雅思写作：增强语句表现力的五大王牌

 　　雅思写作：增强语句表现力的五大王牌

　　一、避免使用语意弱的“be”动词。

　　1、把句中的表语转换为不同的修饰语。例如：

　　Weak: The trees are bare. The grass is brown. The landscape seems drab. Revision:The brown grass and bare trees form a drab landscape. (转换为前置定语)

　　Or: The landscape, bare and brown, begged for spring green. (转换为并列结构作后置定语)

　　2、将作表语用的形容词或名词变为行为动词。例如：

　　1)

　　Weak: The team members are good players.

　　Revision: The team members play well.

　　2)

　　Weak: One worker's plan is the elimination¹ of tardiness².

　　Revision: One worker's plan eliminates tardiness.

　　3、在以“here”或“there”开头的句子中，把“be”动词后的名词代词变成改写句的主语。例如：

　　1)

　　Weak: There is no opportunity for promotion³.

　　Revision: No opportunity for promotion exists.

　　2)

　　Weak: Here are the books you ordered.

　　Revision: The books you ordered have arrived.

　　二、多用语意具体的动词，保持句意简洁明了。例如：

　　1、

　　Poor: My supervisor⁴ went past my desk.

　　Better: My supervisor sauntered (=walked slowly) past my desk.

　　2、

　　Poor: She is a careful shopper.

　　Better: She compares prices and quality.

　　三、尽量运用主动语态。例如：

　　1、

　　Weak: The organization has been supported by charity.

　　Better: Charity has supported the organization.

　　2、

　　Weak: The biscuits were stacked on a plate.

　　Better: Mother stacked the biscuits on a plate.

　　四、防止使用语意冗长累赘的词语。例如：

　　1、

　　Wordy: My little sister has a preference for chocolate milk.

　　Improved: My little sister prefers chocolate milk.

　　2、

　　Wordy: We are in receipt of your letter and intend to follow your recommendations.

　　Improved: We have received your letter and intended to follow your recommendation.

　　3、

　　Redundant⁵: We had a serious crisis at school yesterday when our chemistry laboratory caught fire.

　　Improved: We had a crisis at school yesterday when our chemistry laboratory caught fire.

　　4、

　　Redundant: My sister and I bought the same, identical dress in different stores.

　　Improved: My sister and I bought the same dress in different stores.

　　五、杜绝滥用陈旧词语或难懂的专业术语。例如：

　　1、

　　Weak: They will not agree to his proposals in any shape or form.

　　Improved: They will not agree to any of his proposals.

　　2、

　　Weak: I need her financial input⁶ before I can guesstimate our expenditures⁷ next fall.

　　Improved: I need her financial figures before I can estimate our expenditures next fall.

1 elimination   

n.排除，消除，消灭

参考例句：

• Their elimination from the competition was a great surprise.他们在比赛中遭到淘汰是个很大的意外。
• I was eliminated from the 400 metres in the semi-finals.我在400米半决赛中被淘汰。

2 tardiness   

n.缓慢；迟延；拖拉

参考例句：

• Her teacher gave her extra homework because of her tardiness. 由于她的迟到，老师给她布置了额外的家庭作业。 来自辞典例句
• Someone said that tardiness is the subtlest form of selflove and conceit. 有人说迟到是自私和自负的最微妙的表现形式。 来自辞典例句

3 promotion   

n.提升，晋级；促销，宣传

参考例句：

• The teacher conferred with the principal about Dick's promotion.教师与校长商谈了迪克的升级问题。
• The clerk was given a promotion and an increase in salary.那个职员升了级，加了薪。

4 supervisor   

n.监督人，管理人，检查员，督学，主管，导师

参考例句：

• Between you and me I think that new supervisor is a twit.我们私下说，我认为新来的主管人是一个傻瓜。
• He said I was too flighty to be a good supervisor.他说我太轻浮不能成为一名好的管理员。

5 redundant   

adj.多余的，过剩的；(食物)丰富的；被解雇的

参考例句：

• There are too many redundant words in this book.这本书里多余的词太多。
• Nearly all the redundant worker have been absorbed into other departments.几乎所有冗员，都已调往其他部门任职。

6 input   

n.输入(物)；投入；vt.把(数据等)输入计算机

参考例句：

• I will forever be grateful for his considerable input.我将永远感激他的大量投入。
• All this information had to be input onto the computer.所有这些信息都必须输入计算机。

7 expenditures   

n.花费( expenditure的名词复数 )；使用；（尤指金钱的）支出额；（精力、时间、材料等的）耗费

参考例句：

• We have overspent.We'll have to let up our expenditures next month. 我们已经超支了，下个月一定得节约开支。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The pension includes an allowance of fifty pounds for traffic expenditures. 年金中包括50镑交通费补贴。 来自《简明英汉词典》