神吐槽西方人的20大迷信

　　The number 13. 数字“13”

　　It’s just a number. Yet, people tweak on Friday the 13th. Many airports don’t have a gate #13. (Like the folks at 12A won’t figure it out。) Many hotels don’t have a floor #13.这只是个数字。但是，每逢13号的礼拜五，人们普遍都会焦虑。很多机场没有13号登机口(好吧，你们真的以为12A登机口的乘客们不会发觉吗?)很多宾馆也没有13楼。

　　I was always told that the superstition¹ is based on the idea that Judas, the bad disciple², was the 13th man to sit down to the table at The Last Supper. I think a more rational superstition would be to fear bad disciples³。人们告诉我，这个关于数字13的迷信来自叛徒犹大。他是那个坏信徒，是那个在“最后的晚餐”中第13个坐下的人。我觉得与其迷信13， 不如迷信“坏信徒会带来厄运”，这样更理智些。

　　02第二条：

　　An acorn⁴ at the window will keep lightning out。在窗边挂一只橡果可以防止被闪电击中。

　　That is some acorn. 唔…真是神奇的橡果啊。

　　03第三条：

　　Spit on a new bat before using it for the first time to make it lucky. 在新球棒上吐口口水，可以保持好运。

　　Gross. Gross. Gross. In the spring of 2009, in fear of the Swine Flu, high schools all over the country forbade their athletes from shaking hands after the game. Pretty sure “not spitting on the bat” was implied. 好恶心，好恶心，好恶心!在09年春，由于害怕猪流感的传播，全美的高中禁止运动员们在赛后握手。我很肯定他们也同样禁止了往球棒上吐口水这事儿。

　　And speaking in terms of basic physics, having a lubricated bat makes for less friction⁵, and therefore, slippery balls … okay, now I’m just out of control. 此外，从基本物理学的角度来讲，一个被口水润滑过的球棒的摩擦力更小，因此击球打滑的几率更大了…好吧，我真是精神病人思维广啊。

　　04 第四条：

　　In order to write this article, I had to get a Ph.D. in butterflies… 为了写这篇文章，我得先去拿个蝴蝶研究的博士学位：

　　The early appearance of butterflies indicates fair weather. 蝴蝶出现得比以往早，预示着天气不错。

　　If the first butterfly is yellow, it will be sunny weather. 如果第一只蝴蝶是黄色的，那会是晴天。

　　If the first butterfly is white, it will be rainy summer。如果第一只蝴蝶是白色的，那会是雨天。

　　If the first butterfly is white, someone will die。如果第一只蝴蝶是白色的，会有人去世。

　　If the first butterfly is red, you will be healthy。如果第一只蝴蝶是红色的，你会很健康。

　　If a white butterfly comes, summer follows. 如果飞来了一只白蝴蝶，预示着夏天来了。

　　If a white butterfly flies from the southwest, expect rain。如果一只白蝴蝶从西南方向飞来，那就要下雨了。

　　If butterflies are found hanging from the underside of rails or branches, it’s going to rain。如果蝴蝶在围栏或树枝的下方飞舞，预示着快下雨了。

　　If they are on the top of small branches, it will not rain。如果发现它们在小树枝上方，说明不会下雨。

　　If the first butterfly is dark, it means thunderstorms。如果第一只蝴蝶是深色的，雷雨很快要来了。

　　If the first butterfly is yellow, someone is going to give birth。如果第一只蝴蝶是黄色的，有人快生孩子了。

　　If a white butterfly enters your house and flies around you, you will die. 如果一只白蝴蝶进了家里，绕着你不停飞，你将要死去。

　　If a moth⁶ lands on the mother of a newborn, the baby will die. 如果一只蛾子落在新生儿的母亲身上，这个小孩很快便会死去。

　　If a butterfly flies into your house, someone you know will die。如果一只蝴蝶飞进你家，你认识的某人将要死去。

　　If a butterfly flies into your house, someone will get married. 如果一只蝴蝶飞进你家，说明某人要结婚了。

　　If you capture a butterfly, you will be struck dead。如果你抓住了一只蝴蝶，你会被车撞死。

　　If you see a butterfly at night, you will die。如果你在夜晚见到蝴蝶，便将会死去。

　　There! Simple, right?呼，写完了!很“通俗易懂”吧，嗯?

　　05第五条：

　　A cat onboard a ship is considered to bring luck。如果船上有猫，预示着会有好运。

　　I used to live on a ship. A cat would have been a real drag. All of those spaces to hide in, poop in, pee in? All of that machinery⁷ to get torn to pieces in? And who exactly would have been in charge of cleaning the litter boxes? Litter boxes are never lucky。我曾经在船上住过。猫绝对是个累赘。船上的角角落落都是它藏身、大小便的地方;甚至连机械装置都被破坏成了一片片的。有谁会愿意负责清理那些垃圾桶?垃圾桶可不是什么吉祥玩意儿。

　　06第六条：

　　If three people are photographed together, the one in the middle will die first。如果三个人一起拍照，中间的那个会最先死掉。

　　I can’t rationalize it, but this one just gives me the shivers。我不知道它是真是假，但这条让我毛骨悚然。

　　07 第七条：

　　If you stick your hands in your pocket while walking past a graveyard⁸, it will protect your parents。经过墓地的时候，如果你把双手插在兜里，便能保护你的父母。

　　Makes me wonder what happens if I turn my pockets inside out. Or, take off my pants and wave my arms around. 我不禁好奇：假如我把里兜翻出来会发生什么?或者，假如我脱掉裤子摇摇手臂，又会发生些啥?

