[00:00.00]Iwaited a day before calling
[00:02.73]Dr. Sam to inform him of
[00:04.26]my decision. I had to be sure!
[00:06.44]“Miriam, I think I know
[00:08.97]why you want to go through
[00:10.27]with this pregnancy, but
[00:11.48]are you aware of the risks?”
[00:12.80]“I know my baby will be
[00:14.65]different. I know she may be
[00:16.30]mentally and physically retarded.
[00:17.93]She may have developmental difficulties
[00:19.80]and problems with social acceptance.
[00:22.09]I do recognize that I am
[00:24.48]going to have to amend
[00:25.69]almost every facet of my life.
[00:27.55]I am prepared to do that.
[00:29.18]This is my final gift
[00:30.93]from Paul and I am determined
[00:33.01]to go through with this!”
[00:34.33]“I thought you would feel
[00:35.75]that way. You have my utmost
[00:37.39]admiration and support. I will
[00:39.58]follow your pregnancy carefully
[00:41.44]but I want you to see
[00:42.65]a specialist in birth defects.
[00:43.96]I will refer you to Dr. Brown
[00:45.70]and would like you to make
[00:47.13]an appointment with her
[00:48.22]as soon as possible,” he said.
[00:49.53]I knew then that I had
[00:51.29]made the right choice.
[00:52.79]My pregnancy was not without
[00:55.20]its hardships, from morning sickness
[00:57.38]to swollen ankles, but I had
[00:59.25]no doubts about the decision
[01:00.77]I had made. My parents, when
[01:02.63]I told them what was going
[01:04.72]on with me, expressed their concerns
[01:06.25]but also their confidence
[01:07.56]in my decision and assured me
[01:09.42]they would be there when
[01:10.51]I delivered my baby.
[01:11.60]Paula was born on a bright,
[01:14.45]cloudless, warm Tuesday morning
[01:16.86]in May. I was prepared to
[01:18.61]see a red, wrinkled, squalling infant.
[01:21.01]Instead, I saw very little.
[01:22.98]Because of the risks involved,
[01:25.28]Paula was delivered by Caesarian section.
[01:28.46]The doctors and nurses rushed her
[01:30.31]into an incubatorto assess her
[01:32.50]before I caught a glimpse of her.
[01:34.25]I could see my parents
[01:35.79]on the other side of
[01:37.20]the operating room window, questions
[01:38.63]in their eyes. What was going on?
[01:40.59]The nurses kept me comfortable
[01:43.66]and tried to alleviate my fears
[01:44.97]but half an hour passed before
[01:47.28]our questions were answered.
[01:48.80]My daughter had a severe heart defect.
[01:51.75]It could be corrected through surgery
[01:54.49]but not until she gained
[01:56.03]a little weight and strength.
[01:57.99]I understood in that moment that
[01:59.85]my life had changed forever.
[02:01.93]I demanded to see her immediately,
[02:03.90]and as soon as I did,
[02:05.66]I fell in love. This most
[02:07.51]precious of all gifts was
[02:08.82]going to survive the obstacles
[02:10.14]ahead of her with my help.
[02:12.22]I knew in an instant that
[02:14.40]all my strength,love, and
[02:16.15]monetary resources were at
[02:17.69]her command. Nothing she wanted,
[02:19.99]needed, or even dreamed
[02:21.51]of, would ever be denied.
[02:23.27]The heart surgery to correct
[02:25.68]a flawed valve was a resounding success.
[02:28.19]Fortunately, the common defects
[02:30.60]occurring in a majority
[02:31.80]of Down's syndrome children
[02:33.00]were absent in Paula. She has
[02:35.30]no intestinal malformations, hearing impairment,
[02:38.37]or severe visual problems.
[02:40.55]We are truly blessed.
[02:42.63]My parents adore this exceptional grandchild.
[02:46.02]Their expertise in teaching, nurturing,
[02:48.65]and parenting has been so welcome.
[02:51.05]I always knew they were there
[02:53.03]for me; now they are there for us.
[02:54.78]I am aware of the sympathetic
[02:57.73]looks from strangers who don't know
[02:59.37]or understand the disorder
[03:00.68]afflicting my child. Their pity,
[03:03.09]for what they ascertain as
[03:04.73]my plight, is misplaced but understandable.
[03:07.69]I am sure that I, too,
[03:09.54]felt sorry for parents of what
[03:11.62]I thought of as imperfect children.
[03:13.81]Paula is a delightful child.
[03:16.22]Her physical defects are apparent;
[03:18.29]there is no doubt she is
[03:19.61]different from other children.
[03:21.03]However, she goes to school
[03:23.00]with other children her age;
[03:24.53]she takes longer to learn things
[03:26.07] and has to work harder,
[03:27.16]but she is achieving all
[03:28.69]the milestones of growing children.
[03:30.77]Raising her is a challenge,
[03:33.28]as is the raising of any child.
[03:35.14]It isn't easy and it won't get easier.
[03:38.10]As she grows and develops,
[03:40.40]there will be questions to answer,
[03:42.25]hurdles to cross, and goals
[03:43.89]to reach. Paula is different.
[03:46.08]She is aware that she is.
[03:47.84]It doesn't dismay her. She greets
[03:50.68]each day with a smile on her
[03:51.99]lips and a sparkle in her eye.
[03:53.42]Do I ever have doubts about
[03:56.37]my decision? No! My only regret
[03:59.10] is that Paul isn't here to
[04:00.64]share my joy in our wonderful daughter.
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