[00:04.98]You have an undescended testicle. 你有隐睾症
[00:09.14]Googleable! Google 上查得到！
[00:10.98]Ned! 奈德！
[00:12.82]You helped me cheat on my math test, but I got caught. 你帮我在数学考试上作弊 但我却被抓住了
[00:15.86]Public record! 尽人皆知！
[00:24.70]You asked Princess Leia to junior prom. 你曾经请求莱娅公主 做你高中舞会的舞伴
[00:30.22]Covered by the local news. 当地的新闻都播报了
[00:39.58]I can’t breathe! I can’t breathe! 我喘不过气了！我喘不过气了！
[00:44.14]Please. 请帮我一把
[00:45.78]- Oh! - Ha, ha! - 噢！ - 哈哈！
[00:49.46]Oh, my God. 噢，天啊！
[00:51.60]No, no, no. 不，不，不
[00:53.82]Ned, Ned. 奈德，奈德
[00:56.50]Oh, my God. 噢，我的天
[01:10.74]MIKE: Would you stop staring at me? 你能不能不要一直盯着我看？
[01:14.06]- It’s freaking me out. - It’s freaking me out! - 这真的要让我崩溃了 - 是要让我崩溃了！
[01:18.26]I’m pubescent! 我回到青春期了！
[01:23.46]Okay. So, uh... 好的，那么，嗯…
[01:27.30]...it’s a classic transformation story. …这是一个经典的变身故事
[01:30.46]It appears in the literature time and time again. 这在文学作品中不断地发生
[01:33.14]Were you at any point shot by a gamma ray? 你是不是被伽马射线给照射了？
[01:34.82]- No. - Exposed to gamma radiation of any kind? - 没有 - 暴露到任何一种伽马辐射下？
[01:36.60]- No, Ned. - No? - 没有，奈德 - 没有？
[01:39.86]You wouldn’t see it. Okay. 就算有你也看不见，好吧
[01:43.70]That eliminates these and those and most of that side. 排除了这样那样的可能性
[01:49.70]Are you now or have you ever been... 你现在或者是不是以前…
[01:53.06]...a Norse god, vampire, or time-traveling cyborg? …被北欧诸神，吸血鬼 或者穿越时空的机器人给…
[01:56.42]I’ve known you since, what, first grade? I would have told you. 我从，似乎，一年级起就认识你了吧？ 我想我应该已经告诉过你了
[02:00.94]Vampire wouldn’t tell. Cyborg wouldn’t know. 吸血鬼可分辨不出来 机器人也是一样
[02:02.78]Shut up. 闭嘴
[02:05.10]Okay, if it’s not any of those, I guess, um, we’re looking at your basic... 好吧，如果都不是这些原因所造成的 我猜测，嗯，我们要看看你是否中了…
[02:09.98]...spirit guide transformation magic. That’s kind of a biggie, actually. …精神引导者的变形魔法 这其实说起来有点扯淡
[02:15.66]That is here. 就在这里
[02:17.98]When the hero... 当主角…
[02:19.66]- I guess that’s... I guess, you. - Hm. - 我想这里指的是…我猜是你 - 嗯
[02:21.18]Uh, is transformed by his spirit guide... 由他的精神引导者改变形体…
[02:24.86]...to set him on a new path. …从而迈向新的人生道路
[02:27.38]- Which is what? - Do I look like your spirit guide? - 那是什么？ - 我看起来像是你的精神引导者吗？
[02:36.58]The janitor. 那个清洁工
[02:39.90]The janitor. 清洁工
[02:52.14]You guys seen the janitor? You seen the janitor? 你们有人看到清洁工吗？ 你看到清洁工吗？
[02:55.98]- Do you know where the janitor is? GIRL: No. - 你知道清洁工在哪吗？ - 不知道
[02:57.34]Hey, where’s the janitor? Where does the janitor work? 嗨，清洁工在哪儿？ 清洁工都在哪儿忙？
[03:01.34]- Excuse me! - You all right, kid? - 不好意思！ - 怎么了，孩子？
[03:04.02]- There’s another janitor who works here. - Just me. - 这儿还有另一个清洁工 - 只有我一个啊
[03:05.02]No, no. There’s an older guy with white hair who works here. 不，不，还有一个满头白发的老头 也在这里做事
[03:08.02]I was here yesterday talking to the janit... I showed him this picture of me. 我昨天还在这儿跟那个清洁工 说过话...我给他看我的这张照片
[03:15.22]WOMAN: You? - Yeah. - 你？ - 是的
[03:15.38]That picture’s from 1989. 那张照片是1989年的
[03:21.26]Right. Forget it. 好吧，就当我没说
[03:28.46]Alex! 亚历克斯！
[03:33.30]Alex, buddy! 亚历克斯，伙计！
[03:34.46]Alex! 亚历克斯！
[04:09.10]Hello? 有人吗？
[04:13.46]Spirit guide? 精神引导者？
[04:18.30]What am I supposed to do? 我应该怎么做？
[04:20.82]Don’t know what I’m supposed to do. 我不知道我该怎么做才好
[04:31.18]NED: Ouch. Oh, ow. 噢，噢
[04:31.86]I got shot. Did I get shot or did I get...? Someone got powned. 我被打中了，我是被打中还是被...？ 有人被揍了
[04:37.54]- It’s a grenade. MIKE: Ned. - 那是手榴弹 - 奈德
[04:40.90]Aah! Oh, sorry. Teenage you. 啊！噢，对不起 原来是青少年版的你
[04:41.74]I figured it out. I figured out what I’m supposed to do. 我搞清楚了，我知道我应该怎么做了
[04:44.90]I figured out what my spirit guide wants me to do. 我理解什么我的精神引导者 想要我做
[04:48.74]I’m going back. 我要回去
[04:51.46]I’m going back to high school, Ned! 我要重返高中生活，奈德！
[04:53.78]No! No, no. No way. 不！不，不可能
[04:55.46]Your spirit guide would not waste transformation magic... 你的精神导师可不会把魔法浪费在…
[04:58.46]...on you reliving your senior year and going to prom. No. …让你重温你的高中时代 参加校园舞会上，不可能
[05:00.82]Ned, this is my chance to have my life over, but to do it right. 奈德，这是一次让我重新来过的机会 而且我会选择正确的道路 |