[00:00.00]Text The Letter "A"(II)
[00:05.80]I was now five,and still I showed no real sign of intelligence.
[00:11.68]I showed no apparent interest in things except for my toes
[00:17.01]--more especially those on my left foot.
[00:21.13]I used to lie on my back all the time in the kitchen or,
[00:26.41]on bright warm days,out in the garden,
[00:30.77]surrounded by a family that loved me
[00:34.93]and hoped for me and that made me part of it.
[00:39.37]I was lonely,imprisoned in a world of my own,
[00:44.72]unable to communicate with others,cut off,
[00:49.29]separated from them as though a glass wall stood between my existence and theirs.
[00:55.46]I longed to run about and play with the rest,
[00:59.72]but I was unable to break loose from my imprisonment.
[01:04.08]Then suddenly,it happened!
[01:07.55]In a moment everything was changed,my future life took a definite shape,
[01:13.80]my mother's faith in me rewarded,and her secret fear changed into open triumph.
[01:20.88]It happened so quickly,
[01:24.04]so simply after all the years of waiting and uncertainty,
[01:29.18]that I can see and feel the whole scene as if it had happened last week.
[01:35.06]It was the afternoon of a cold,grey December day.
[01:40.52]It was snowing.The streets outside were all covered with snow.
[01:46.08]Inside,all the family were gathered round the big kitchen fire that lit up the little room with a warm glow
[01:54.26]and made giant shadows dance on the walls and ceiling.
[01:59.12]In a corner Mona,my sister,and Paddy,my brother,were sitting together.
[02:05.88]They were writing down little sums onto an old slate,
[02:11.13]using a piece of yellow chalk.
[02:14.58]I was close to them,propped up by a few pillows against the wall,watching.
[02:21.43]It was the chalk that attracted me so much.
[02:25.66]It was a long,slender stick of vivid yellow.
[02:30.80]I had never seen anything like it before,
[02:35.06]and I was fascinated by it as much as if it had been a stick of gold.
[02:41.12]Suddenly,I wanted desperately to do what my sister was doing.
[02:47.08]Then--without thinking or knowing exactly what I was doing,
[02:52.23]I reached out and took the stick of chalk out of my sister's hand
[02:57.66]--with my left foot.
[03:00.58]I do not know why I used my left foot to do this.
[03:05.16]It is a puzzle to many people as well as to myself,
[03:10.01]for,although I had shown a curious interest in my toes at an early age.
[03:16.57]I had never attempted before this to use either of my feet in any way.
[03:22.63]They could have been as useless to me as were my hands.
[03:27.88]That day,however,my left foot reached out
[03:32.95]and very impolitely took chalk out of my sister's hand.
[03:38.28]I held it tightly between my toes,and,acting on an impulse,
[03:44.03]made a wild sort of scribble with it on the slate.
[03:48.47]Next moment I stopped,a bit dazed,surprised,
[03:54.14]looking down at the stick of yellow chalk stuck between my toes,
[03:59.60]not knowing what to do with it next,hardly knowing how it got there.
[04:05.24]Then I looked up and became aware that everyone had stopped talking,
[04:11.19]and was staring at me silently.Nobody stirred.
[04:16.24]My mother came in.
[04:19.19]She stopped midway between the table and the fire,
[04:23.44]feeling the tension flowing through the room.
[04:27.52]She followed their stare and saw me in the corner.
[04:31.78]Her eyes looked from my face down to my foot,
[04:36.04]with the chalk gripped between my toes.
[04:40.48]Then she crossed over to me and knelt down beside me,
[04:45.34]as she had done so many times before.
[04:49.59]"I'll show you what to do with it,Chris,"she said,
[04:54.03]very slowly and in a queer,choked way.
[04:59.10]Taking another piece of chalk from Mona,she hesitated,
[05:04.14]then very deliberately drew,on the floor in front of me,the single letter"A".
[05:12.01]"Copy that,"she said,looking steadily at me."Copy it,Christy."I couldn't.
[05:19.87]I looked around at the faces that were turned towards me,
[05:24.44]tense,excited faces that were at that moment frozen,
[05:29.77]immobile,eager,waiting for a miracle.
[05:34.84]The stillness was profound.
[05:38.08]I could hear the sound of the water tap dripping,
[05:42.52]the loud ticking of the clock,
[05:45.97]and the soft hiss and crackle of the logs on the open fire.
[05:51.84]I tried again.I put out my foot and made a wild stab with the chalk
[05:57.90]which produced a very crooked line and mothing more.
[06:02.27]Mother held the slate steady for me.
[06:06.11]"Try again,Chris,"she whispered in my ear."Again."
[06:11.17]I did.I stiffened my body and put my left foot out again,for the third time.
[06:18.02]I drew one side of the letter.
[06:21.57]I drew half the other side.
[06:24.91]Then the stick of chalk broke and I was left with a stump.
[06:29.88]I wanted to throw it away and give up.
[06:33.51]Then I felt my mother's hand on my shoulder.
[06:37.64]I tried once more.
[06:40.59]Out went my foot.I shook,I sweated and tried my best.
[06:46.54]My hands were so tightly clenched that my fingernails bit into the flesh.
[06:52.29]I set my teeth so hard that I nearly pierced my lower lip.
[06:57.72]But--I drew it--the letter"A".
[07:02.97]There it was on the slate before me.
[07:07.34]Shaky,with awkward sides and a very uneven center line.
[07:13.40]But it was the letter"A".I looked up.
[07:18.15]I saw my mother's face for a moment,tears on her cheeks.
[07:23.43]Then my father stooped and put me onto his shoulder.
[07:27.97]I had done it!It had started-
[07:31.53]-the thing that was to give my mind its chance of expressing itself.
[07:37.17]True,I couldn't speak with my lips.
[07:41.40]But now I would speak through something more lasting than spoken words
[07:46.44]--written words.
[07:49.19]That one letter,scrawled on the slate with a broken bit of yellow chalk
[07:55.66]gripped between my toes,was my road to a new world,my key to mental freedom. |