[00:03.54]And I feel the same. I'm sorry. I don't know what happened, I just.... 我感觉一样，对不起 我不知道刚才都说了些什么....
[00:06.70]-I had to let it all out. -Don't worry about it. -我需要宣泄 -不要在意
[00:11.22]I'm so miserable in my love life, in my relationship. 我的感情生活很痛苦
[00:13.42]I always act as-- Like, you know, I'm detached. 我总是感觉被拆散了一样
[00:17.78]But I'm dying inside. I'm dying because I'm so numb. 我的心死了 因为我麻木了
[00:19.14]I don't feel pain or excitement, I'm not even bitter, I'm just.... 我不能感觉到疼痛和激情....
[00:22.74]You think you're the one dying inside? 你认为自己已经心死了?
[00:28.10]My life is 24/7 bad. 我的生活没有一分钟是让人欣慰的
[00:30.70]-I'm sorry. -No, no. -对不起 -不
[00:33.70]I mean, the only happiness I get is when I'm out with my son. 我唯一开心的是同儿子在一起
[00:36.98]I've been to marriage counseling... 我到过婚姻咨询所...
[00:38.34]...I've done things I never thought I would have to do. ...我做了一些从没想过要做的事情
[00:40.54]I've lit candles, bought self-help books, lingerie. 我点蜡烛, 买自慰的书，女式内衣
[00:43.94]-Did the candles help? -Hell, no. -蜡烛好用么? -该死，不
[00:45.22]I don't love her the way she needs to be loved... 我不是以她喜欢的方式爱着她...
[00:49.90]...and I don't even see a future for us, but then I look at my little boy... ...我也看不到我同她的未来, 但当我看着孩子...
[00:53.34]...sitting across from me, and I think I'd suffer any torture... ...坐在我对面，我就决定要承受一切...
[00:55.62]...to be with him for all the minutes of his life. ...一直在陪伴在他身边
[00:59.74]I don't want to miss out on one. 我不想失去
[01:01.90]But then, there's no joy or laughter in my home, you know? 但此后家庭就没有了欢笑
[01:04.90]-I don't want him growing up in that. -No laughter? That's terrible. -我不希望他在那样的环境成长 -没有欢笑? 那真糟糕
[01:10.82]...and even when they fight they end up laughing. ...即使吵架了， 最后还是会欢笑和好
[01:11.38]My parents have been together 35 years... 我父母在一起35年了...
[01:14.82]I don't want to be one of those people who are getting divorced at 52... 我可不想做52岁离婚的人...
[01:18.70]...and falling down into tears, admitting they never really loved their spouse... ...然后泪流满面的说从来没有爱过自己的妻子...
[01:21.98]...and they feel their life has been sucked up into a vacuum cleaner. ...感觉自己的生活就同被抽干了一样
[01:28.06]You know, I want a great life. I want her to have a great life... 你知道的，我要美好的生活， 我也希望她有美好的生活...
[01:31.14]...she deserves that. ...这是她应得的
[01:34.78]But we're just living in the pretense of a marriage, responsibility... 但我们的婚姻现状就是...
[01:36.78]...you know, all these ideas of how people are supposed to live. ...就是不如理想
[01:44.58]But then l-- I have these dreams.... 但我有了这些梦想....
[01:48.10]What dreams? 什么梦想?
[01:51.22]I have these dreams, you know, that... 梦想就是...
[01:55.10]...I'm standing on a platform... ...我站在站台上...
[01:59.34]...and you keep going by on a train... ...你在火车上从旁经过...
[02:00.54]...and you go by, and you go by, and you go by, you go by. ...然后你经过、经过、经过、 不停的经过
[02:06.82]And I wake up with the fucking sweats. 然后我梦醒了
[02:09.10]And then I have this other dream... 然后我就有了另一个梦...
[02:10.10]...where you're pregnant in bed beside me naked... ...你怀孕了，躺在我身边...
[02:14.26]...and I want so badly to touch you, but you tell me not to and you look away. ...然后我非常想碰你 你让我不要
[02:18.14]And l-- And I touch you anyway... 然后我还是碰了你 ...
[02:21.70]...right on your ankle, and your skin is so soft that I wake up in sobs, all right? ...你的脚踝，柔软的皮肤 然后醒来我就泪流满面
[02:27.66]My wife is there looking at me, and I feel I'm a million miles from her. 我妻子看着我, 我感觉和她有好远的距离
[02:33.18]And I know that there's something wrong, that l-- 我知道有些不对--
[02:35.02]God, that I can't keep living like this... 天，我不能再这么生活了...
[02:37.70]...that there's gotta be more to love than commitment. ...应该有更多的爱， 不光是责任
[02:39.62]But then I think that I might have given up... 但我接下来又放弃了...
[02:42.50]...on the whole idea of romantic love. ...放弃了浪漫的爱情想法
[02:44.78]That I might have put it to bed that-- 当那一天你没出现的时候--
[02:49.66]That day when you weren't there. 我就应该把它丢弃了
[02:52.42]You know, I think I might have done that. 我可能已经那么做了.
[02:56.42]Why are you telling me all this? 你为什么要告诉我这些?
[02:59.70]I'm sorry. I don't know. I'm-- I should.... 我不知道，对不起....
[03:05.74]You know, it's so weird. 你知道，这很奇怪
[03:06.34]I shouldn't have. 我不该说的
[03:09.82]People think they are the only one going through tough times. 人们总以为只是自己在受苦
[03:11.74]I mean, when I read the article, I thought your life was perfect. 我是想说， 当我读你小说的时候感觉你过得很完美
[03:18.18]A wife, a kid, published author. 太太、小孩、作家
[03:21.34]But your personal life is more of a mess than mine. 但你的似生活比我还要糟糕
[03:26.46]I'm sorry. 对不起
[03:32.82]-This is where you live? -Yeah. -你住这里? -对
[03:37.54]So you're just relieved that I'm in even more deep shit than you are? 你知道我比你还要糟 你就安心了?
[03:42.86]Yes, you've made me feel better. 对，你让我感觉好多了
[03:45.02]Oh, good, I'm glad. 好，我很高兴
[03:45.50]No, I really wish you the best. 不，我希望你可以过的很好
[03:49.90]It's not because I'm incapable of having a good relationship or a family... 不是因为我不能拥有完美的家庭...
[03:53.26]...that I wish everyone to be doomed like me. ...我就不希望别人同我一样
[03:56.46]I'm sure you'd make-- Be a great mom someday. 我相信有一天， 你会是很优秀的妈妈
[03:57.62]-Really? You think so? -Yeah... -真的么? -是...
[04:01.26]...a few antidepressants, you know, you'll do great. ...多点乐观， 你会更棒
[04:05.02]-Okay, say stop. -Stop. -好，停 -停
[04:06.10]-Okay. -You ready? Okay. -好 -准备好了么? 好
[04:18.62]-So I want to try something. -What? -我想要尝试一些事情 -什么?
[04:27.18]I want to see if you stay together or if you dissolve into molecules. 我想知道你是会融化还是保持原样
[04:30.82]How am I doing? 我怎么样?
[04:33.22]Still here. 仍然在这里
[04:35.62]Good. I like being here. 很好，我喜欢这里
[04:41.78]Is this your apartment? 这是你的家?
[04:42.86]No, I live down there. 不，我住在下面，还要过去
[04:47.34]-Down there? -Yeah. -那里? -对
[04:47.94]Monsieur, I'm gonna walk her to her door. 先生，我送她到家门口 |