"剩族"自嘲:单身特有五种幸福

 Step 1: Sleep 睡觉Sleep is a beautiful thing. When you're single, no one's nagging¹ at you to get up or counting the hours that you've spent in bed. You are left in peace with your box fan and body pillow. Sleep all day guilt-free!

睡觉是一件美妙的事情。当你单身时，没有人会催促你起床或责怪你在床上睡了多长时间。你拥有的只是转页扇和靠枕。所以即使你呼呼大睡一天也毫无内疚感。

Step 2: Money 钱When you're single, there's no joint² account. You can do whatever you want with your money. There's none of that "what's yours is mine, what's mine is yours" foolishness. No household budget. Go ahead and buy that hideous³, life-size statue of Wayne Newton. Put it in the middle of the living room. No one is the boss of you!

当你单身时，不存在共同账户。你可以买你想要的任何东西。像“你的就是我的，我的就是你的”之类的愚蠢的观点完全不存在。你也不必担心家庭收支。你想买那个真人大小的雷人韦恩牛顿雕像就去买吧。把它放在起居室的中间。没人可以管你!

Step 3: Career 工作Work all night, all weekend if you want to. Then socialize with the boss until 2:00AM or later. Your married co-workers can't compete. They've got "commitments". You win by default! And when that headhunter calls, there's no one holding you back. Pack up and move wherever the fattest paycheck is waiting.

只要你愿意，你可以整夜整星期的工作。或者和老板应酬到凌晨2点甚至更晚。你那些结婚的同事在这方面比不过你。因为他们肩负着“承诺”。你因对方弃权而轻松获胜。当有猎头看中你时，也没有人可以拖住你。整理行装，去任何一个薪水更多的公司吧。

Step 4: Rejection⁴ 拒绝When you're single, rejection is your friend. If you're on a bad date, make up some excuse and get the heck out of there. You don't have to ever see her again.

当你单身时，拒绝是你的朋友。如果你的约会很糟糕，那就编造一些理由闪人吧。你不必再和他(她)见面。

Step 5: Amuse Yourself 自娱自乐Host a poker⁵ tournament complete with back up dancers. See how much laundry you can fit into the washer. Create a new dish out of the few things you have left in the cupboard and eat it in the middle of the night. Become a pro⁶ at belching⁷ the alphabet. The possibilities are endless.

举办一个锦标赛，并且有跳舞的拉拉队。看看你有多少要洗的衣服。把碗里吃剩的菜创新出一道新菜肴，顺便在午夜时享用它。或者成为一个打嗝高手。各种可能无极限。

1 nagging   

adj.唠叨的，挑剔的；使人不得安宁的v.不断地挑剔或批评（某人）( nag的现在分词 )；不断地烦扰或伤害（某人）；无休止地抱怨；不断指责

参考例句：

• Stop nagging—I'll do it as soon as I can. 别唠叨了—我会尽快做的。
• I've got a nagging pain in my lower back. 我后背下方老是疼。 来自《简明英汉词典》

2 joint   

adj.联合的，共同的；n.关节，接合处；v.连接，贴合

参考例句：

• I had a bad fall,which put my shoulder out of joint.我重重地摔了一跤，肩膀脫臼了。
• We wrote a letter in joint names.我们联名写了封信。

3 hideous   

adj.丑陋的，可憎的，可怕的，恐怖的

参考例句：

• The whole experience had been like some hideous nightmare.整个经历就像一场可怕的噩梦。
• They're not like dogs,they're hideous brutes.它们不像狗，是丑陋的畜牲。

4 rejection   

n.拒绝，被拒，抛弃，被弃

参考例句：

• He decided not to approach her for fear of rejection.他因怕遭拒绝决定不再去找她。
• The rejection plunged her into the dark depths of despair.遭到拒绝使她陷入了绝望的深渊。

5 poker   

n.扑克；vt.烙制

参考例句：

• He was cleared out in the poker game.他打扑克牌，把钱都输光了。
• I'm old enough to play poker and do something with it.我打扑克是老手了，可以玩些花样。

6 pro   

n.赞成，赞成的意见，赞成者

参考例句：

• The two debating teams argued the question pro and con.辩论的两组从赞成与反对两方面辩这一问题。
• Are you pro or con nuclear disarmament?你是赞成还是反对核裁军？

7 belching   

n. 喷出，打嗝 动词belch的现在分词形式

参考例句：

• The Tartars employed another weapon, the so-called Chinese dragon belching fire. 鞑靼人使用了另一种武器，所谓中国龙喷火器。
• Billows of smoke were belching from the chimney. 巨浪似的烟正从烟囱里喷出来。