Three Envelopes
[00:26.88]Sometime after Mr.Goodwill died,his daughter,Susan,
[00:33.36]was finally able to speak about
[00:37.51]what a thoughtful and wonderful father he had been.
[00:42.55]"My father thought of everything,"she told her friends.
[00:48.80]"Just before he died,he called me to his bedside.
[00:54.39]He handed me three envelopes.
[00:58.44]'Susan,'he told me,'I have put all my last wishes in these three envelopes.
[01:06.51]After I am dead,please open them and do exactly as I have instructed.
[01:13.87]Then I can rest in peace'."
[01:18.24]"What was in the envelopes?"her friends asked.
[01:23.98]"The first envelope contained$5,000 with a note,
[01:29.73]'Please use this money to buy a nice casket.'
[01:35.29]So I bought a beautiful casket with such a comfortable lining
[01:41.77]that I know Father is resting very comfortably.
[01:46.92]"The second envelope contained $10,000 with a note,
[01:52.95]'Please use this for a nice funeral.'
[01:57.32]I arranged him a very dignified funeral."
[02:02.64]"And the third envelope?"asked her friends.
[02:07.79]"The third envelope contained $25,000 with a note,
[02:13.85]'Please use this to buy a nice stone.'
[02:18.29]Holding her hand in the air and showing off her five-carat diamond ring,
[02:24.85]Susan said,"So,do you like my stone?"
[02:30.62](A stone can be a tombstone,but it can also be a precious stone like a diamond)
[02:39.09]How Did It Happen?
[03:06.75]"How did it happen?"the doctor asked Jim as he set the man's broken leg.
[03:14.30]"Well,doc,14 years ago..."
[03:19.37]"Never mind 14 years ago.Just tell me how you broke your leg this morning."
[03:27.41]"As I was saying...14 years ago,when I was a TA in college,there was this girl.
[03:37.39]When I called on her in class she went woozy and breathless.
[03:43.92]She hung around me after class,followed me to my office,
[03:50.27]leaned over my desk in a tight sweater or shirt open nearly to the waist..."
[03:57.11]"Excuse me,"said the doctor,"What does this story have to do with your leg?"
[04:04.19]"Well,this morning I was repairing my house,"the man explained,
[04:12.13]"and when it dawned on me what she was doing that for,I fell off the roof!"
[04:19.11]A New Shop Assistant
[04:48.94]Jim was starting work in a convenience store.
[04:53.67]He was very nervous.
[04:57.33]So it was up to the manager to train him.
[05:01.69]This just made him more nervous.
[05:06.23]They were standing at the counter,and a customer came into the store.
[05:12.11]The manager said toi Jim,"Watch and learn.This is how it's done."
[05:19.56]The customer came up to the counter and said"
[05:24.91]Can I have a packet of grass seeds,please."
[05:29.59]Manager said,"Yes,of course sir,and I think you may also need a rake."
[05:37.92]"What for?"said the customer.
[05:42.15]"Well,you will need to rake the new lawn before you plant the seeds."
[05:49.28]That's good thinking.Give me a rake as well."
[05:55.16]"Then of course you will be needing a lawnmower when the grass grows."
[06:01.82]"O yes,that's right,"said the customer,"and give me a lawnmower as well."
[06:08.90]The customer then left,
[06:13.45]and the manager turned to Jim and said"That's how it's done around here."
[06:20.00]Just then,a second customer came in,
[06:25.28]and the manager said"O.K.you're up"to Jim.
[06:32.12]The customer came up to the counter and said to Jim
[06:37.90]"Can I have a razor,please?'
[06:41.66]"Sure,"said the new guy.
[06:45.42]"Would you like a lawnmower with that?"asked Jim.
[06:50.78]Looking confused,the customer said"Well,why would I?"
[06:58.32]"Because...because you're not going to be shaving all for the rest of the week."
[07:06.87]Cigars for the Manager
[07:36.02]Mr.Thomas,manager of the sales department,
[07:41.79]is going to be the new vice president,
[07:46.23]and the company is considering one of two promising young men,
[07:52.40]Frank and Tim,to take Mr.Tomas's pace after he is promoted.
[07:59.66]Frank is the protege of a senior executive,Mr.Morris,
[08:06.82]who happens to know his way around in the corridors of power within the company.
[08:13.58]"It's in Mr.Sullavan's hands now,"says Mr.Morris.
[08:20.14]"You mean the manager of personnel? Would it help if I sent him a box of cigars?"
[08:28.08]"Oh no!He is stickler for ethical behavior.
[08:33.75]A stunt like that would prejudice him against you."
[08:38.71]A few weeks later,Frank gets promoted,and he tells his mentor,
[08:45.87]"Thanks for the tip about the cigars.It worked!"
[08:51.23]"I'm sure you'd have lost the opportunity if you'd sent them."
[08:56.87]"But,I did send them."
[09:00.21]"What? You did?"says Mr.Morris,incredulously.
[09:07.58]"Yes.That's how I got the position."
[09:12.31]"I don't understand."
[09:15.76]"It's easy.I sent the cigars to the manager but enclosed Tim's business card." |