[00:02.94]She doesn’t know that we’re sexually active. 她还不知道我们都开始有性生活了
[00:05.42]I’ve been thinking. 我在想
[00:06.10]What does that even mean? 那又怎么样？
[00:08.42]I was thinking I could, like, have this baby 我是不是可以把这个孩子生下来
[00:11.06]and give it to someone that, like, totally needs it. 给哪个需要的人
[00:13.98]You know, like, a woman with a bum ovary 比如不能生育的
[00:14.54]or a couple nice lesbos. 或者同性恋伴侣
[00:16.46]But then you’re gonna get, like, huge. 可是到时候你的肚子会变大
[00:16.94]And your chest is gonna milktate. 胸部像奶牛一样
[00:19.42]And you’re gonna have to, like… tell people 你不得不告诉别人
[00:22.22]that you’re pregnant. 你怀孕了
[00:23.10]for being so selfless. 这么无私的行为
[00:23.78]Yeah, but maybe they’ll, like, canonize me 对，他们搞不好会崇拜我
[00:25.30]Or maybe they’ll, like, totally shit 但他们也很可能非常生气
[00:27.46]and be really, really mad and not let you graduate 真得很可能，不让你毕业
[00:30.54]I was gonna go to Gettysburg with Bleeker anyway. 我要和布里克去盖茨堡
[00:31.34]or go to Cabo for spring break. 或者春假的时候不让你去墨西哥
[00:35.82]You should look at adoption ads. 你应该看看领养广告
[00:37.70]I see them all the time in the PennySaver. 我在免费传单里经常看到
[00:40.22]They have ads for parents? 他们还做这种广告？
[00:41.78]Yeah. 对
[00:44.26]"Desperately seeking spawn" “跪求领养”
[00:47.38]right next to, like, terriers 通常在小狗啊蜥蜴啊
[00:48.34]and iguanas and used fitness equipment and stuff. 或者二手健身器材广告的边上
[00:50.22]It’s… it’s, like, totally legit. 它是… 完全合法的！
[00:55.90]Mm. "Wholesome, spiritually wealthy couple 健康幸福的夫妻…
[00:58.06]have found true love with each other." Aw. 彼此已经找到真爱，哇
[01:02.46]All that’s missing is your bastard. 他们缺的就是你肚子里这孩子
[01:04.06]Juno, you’re totally not even listening to me. 朱诺，你没在听我说话
[01:04.18]I want a parakeet. 我要只小鹦鹉
[01:06.06]No, I heard you. 不，我在听
[01:08.26]I just, like, I don’t want to give the baby 我不想把孩子给一家庭
[01:11.22]to a family that describes themselves as "wholesome." 会形容自己“健康”
[01:11.50]I just want someone a little more edgier. 我想要些更特别的
[01:12.82]-Why? -Well, I don’t know, -为什么？ -不知道
[01:14.10]Okay, what did you have in mind exactly? 你到底想要什么？
[01:16.66]I was thinking more like… graphic designer, mid-30s, 我在想… 比如30多岁，搞美术的
[01:20.26]you know, with a cool Asian girlfriend who, like, 有个很美的亚裔女友
[01:22.26]dresses awesome and rocks out on the bass guitar. 穿着有品位，还会弹电吉他
[01:25.22]But I don’t want to be too particular. 不过也不一定
[01:27.10]Okay. 好吧
[01:28.82]Uh, how about this? 这个怎么样
[01:30.50]"Educated, successful couple seeking 有教养、事业成功的夫妻
[01:33.06]"infant to join our family of five. 希望有孩子成为我们家庭的第六员
[01:34.98]Help us complete the circle of love." “帮助我们圆梦吧”
[01:39.94]They sound like a freakin’ cult is what they sound like. 这听起来真恶心
[01:40.46]-Yeesh -That sounds great. 这听起来不错
[01:42.50]And, besides, they already have three kids. 而且，他们已经有三个孩子了
[01:44.70]You know, they’re just like greedy little bitches. 多贪心的混蛋啊
[01:46.18]Ooh, Juno. 哦，朱诺
[01:47.58]How about this one? 这个怎么样？
[01:50.46]They were Mark and Vanessa Loring, 他们是马克和凡丽莎·洛林
[01:52.54]and they were beautiful even in black and white. 即使是黑白照片，他们也显得那么美
[02:03.26]对着照片打手枪吧（半开玩笑），你最好的朋友－－朱诺
[02:05.86]Hey, Paul, are you coming downstairs to eat? 保罗，下来吃点儿东西？
[02:09.66]Uh, no, I don’t think so. 哦，不了
