[00:01.00]Lesson 11 Text;
[00:00.47]The way she was made up,bad as it was,;
[00:04.28]was nothing compared with the way she behaved.;
[00:08.07]When Mum offered her some sweets,;
[00:11.10]she grabbed two handfuls,and refused to say a "Thank you!";
[00:16.04]when gently reminded by her mother.;
[00:19.11]"Dear,girl!She is always shy before strangers and forgets her manners.;
[00:26.29]What a bare-faced lie!;
[00:29.65]By no stretch of imagination could Mimi be described as a shy girl.;
[00:36.04]Anyway I don't think she has had any manners to forget.;
[00:41.02]When she played with Xiao Hong's things,;
[00:44.28]her only pleasure seemed to lie in destruction.;
[00:48.76]When she started to tear up Xiao Hong's picture books,it was really too much;
[00:55.35]and Xiao Hong tried to rescue what remained by snatching them away.;
[01:01.61]Obviously Mimi had never been crossed by anyone like this before;
[01:07.55]and she started to howl like a pig being killed.;
[01:12.19]Her parents rushed up to her,;
[01:15.42]as though their darling daughter was in mortal danger.;
[01:19.80]"Horrid Xiao Hong! Spank her!Spank her!"Mimi kept screaming.;
[01:25.90]Without finding out what it was all about,;
[01:29.29]and without a single word of reprimand, the Lius were all out to mollify her.;
[01:36.25]"There,there,don't cry my precious! Auntie will spank her later!";
[01:42.08]But Mimi was not so easily mollified.;
[01:46.10]"No,no!Mammy spank her now!";
[01:50.02]Her mother really went up to Xiao Hong;
[01:53.51]and clapped her hands behind Xiao Hong's back,;
[01:57.07]pretending to be spanking:"See if you dare to make Mimi cry again!";
[02:03.23]This sort of farce went on and on.;
[02:06.92]Lunch was an even more hectic affair,;
[02:10.81]either because she had too much sweets in her;
[02:14.54]or she was over- nourished anyway, she just refused to eat anything.;
[02:20.53]All the same she insisted on having all the best dishes in front of her;
[02:26.99]and dipped her spoon into every one of them at will,;
[02:31.44]while all the time her parents,one on each side of her,;
[02:36.84]tried their best to spoon-feed her.;
[02:40.34]They coaxed and cajoled,and for every occasional mouthful Mimi took,;
[02:46.63]they cheered and praised;
[02:48.90]as though it was a remarkable feat by their darling daughter.;
[02:53.68]They expected cheers and praises from us too.;
[02:58.40]More often than not, Mimi would spit out what she had just taken,;
[03:04.39]and the table was littered with her spilt and spat out food.;
[03:10.75]She spoiled the whole meal for everybody.;
[03:14.77]At last we had a moment of peace and quiet;
[03:18.89]when Mimi dozed off after the meal.;
[03:22.42]But it was only a lull before another storm.;
[03:27.23]When the Lius tried gently to wake her in order to leave,;
[03:32.17]she got into a tantrum because they had disturbed her sleep,;
[03:36.85]and she kept raining blows on her father;
[03:40.34]all the way he carried her downstairs.;
[03:44.13]Serves him damn well right,I said to myself in secret delight.;
[03:50.06]At last Mimi was doing something with my full approval.;
[03:55.53]I would love her even more if she did the same to her mother.;
[04:01.20]When the door finally closed on them,;
[04:04.79]Mum and Dad looked at each other and burst out laughing.;
[04:09.67]Soon we were all laughing.;
[04:13.00]II Read Read the following passages.;
[04:20.28]Underline the important viewpoints while reading.;
[04:25.03]1.The Growing up of a Black Boy;
[04:30.96]One evening my mother told me that thereafter;
[04:36.10]I would have to do the shopping for food.;
[04:39.75]She took me to the corner store to show me the way.;
[04:44.30]I was proud. I felt like a grown-up.;
[04:50.10]The next afternoon I looped the basket over my arm;
[04:55.54]and went down the pavement toward the store.;
[04:59.36]When I reached the corner,a gang of boys grabbed me, knocked me down,;
[05:06.71]snatched the basket, took the money and sent me running home in panic.;
[05:14.59]That evening I told my mother what had happened,but she made no comment.;
[05:22.46]She sat down at once wrote another note,;
[05:27.34]gave me more money and sent me out to the grocery again.;
[05:33.10]I crept down the street;
[05:35.84]and saw the same gang of boys playing down the street.;
[05:39.76]I ran back into the house.;
[05:42.99]"What's the matter?" my mother asked.;
[05:46.98]"It's those same boys,"I said. "They'll beat me.";
[05:52.25]"You've got to get over that,"she said. "Now, go on.";
[05:58.05]"I'm scared," I said.;
[06:01.38]"Go on.And don't pay any attention to them,"she said.;
[06:07.24]I went out of the door and walked briskly down the sidewalk,;
[06:12.94]praying that the gang would not molest me.;
[06:16.37]But when I came abreast of them, someone shouted, "There he is.";
[06:22.63]They came toward me and I broke into a wild run toward home.;
[06:28.89]They overtook me and flung me to the pavement.;
[06:33.04]I yelled,pleaded, kicked,but they rinsed the money out of my hand.;
[06:40.03]They yanked me to my feet,gave me a few slaps and sent me home sobbing.;
[06:48.13]My mother met me at the door.;
[06:51.33]"They bea..,bea.., beat me,"I gasped. "They too...too... took the mo...money.;
[06:59.80]I started up the steps,seeking the shelter of the house.;
[07:05.73]"Don't you come in here!"my mother warned me.;
[07:09.62]I froze in my tracks and stared at her.;
[07:13.51]"But they are coming after me,"I said.;
