第一次约会不必太紧张

 　　Dating, as most humans who engage in it have no doubt observed, can be a major source of stress -- especially first dates. You can waste a shocking amount of time worrying about your outfit¹, where you'll meet up, when you'll meet up and whether or not the date will go well. Here are eight reasons not to stress about the first date:

　　大多数约过会的人想必已经留意到，约会也是压力的一大来源，尤其是第一次约会。你会浪费大量的时间在担心你的穿着、见面地点、见面时间，以及约会是否顺利。这是关于初次约会不必紧张的8个理由。

　　1. You get to judge, too.

　　1. 你也会评价对方。

　　It's very easy to waste a whole lot of time worrying about whether the person you're going on a date with will like you. But your precious hours are probably better spent thinking about whether you like your date. As Tom Hanks' character tells his fictional² son in "Sleepless³ In Seattle", "This is what single people do. They try other people on and see how they fit." Spend your first date evaluating whether the person sitting across from you seems like a well-tailored suit or more like a ill-fitting item that's better left on the rack.

　　你会很容易把时间浪费在担忧“与你约会的人会不会喜欢你”这个问题上。但约会前的几小时可以更为有用，比如想想你会不会喜欢上你的约会对象。就像汤姆-汉克斯在电影《西雅图夜未眠》中饰演的角色对儿子说，“这就是单身人士做的事。他们约会对方，看看对方适不适合自己。” 初次约会时评价一下坐在你对面的那个人，看他是品行端庄的人还是邋遢不堪的人。

　　2. There's no need to be elaborate.

　　2. 没有必要精心安排。

　　The focus of your first meet-up is getting a feel for the other person. That means that lighthearted conversation is paramount⁴ -- not a super creative plan that involves multiple stops, top-tier restaurants and hipster underground bars. Just pick a coffee shop/bar/restaurant where you feel comfortable ... or make it really easy on yourself and make your date choose.

　　第一次见面的重点是试试对对方有没有感觉。这意味着轻松愉悦的谈话是最重要的，而不是一个富有创意的安排，比如去好几个地方、去顶级餐厅和地下酒吧等等。只要选一家你感觉舒服的咖啡店或酒吧或餐厅就可以，或者由你的约会对象和你自己随意做决定。

　　3. People are open to a lot of different date venues⁵.

　　3. 人们对约会场所表示很随意。

　　Judging from a new infographic from dating site HowAboutWe.com, Americans are open to a wide variety of dating activities. If you feel like eating frozen yogurt, seeing an art exhibit, going bowling⁶ or drinking a glass of wine, chances are that your date will be into it too.

　　据来自交友网站HowAboutWe.com的信息图表分析，美国人对各式约会活动很随意。如果你喜欢喝冻酸奶、看展出、打保龄球、还是喝杯酒，你的约会对象说不定也很喜欢这些。

　　4. You don't have much to lose.

　　4. 你没什么好损失的。

　　You don't know the person well yet, so you probably aren't all that invested in them romantically. No matter how badly it goes, you'll get over it fairly quickly. That's the true beauty of a first date.

　　你还不是很了解这个人，所以你可能不会全身心地去营造浪漫情调。无论进展有多坏，你都可以很快平复过来。这是初次约会的真正魅力所在。

　　5. You can keep it short.

　　5. 要精简。

　　If you plan something casual, it'll be over in approximately the same amount of time it takes you to watch two episodes of "Girls."

　　如果你有临时安排，请控制一下时间，比如差不多看两集HBO喜剧《衰姐们》的时间—差不多是1个小时吧。

　　6. If it goes really badly, it'll be a good story.

　　6. 如果约会进展不顺，那这段经历将是一个好故事。

　　Some of the most entertaining conversations you can have with friends revolve⁷ around dating horror stories. Whether you're recounting the story of the dude who casually⁸ mentioned that there was a rapist who hadn't been caught in his neighborhood, or the tale of the girl who wouldn't stop talking about her 10 cats, those hours of awkwardness are sure to elicit⁹ laughs for years to come. If your first date goes completely awry¹⁰, at least you have fresh material for your next friend dinner.