[02:10.14]You ran eight miles today, puppy. 你今天可跑了8英里
[02:13.02]l-I’m not hungry, oddly. 我不饿
[02:15.22]But it’s breakfast for supper. 今天我做得是早晚混合餐
[02:16.90]Yeah. 对
[02:17.94]It’s your favorite, Paul. 保罗，是你的最爱
[02:19.82]Juno MacGuff called while you were out running today. 你今天跑步的时候，朱诺打电话来过
[02:23.86]You know how I feel about her. 你知道我怎么看她的
[02:24.94]Yeah, yeah, you mentioned it a couple times. 对，你提过很多次
[02:30.22]She’s just… 她只是…
[02:30.82]different. 特别而已
[02:33.94]I know. 我知道
[03:02.34]So I’m not really sure how I’m gonna spit this out. 我不知道我该从哪儿说起
[03:05.90]Hon, did you get expelled? 你被开除了？
[03:08.14]No, the school would most likely contact you 不，如果学校要开除我
[03:09.70]Well, I was just asking. 哦，我只是问问
[03:09.90]in the event of my expulsion. 会先和你们联系的
[03:13.30]What, do you need a large amount of money? 你是不是缺钱？
[03:15.38]I’m not… I’m not asking for anything. 不，不，除了你们的理解
[03:16.46]Legal counsel? 需要律师？
[03:18.14]Except for maybe mercy. 我什么都不要
[03:21.94]Like, it would be friggin’ sweet if no one hit me. 如果你们不打我，那真是千谢万谢了
[03:22.14]Well, what have you done, June bug? 你到底干了什么？
[03:24.34]Did you hit someone with the Previa? 你开车撞人了？
[03:26.30]Dude, I think it’s best to just tell them. 我想你还是快点儿告诉他们吧
[03:26.82]No. 没有
[03:35.62]I’m pregnant. 我怀孕了
[03:37.62]Oh, God. 哦，我的天
[03:39.14]Yeah, but I’m gonna 是的
[03:40.58]And I already found the perfect couple. 我已经找到了一对非常好的夫妻
[03:42.30]give it up for adoption. 不过我打算把它交给别人领养
[03:43.38]They’re gonna pay for the medical expenses and everything. 他们会支付一切医疗和其他费用
[03:48.94]we can just pretend that this never happened. 我们就可以当什么也没有发生
[03:53.94]You’re pregnant? 你怀孕了？
[03:55.90]And if it is any consolation, 不知道这么说能不能让你们同情
[03:55.94]I’m sorry. I’m sorry. 对不起，对不起
[03:57.62]I have heartburn that is radiating my kneecaps, 我已经胸闷得四肢无力了
[04:01.18]and I haven’t taken a dump since… Wednesday. 而且从周三早上开始
[04:06.78]I didn’t even know you were sexually active. 我甚至不知道你已经开始有性行为了
[04:09.66]Who is the kid? 孩子是谁？
[04:11.10]The baby? I don’t really know much about it 孩子？我也知道得不多
[04:14.54]other than… I mean, it has fingernails, 就知道它已经有指甲了
[04:15.70]-allegedly -Nails? Really. 指甲？真的吗？
[04:18.98]Yeah. 是的
[04:19.30]No, I don’t, I mean, 不，不，我是问
[04:20.98]who is the father, Juno? 谁是孩子的爸爸，朱诺？
[04:21.66]Um… 嗯…
[04:26.14]It’s… it’s Paulie Bleeker. 是保利·布里克
[04:28.66]Paulie Bleeker? 保利·布里克？
[04:32.22]I didn’t think he had it in him. 我还以为他没那个呢
[04:32.34]What? 怎么了？
[04:32.90]I know, right? 哈哈，我明白
[04:36.58]Right. This is no laughing matter. 现在不是开玩笑的时候
[04:38.78]No, it’s not. 不是这样的
[04:40.18]And you know, Paulie is actually great 保利在椅子上其实
[04:41.62]-in, uh… -Okay. 其实…
[04:42.86]in chair. 很棒的
[04:44.42]You’re thinking about adoption? 你想把孩子给人领养？
[04:47.42]Yeah, yeah, and it, there’s this couple 对，是的
[04:49.90]they haven’t had, you know, 那对夫妻没有孩子
[04:52.10]they’ve been trying to have a kid for, like, five years. 他们已经试了五年了
[04:53.90]We found them in the PennySaver 我们在免费传单上找到他们的
[04:56.26]next to the exotic birds. 就挨着卖鸟的广告
[04:57.94]And they have 他们有一个合法的律师
[04:58.62]and I was gonna go meet with them next weekend. 我打算下周末去见他们
[04:59.18]a legitimate lawyer
[05:00.62]June bug, that is 你知道，这是一件 |