A friend of mine recently decided to quit her job and stay home with her two kids, who are almost 1- and 4-years-old. It wasn't a decision she made lightly.
First off, the family relied on her income- even though much of it went to pay the nanny, the money made things like trips to see family and eating out an easy possibility. Second, she'd worked for the same company for more than a decade and felt loyal to her boss, a mentor who had helped her advance and who also let her work from home a few days a week.
But she says she'd felt the pull to stay home and her heart wasn't in the work anymore. It felt wasteful to spend so much on a nanny for a career she no longer loved. So she and her husband went over their finances and decided that if they dipped into their savings and cut back their spending, they could pay off much of their debt and live on one income-even if it would be tight. She starts her new life as a stay-at-home mother next week.
She's nervous about the decision, of course, and wonders if she'll go bonkers at home or miss having an office. She also is nervous that this will this change the balance of power in her marriage. Still, she's pretty stalwart in her decision and quite excited.
I've quizzed her incessantly about the why and how of her decision. In part, I think, because since becoming a mother I've fantasized about quitting from time to time. A few years ago I even wrote a post here about the sort of last-straw day that gets me into a 'chuck it all' mood.
According to a recent white paper published by Ad Age on working women, almost 65% of working women said they would rather stay home with their families full-time if it were financially possible. I don't fall in with the majority.
It's not just financial need that keeps me at work; more significant is my work as a journalist. When I do think of quitting, it's almost never to stay home with my two kids. Instead, I think about pursuing something new or maybe freelancing so I could set my own hours and work on just the things I really like (that's also a fantasy; most freelancers do plenty that is geared to simply paying the bills). But even then, I snap out of it. I thrive on the stimulation of an office and the pace of a newsroom.
Readers, do you fantasize about chucking it all? Is it a possibility?
我的一位朋友，最近决定辞职回家照顾她的两个孩子，一个孩子将近一岁，另一个四岁。这个决定做得并不轻松。
首先，整个家庭要依靠她的收入。虽然有很大一部分收入都拿去给保姆付工资了，但出门走亲访友、下餐馆吃饭还是比较容易的事情。其次，她在同一家公司做了10多年，老板曾帮她取得了事业上的进步，还允许她一个星期有几天在家办公，她对这样一个导师是有忠诚感的。
但我这位朋友说，她感受到了那股留在家里的牵引力，心思早已不在工作上了。把那么多钱花在保姆身上，为的是维持一份不再喜欢的职业，感觉是一种浪费。于是她跟丈夫过了一遍家里的财务情况，结果认定，如果拿出点存款，再减少点开支，他们可以偿还很大一笔账、单靠一份工资维持生活，哪怕这样的日子过得有点紧。下个星期，她就要走进担当全职妈妈的新人生了。
对于这样一个决定，她当然觉得放心不下，想着自己呆在家里会不会疯掉，会不会想念拥有一间办公室的生活。另外一个不放心的地方，是这样做会不会改变婚姻中的权力平衡。不过她这个决定还是做得相当坚定，并且为之相当激动。
我曾不断地盘问她有关这个决定的各种问题。我想这部分地是因为，自从当妈妈以来我一直时不时地幻想着辞职。几年前，我甚至还在这个栏目里写了一篇文章，谈到那种让我几乎无法承受、直想甩手不干的日子。
最近《广告时代》(Ad Age)发布了一份有关职业女性状况的白皮书，其中说，65%的上班女性都说，如果财务状况允许，她们宁愿整天留在家里陪伴家人。但我不属于这个大多数。
让我不辞职的不仅是财务上的需要，更重要的是我作为记者的工作。在我真的考虑辞职时，我想的几乎从来不是要留在家里陪伴两个孩子。相反，我是在想着追求某种新鲜的东西，也有可能是做自由职业，这样可以自己给自己安排时间，只做自己真正喜欢的事情（同样也是幻想，多数自由职业者做的很多事情也不过是为了付账单）。但即使是在这种时候，我也很快放弃了辞职的想法。办公室带来的勃勃生气和编辑部的节奏都让我兴奋不已。
读者们，你们是不是在幻想就此辞职甩手不干呢？有没有可能付诸实施？ |