Two Ghosts
[00:54.70]Two ghosts strike up a conversation on the street.
[00:59.74]"How did you die?"the first man asks the second.
[01:05.10]"I froze to death,"says the second.
[01:09.75]"That's awful,"says the first man.
[01:14.40]"How does it feel to freeze to death?"
[01:18.55]"It's very uncomfortable at first",says the second man.
[01:23.91]"You get the shakes,and you get pains in all your fingers and toes.
[01:30.46]But eventually,it's very calm wy to go.
[01:35.50]You get numb and you kind of drift off,as if you're sleeping.
[01:42.66]How about you,how did you die?"
[01:47.10]"I had a heart attack,"says the first man.
[01:52.38]"One day I came back home from work and found my house in a mess.
[01:59.22]It looked like someone had broken into my house.
[02:03.98]I never smoked,but I could smell cigarette smoke in the air,
[02:09.93]so I ran to the kitchen.
[02:13.49]The door to the back garden was bolted on the inside.
[02:18.45]No windows had been broken--the burglar still must have been in the house.
[02:25.40]I ran down to the basement,but no one was hiding there.
[02:30.96]I ran up to the second floor,but there was no sign of anyone there either.
[02:37.91]Then,I ran as fast as I could to the attic,and just as I got there,
[02:45.17]I had a massive heart attack and died."
[02:49.53]The second man shakes his head.
[02:53.30]"If you had only stopped to look in the freezer,we'd both still be alive."
[03:00.35]Who Sent the Tickets?
[03:30.42]A young couple got married and went away on their honeymoon.
[03:36.29]After two weeks they came back
[03:40.87]and finally put away all of the presents they received from friends and family.
[03:47.63]A week later,they received in the mail two tickets for a Michael Jackson concert
[03:55.18]where tickets were impossible to get.
[03:59.33]They were very excited and warmed by the gesture of the person who sent this.
[04:07.20]Inside the envelope,however,was only a small piece of paper with a single line.
[04:14.64]"Guess who sent them."
[04:17.99]The couple had much fun trying to identify the donor,
[04:23.34]but failed in the effort.
[04:26.81]They went to the concert,and had a wonderful time.
[04:31.46]On their return home late at night,
[04:35.44]still trying to guess the identity of the unknown host,
[04:40.79]they found the house stripped of every article of value.
[04:45.94]The wife's diamond rings and 24k-gold necklaces were gone!
[04:52.41]So was the husband's new model Japanese camera
[04:57.56]and rare editions of 19th-century English novels!
[05:03.33]And on the bare table in the dining-room was a piece of paper,
[05:09.08]and a line was written in the same hand on it
[05:13.76]as on the enclosure with the tickets:"Now you know!"
[05:19.53]A Park Incident
[05:47.38]Two boys were playing football in a park when one was attacked by a dog.
[05:54.74]Thinking quickly,the other boy ripped off a board of the nearby fence
[06:01.59]and broke the dog's neck with it.
[06:05.64]A reporter who was strolling by saw the incident,
[06:10.81]and rushed over to interview the boy.
[06:15.17]"Young Red Socks Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal,"
[06:20.73]he started writing in his notebook.
[06:24.57]"But I'm not a Red Socks fan,"the little hero replied.
[06:30.43]"Sorry,since we are in Boston,I just assumed you were,"
[06:36.59]said the reporter and started again.
[06:40.95]"Little Celtics Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack"
[06:47.12]he continued writing in his notebook.
[06:51.17]"I'm not a Celtics fan either,"the boy said.
[06:56.34]"I assumed everyone in Boston was either for the Red Socks or Celtics.
[07:03.29]What team do you root for?"the reporter asked.
[07:08.46]"I'm a Lakers fan,"the child said.
[07:13.14]The reporter started a new sheet in his notebook and wrote,
[07:18.70]"Little Redneck Bastard kills Beloved Family Pet."
[07:24.76]A Dollar Per point
[07:51.72]Nick Harris's dad was one of the oil tycoons in Texas.
[07:57.96]So Nick grew up in a very nice family,
[08:02.53]but he was one of those spoiled kids you could find on campus.
[08:07.99]He cut classes,threw fancy parties for his friends in his downtown hotel suite
[08:15.54]or drove his Ferrari along the coast in the evening,
[08:21.00]and spent the weekend with his girlfriend in his sailboat on the Gulf of Mexico.
[08:27.38]He didn't have to worry about a thing in college except his grades,
[08:32.84]because he had his dad behind him,
[08:37.09]so he believed money could buy just everything.
[08:42.14]He was having trouble with his history class that semester.
[08:47.18]One day,the professor was giving a big test.
[08:52.04]He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.
[08:57.68]Once the test was over,the students all handed the tests back in.
[09:04.03]The professor noticed that Nick had attached a $100 bill
[09:10.09]to his test with a note saying"A dollar per point."
[09:15.86]The next class the professor handed the tests back out.
[09:21.01]Nick got back his test,with $41 change.
[09:26.07]Money did buy something all right,
[09:29.84]but it wasn't enough this time(just 59 points).
[09:35.29]So he said to himself,"I'll sweeten the offer for the final." |