　　08 第八条：

　　Never take a broom along when you move. It is bad luck. Throw it out and buy a new one。搬家的时候不要带走扫帚，它会带来厄运。把它扔了，买个新的。

　　Isn’t that common sense? A used broom is kind of a nasty thing to box up with the linens⁹. Like packing up used trash cans. A new broom costs like two dollars。这不是常识吗?用过的扫帚很脏，没法跟亚麻制品放一起啊。这就跟打包带走用过的垃圾桶一样好笑。再说，一把新扫帚只需要两美元。

　　09 第九条：

　　If a candle blows out, evil spirits are nearby。如果蜡烛熄灭，说明附近有邪恶灵魂。

　　Or, there’s a draft. 或者也可能只是有阵风。

　　10 第十条：

　　It is bad luck to light three cigarettes with the same match. 用一根火柴点燃3根香烟，会带来厄运。

　　Yeah it is. And that bad luck is called cancer. 嗯没错。这个厄运的名字叫“癌症”。

　　11 第十一条：

　　Evil spirits can’t harm you when you stand inside a circle. 当你站在一个圈内，邪恶的灵魂便伤害不到你。

　　Oh, that explains all those people walking up and down the street wearing hula hoops¹⁰。

　　哦，难怪有些人会戴着呼啦圈在街上走来走去啊!

　　12 第十二条：

　　It’s bad luck to pick up a coin if it’s tails side up. Good luck comes if it’s heads up。如果捡起的硬币反面朝上，则会带来厄运;正面朝上会带来好运。

　　In this economy, a little bad luck is worth the nickel. 在当前经济形势下，就算会带来厄运我也不会放过地上那个硬币的。

　　13 – oops, should I have called this one #12A? 第十三条：

　　呃，我是不是该命名它为第12A条?

　　A cricket in the house brings good luck. 家里发现蟋蟀，会有好运。

　　It will also bring cricket poop。也会有蟋蟀粪便啊亲。

　　14第十四条：

　　If the palm of your right hand itches¹¹, it means you will soon be getting money. If the palm of your left hand itches, it means you will soon be paying out money. 假如你右手掌发痒，说明很快就能获得一笔钱;假如你左手掌痒，说明你很快要付出去一笔钱。

　　If the palm of either of your hands is itching¹², you might want to get that checked。假如你两只手都痒，那我建议你还是去医院检查一下吧。

　　15第十五条：

　　A knife as a gift from a lover means that the love will soon end。如果爱人送了一把小刀作为礼物，说明爱情很快会结束。

　　Who gives their lover a knife for a gift? What happened to roses or chocolate? Creepy!谁会送自己爱人一把刀啊!送玫瑰送巧克力不都行嘛?真是有毛病啊!

　　and 还有：

　　A knife placed under the bed during childbirth will ease the pain of labor¹³. 分娩的时候，在枕头下放把刀能减轻分娩疼痛。

　　If I were the impregnator, I would be very nervous。如果我是那个孕妇，我会更紧张的。

　　16 第十六条：

　　Salty soup is a sign that the cook is in love。汤太咸，说明那个厨子恋爱了。

　　Check the sodium¹⁴ content on any can in any grocery store and feel good about how much love there is in the world。随便走进一家百货店，随便拿起一个罐头看看它的盐分含量吧。你会发现世界简直充满了爱了!

　　17 第十七条：

　　Three seagulls flying together, directly overhead, are a warning of death soon to come. 如果三只海鸥一起从你头上直直飞过，预示着死亡很快会降临。

　　Or poop on your head。也预示着你头顶会有一泡屎。

　　18第十八条：

　　Place a hand in front of your mouth when sneezing so that your soul cannot escape。

　　打喷嚏的时候，用手捂住你的嘴，可以防止灵魂外逃。

　　Now they tell us to sneeze into our armpits. I’ve got to feel sorry for any soul that gets sneezed into an armpit。现在他们又叫我们往胳肢窝里打喷嚏了。我真为那些被喷进胳肢窝的灵魂感到惋惜。

　　19 第十九条：

　　The number of Xs in the palm of your right hand is the number of children you will have。右手掌有几个“X”，预示着你会有几个孩子。

　　I counted. I will have 47 children。我数了一下。嗯， 我会有47个孩子。

　　20第二十条：

　　A new bride must be carried over the threshold because it’s bad luck if she falls。新娘必须被抱着进入洞房，因为要是她摔跤了，那可就大难临头了。

　　I always thought it was because she was hammered from the reception。呃，我一直以为这是因为新娘之前喝太多了，才被抱进去的。

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