on his judgment of people.主席自认为他审视人比别人高明。
• He's a man of excellent judgment.他眼力过人。

5 acting   

n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的

参考例句：

• Ignore her,she's just acting.别理她，她只是假装的。
• During the seventies,her acting career was in eclipse.在七十年代，她的表演生涯黯然失色。

6 venting   

消除； 泄去； 排去； 通风

参考例句：

• But, unexpectedly, he started venting his spleen on her. 哪知道，老头子说着说着绕到她身上来。 来自汉英文学 - 骆驼祥子
• So now he's venting his anger on me. 哦，我这才知道原来还是怄我的气。

7 frustration   

n.挫折，失败，失效，落空

参考例句：

• He had to fight back tears of frustration.他不得不强忍住失意的泪水。
• He beat his hands on the steering wheel in frustration.他沮丧地用手打了几下方向盘。

8 input   

n.输入(物)；投入；vt.把(数据等)输入计算机

参考例句：

• I will forever be grateful for his considerable input.我将永远感激他的大量投入。
• All this information had to be input onto the computer.所有这些信息都必须输入计算机。

9 criticise   

v.批评，评论；非难

参考例句：

• Right and left have much cause to criticise government.左翼和右翼有很多理由批评政府。
• It is not your place to criticise or suggest improvements!提出批评或给予改进建议并不是你的责任！

10 confidential   

adj.秘（机）密的，表示信任的，担任机密工作的

参考例句：

• He refused to allow his secretary to handle confidential letters.他不让秘书处理机密文件。
• We have a confidential exchange of views.我们推心置腹地交换意见。

11 underlying   

adj.在下面的，含蓄的，潜在的

参考例句：

• The underlying theme of the novel is very serious.小说隐含的主题是十分严肃的。
• This word has its underlying meaning.这个单词有它潜在的含义。

12 privately   

adv.以私人的身份，悄悄地，私下地

参考例句：

• Some ministers admit privately that unemployment could continue to rise.一些部长私下承认失业率可能继续升高。
• The man privately admits that his motive is profits.那人私下承认他的动机是为了牟利。

13 esteem   

n.尊敬，尊重；vt.尊重，敬重；把…看作

参考例句：

• I did not esteem him to be worthy of trust.我认为他不值得信赖。
• The veteran worker ranks high in public love and esteem.那位老工人深受大伙的爱戴。

14 defensive   

adj.防御的；防卫的；防守的

参考例句：

• Their questions about the money put her on the defensive.他们问到钱的问题，使她警觉起来。
• The Government hastily organized defensive measures against the raids.政府急忙布置了防卫措施抵御空袭。