婚姻、爱和自由

 　　You are asking, Priya: "Is it possible to be married and to be free?"

　　普利亚，你问：“结婚后还保持自由,可能吗?”

　　If you take marriage non-seriously, then you can be free. If you take it seriously, then freedom is impossible. Take marriage just as a game -- it is a game. Have a little sense of humor, that it is a role you are playing on the stage of life; but it is not something that belongs to existence or has any reality -- it is a fiction.

　　轻松地看待婚姻，自由是可能的;严肃地看待婚姻，自由绝不可能。把婚姻就看作游戏——它是个游戏。多一点幽默感，它只是你在人生舞台上扮演的一个角色;并不属于存在，也没有真实性——它是个虚构。

　　But people are so stupid that they even start taking fiction for reality. I have seen people reading fiction with tears in their eyes, because in the fiction things are going so tragically¹. It is a very good device in the movies that they put the lights off, so everybody can enjoy the movie, laugh, cry, be sad, be happy. If there was light it would be a little difficult -- what will others think? And they know perfectly² well that the screen is empty -- there is nobody; it is just a projected picture. But they forget it completely.

　　但人们如此愚蠢，居然把虚构当作现实。我看见，人们读小说，悲惨的故事让他们流泪。播放电影时，把灯关掉，这样做很好，因此每个人能享受这部电影，欢笑、哭泣、伤心、快乐。如果灯开着，这就有点难——如果表露情绪，别人会怎么想?他们知道得很清楚，屏幕空无一物——没有人，只是投影的图像。但他们完全忘了这个事实。

　　And the same has happened with our lives. Many things which are simply to be taken humorously, we take so seriously -- and from that seriousness begins our problem.

　　我们的生活里，也发生同样的事。很多事情，只须幽默看待，我们却那么严肃——结果问题纷至沓来。

　　In the first place, why should you get married? You love someone, live with someone -- it is part of your basic rights. You can live with someone, you can love someone.

　　首先，你为什么要结婚呢?你爱某人，与某人一起生活——这都是你的基本权利。你能与某人一起生活，你能爱某人。

　　Marriage is not something that happens in heaven, it happens here, through the crafty³ priests. But if you want to join the game with society and don‘t want to stand alone and aloof⁴, you make it clear to your wife or to your husband that this marriage is just a game: "Never take it seriously. I will remain as independent as I was before marriage, and you will remain as independent as you were before marriage. Neither I am going to interfere⁵ in your life, nor are you going to interfere in my life; we will live as two friends together, sharing our joys, sharing our freedom -- but not becoming a burden on each other. And any moment we feel that the spring has passed, the honeymoon⁶ is over, we will be sincere enough not to go on pretending, but to say to each other that we loved much -- and we will remain grateful to each other forever, and the days of love will haunt us in our memories, in our dreams, as golden -- but the spring is over. Our paths have come to a point, where although it is sad, we have to part, because now, living together is not a sign of love. If I love you, I will leave you the moment I see my love has become a misery⁷ to you. If you love me, you will leave me the moment you see that your love is creating an imprisonment⁹ for me."

　　天堂里没有婚姻，只在尘世，通过牧师的狡诈而存在。但是，如果你不想超然独立，而想参与这个社会游戏，那么你就要让你的妻子或丈夫弄清楚，婚姻仅仅是个游戏：“别把婚姻看得那么严肃。婚姻中，我将保持独立性，与婚前一样，你也是如此。你不妨碍我的生活，我也不妨碍你的生活;我们生活在一起，像两个好朋友，分享喜悦，分享自由——但绝不成为对方的负担。任何时刻，感觉到春天消失和蜜月结束，我们将足够真诚，绝不伪装，而告诉对方：我们曾非常相爱——我们将对此永远保持感激，那些充满爱的时光，萦绕在我们的记忆和梦里，如黄金般宝贵——但现在春天结束了。我们已走到那个点，尽管令人伤心，但我们必须分开，因为现在，共同生活不再是爱的象征。如果我真的爱你，当看见我的爱让你痛苦时，我将离开你;如果你真的爱我，当你看见你的爱禁锢我时，你将离开我。”

　　Love is the highest value in life: It should not be reduced to stupid rituals. And love and freedom go together -- you cannot choose one and leave the other. A man who knows freedom is full of love, and a man who knows love is always willing to give freedom. If you cannot give freedom to the person you love, to whom can you give freedom? Giving freedom is nothing but trusting. Freedom is an expression of love.