　　你和朋友间一些有趣的谈话可以围绕着你的恐怖约会故事展开了。不管你是在叙述一个家伙随口就说起了在他的小区里有个没有被抓走的强奸犯的故事，还是描述一个一刻不停地谈论她的10只小猫的女孩，这些故事绝对可以成为好几年的笑料。如果你的初次约会真心不顺利，至少在下次和朋友吃饭时，你有了新鲜谈资。

　　7. It's nearly impossible to run out of things to talk about.

　　7. 不可能没话可说。

　　The first date covers all of your basics, which means that there are a lot of things to discuss: jobs, families, hometowns, hobbies, living situations ... the list goes on.

　　初次约会可以谈及你们所有的基本信息，也就是说可以讨论很多话题：家庭、家乡、爱好、生活状况等等。

　　8. It's (mostly) out of your hands, so why bother worrying?

　　8. 成事在天，为何要担忧？

　　At the end of the day, all you can really control is how you behave. Maybe you'll meet the love of your life and maybe you won't. Whether or not the two of you click is largely a matter of luck, so just be genuine, try to have fun and then move on afterward¹¹. Breathe and remember -- it's only one date.

　　在一天的结束，所有你能控制的就是你的举止。也许你将遇见你生命中的挚爱，也许你没遇见。不管有没有，在很大程度说相遇是一种缘分，因而要真心实意，玩得开心，继续寻找。深呼吸一次，记住：这只是一次约会。

1 outfit   

n.（为特殊用途的）全套装备，全套服装

参考例句：

• Jenney bought a new outfit for her daughter's wedding.珍妮为参加女儿的婚礼买了一套新装。
• His father bought a ski outfit for him on his birthday.他父亲在他生日那天给他买了一套滑雪用具。

2 fictional   

adj.小说的，虚构的

参考例句：

• The names of the shops are entirely fictional.那些商店的名字完全是虚构的。
• The two authors represent the opposite poles of fictional genius.这两位作者代表了天才小说家两个极端。

3 sleepless   

adj.不睡眠的，睡不著的，不休息的

参考例句：

• The situation gave her many sleepless nights.这种情况害她一连好多天睡不好觉。
• One evening I heard a tale that rendered me sleepless for nights.一天晚上，我听说了一个传闻，把我搞得一连几夜都不能入睡。

4 paramount   

a.最重要的，最高权力的

参考例句：

• My paramount object is to save the Union and destroy slavery.我的最高目标是拯救美国，摧毁奴隶制度。
• Nitrogen is of paramount importance to life on earth.氮对地球上的生命至关重要。

5 venues   

n.聚集地点( venue的名词复数 )；会场；（尤指）体育比赛场所；犯罪地点

参考例句：

• The band will be playing at 20 different venues on their UK tour. 这个乐队在英国巡回演出期间将在20个不同的地点演出。
• Farmers market corner, 800 meters long, 60 meters wide livestock trading venues. 农牧市场东北角，有长800米，宽60米的牲畜交易场地。 来自互联网

6 bowling   

n.保龄球运动

参考例句：

• Bowling is a popular sport with young and old.保龄球是老少都爱的运动。
• Which sport do you 1ike most,golf or bowling?你最喜欢什么运动，高尔夫还是保龄球？

7 revolve   

vi.(使)旋转；循环出现

参考例句：

• The planets revolve around the sun.行星绕着太阳运转。
• The wheels began to revolve slowly.车轮开始慢慢转动。

8 casually   

adv.漠不关心地，无动于衷地，不负责任地

参考例句：

• She remarked casually that she was changing her job.她当时漫不经心地说要换工作。
• I casually mentioned that I might be interested in working abroad.我不经意地提到我可能会对出国工作感兴趣。

9 elicit   

v.引出,抽出,引起

参考例句：

• It was designed to elicit the best thinking within the government. 机构的设置是为了在政府内部集思广益。
• Don't try to elicit business secrets from me. I won't tell you anything. 你休想从我这里套问出我们的商业机密, 我什么都不会告诉你的。

10 awry   

adj.扭曲的，错的

参考例句：

• She was in a fury over a plan that had gone awry. 计划出了问题，她很愤怒。
• Something has gone awry in our plans.我们的计划出差错了。

11 afterward   

adv.后来；以后

参考例句：

• Let's go to the theatre first and eat afterward. 让我们先去看戏，然后吃饭。
• Afterward,the boy became a very famous artist.后来，这男孩成为一个很有名的艺术家。