　　爱是生命的最高价值：它不该蜕化为愚蠢的仪式。爱和自由在一起——不能做选择。知道自由的人充满了爱，知道爱的人总会给予自由。如果你不能给你所爱的人自由，那你又能把自由给谁呢?给予自由不是别的，就是信任。自由就是爱的表达。

　　So whether you are married or not, remember, all marriages are fake -- just social conveniences. Their purpose is not to imprison⁸ you and bind¹⁰ you to each other; their purpose is to help you to grow with each other. But growth needs freedom; and in the past, all the cultures have forgotten that without freedom, love dies.

　　所以无论你是否结婚，记住，一切婚姻都是捏造品——仅仅为了社会的方便。婚姻的意图，不是让你们彼此囚禁和束缚，而是让你们彼此帮助，共同成长。但成长需要自由;在过去，所有文化都遗忘了：没有自由，爱就消失。

　　You see a bird on the wing in the sun, in the sky, and it looks so beautiful. Attracted by its beauty, you can catch the bird and put it in a golden cage. Do you think it is the same bird? Superficially, yes, it is the same bird who was flying in the sky; but deep down it is not the same bird -- because where is its sky, where is its freedom?

　　你看见一只鸟，在阳光灿烂的天空中飞翔，多么美!它的美吸引着你，你能捉住它，把它放进金鸟笼里。你认为它还是原来那只鸟吗?表面上，它还是那只在天空中飞翔的鸟，但是，在深处它已经不是原来那只鸟——因为，没有它的天空，哪来它的自由?

　　This golden cage may be valuable to you; it is not valuable to the bird. For the bird, to be free in the sky is the only valuable thing in life. And the same is true about human beings.

　　这个金鸟笼，对你而言，也许有价值;对鸟而言，毫无价值。在鸟看来，空中的自由飞翔，才是它生命中唯一的价值。对于人类，也是同样的道理。

1 tragically   

adv. 悲剧地，悲惨地

参考例句：

• Their daughter was tragically killed in a road accident. 他们的女儿不幸死于车祸。
• Her father died tragically in a car crash. 她父亲在一场车祸中惨死。

2 perfectly   

adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The witnesses were each perfectly certain of what they said.证人们个个对自己所说的话十分肯定。
• Everything that we're doing is all perfectly above board.我们做的每件事情都是光明正大的。

3 crafty   

adj.狡猾的，诡诈的

参考例句：

• He admired the old man for his crafty plan.他敬佩老者的神机妙算。
• He was an accomplished politician and a crafty autocrat.他是个有造诣的政治家，也是个狡黠的独裁者。

4 aloof   

adj.远离的；冷淡的，漠不关心的

参考例句：

• Never stand aloof from the masses.千万不可脱离群众。
• On the evening the girl kept herself timidly aloof from the crowd.这小女孩在晚会上一直胆怯地远离人群。

5 interfere   

v.(in)干涉，干预；(with)妨碍，打扰

参考例句：

• If we interfere, it may do more harm than good.如果我们干预的话，可能弊多利少。
• When others interfere in the affair,it always makes troubles. 别人一卷入这一事件，棘手的事情就来了。

6 honeymoon   

n.蜜月（假期）；vi.度蜜月

参考例句：

• While on honeymoon in Bali,she learned to scuba dive.她在巴厘岛度蜜月时学会了带水肺潜水。
• The happy pair are leaving for their honeymoon.这幸福的一对就要去度蜜月了。

7 misery   

n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦

参考例句：

• Business depression usually causes misery among the working class.商业不景气常使工薪阶层受苦。
• He has rescued me from the mire of misery.他把我从苦海里救了出来。

8 imprison   

vt.监禁，关押，限制，束缚

参考例句：

• The effect of this one is going to imprison you for life.而这件事的影响力则会让你被终身监禁。
• Dutch colonial authorities imprisoned him for his part in the independence movement.荷兰殖民当局因他参加独立运动而把他关押了起来。

9 imprisonment   

n.关押，监禁，坐牢

参考例句：

• His sentence was commuted from death to life imprisonment.他的判决由死刑减为无期徒刑。
• He was sentenced to one year's imprisonment for committing bigamy.他因为犯重婚罪被判入狱一年。

10 bind   

vt.捆，包扎；装订；约束；使凝固；vi.变硬

参考例句：

• I will let the waiter bind up the parcel for you.我让服务生帮你把包裹包起来。
• He wants a shirt that does not bind him.他要一件不使他觉得过紧的衬衫。