[07:17.53]"You just stay right where you are,"she said in a deadly tone.;
[07:22.50]"I'm going to teach you this night to stand up and fight for yourself.";
[07:28.24]She went into the house and I waited, terrified,;
[07:33.28]wondering what she was about.;
[07:36.41]Presently she returned with more money and another note.;
[07:41.45]She also had a long heavy stick.;
[07:45.11]"Take this money, this note and this stick,"she said.;
[07:51.27]"Go to the store and buy those groceries.;
[07:55.65]If those boys bother you,then fight." I was baffled.;
[08:02.24]My mother was telling me to fight;
[08:05.37]-- a thing that she had never done before.;
[08:08.76]"But I 'm scared," I said.;
[08:12.23]"Don't you come into this house until you've gotten those groceries,"she said.;
[08:17.80]"They'll beat me. They'll beat me," I said.;
[08:22.28]"Then stay in the streets.Don't come back here.";
[08:27.09]I ran up the steps and tried to force my way past her into the house.;
[08:33.88]A stinging slap came on my jaw. I stood on the sidewalk,crying.;
[08:40.90]"Please,let me wait until tomorrow!" I begged. "No,"she said.;
[08:48.34]"Go now!If you come back into this house without those groceries,;
[08:54.18]I'll whip you."She slammed the door and I heard the key turn in the lock.;
[09:01.69]I shook with fright.;
[09:04.62]I was alone upon the dark,hostile streets and gangs were after me.;
[09:10.98]I have the choice of being beaten at home or away from home.;
[09:16.35]I clutched the stick,crying,trying to reason.;
[09:21.66]If I were beaten at home,;
[09:24.33]there was absolutely nothing that I could do about it.;
[09:28.41]But if I were beaten in the streets,;
[09:31.54]I had a chance to fight and defend myself.;
[09:35.89]I walked slowly down the sidewalk,;
[09:39.52]coming closer to the gang of boys, holding the stick tightly.;
[09:44.76]I was so full of fear that I could scarcely breathe.;
[09:49.70]I was almost upon them now.;
[09:52.73]"There he is again," the cry went up.;
[09:56.32]They surrounded me quickly and began to grab for my hand.;
[10:01.56]"I'11 kill you." I threatened.;
[10:04.86]They closed in and,in blind fear, I let the stick fly,;
[10:11.08]feeling it crack against a boy's skull.;
[10:14.25]I swung again, landing another skull,then another.;
[10:19.85]Realizing that they would retaliate,if I let up for but a second,;
[10:25.35]I fought to lay them low,to knock them cold,;
[10:29.50]to kill them so that they could not strike back at me.;
[10:33.39]I flayed with tears in my eyes,teeth clenched,;
[10:38.34]stock fear making me throw every ounce of my strength behind each blow.;
[10:44.20]I hit again and again,dropping the money and the grocery list.;
[10:50.66]The boys scattered, yelling,nursing their heads,;
[10:55.44]staring at me in utter disbelief.;
[10:59.16]They had never seen such frenzy.;
[11:02.75]I stood panting, egging them on,;
[11:06.34]taunting them to come on and fight.;
[11:09.54]When they refused, I ran after them;
[11:13.43]and they tore out for their homes, screaming.;
[11:17.48]The parents of the boys rushed into the streets and threatened me.;
[11:23.02]And for the first time in my life,I shouted at grown-ups,;
[11:28.29]telling them that I would give them the same if they bothered me.;
[11:32.90]I finally found my grocery list and the money,and went to the store.;
[11:39.63]On my way back,I kept my stick poised for instant use,;
[11:45.95]but there was not a single boy in sight.;
[11:49.45]That night,I won the right to the streets of Memphis.;
[11:55.87]2.Parents Are Too Permissive with Their Children Nowadays;
[12:04.64]Few people would defend the Victorian attitude to children,;
[12:10.37]but if you were a parent in those days at least you knew where you stood:;
[12:16.70]children were to be seen and not heard.;
[12:21.44]Freud and Company did away with all that;
[12:25.63]and parents have been bewildered ever since.;
[12:29.94]The child's happiness is all-important,;
[12:34.09]the psychologists say,but what about the parents' happiness?;
[12:39.37]Parents suffer constantly from fear and guilt;
[12:44.31]while their children gaily romp about pulling the place apart.;
[12:50.11]A good old-fashioned spanking is out of the question;;
[12:54.72]no modern child rearing manual would permit such barbarity.;
[13:00.19]The trouble is you are not allowed even to shout.;
[13:05.43]Who knows what deep psychological wounds you might inflict?;
[13:10.87]The poor child may never recover from the dreadful traumatic experience;
[13:18.51]So it is that parents bend over backwards;
[13:22.96]to avoid giving their children complexes;
[13:26.29]which a hundred years ago hadn't even been heard of.;
[13:30.80]Certainly a child needs love,and a lot of it.;
[13:35.85]But the excessive permissiveness of modern parents;
[13:39.93]is surely doing more harm than good.;
[13:43.79]Psychologists have succeeded in undermining parents' confidence;
[13:49.85]in their own authority.;
[13:52.29]And it hasn't taken children long to get wind of the fact.;
[13:57.83]In addition to the great modern classics on child care,;
[14:02.64]there are countless articles in magazines and newspapers.;
[14:08.17]With so much unsolicited advice flying about,;
[14:12.72]mum and dad just don't know what to do any more.;
[14:17.23]In the end,they do nothing at all.;
[14:21.25]So,from early childhood,the kids are in charge;
[14:26.79]and parents' lives are regulated;
[14:29.92]according to the needs of their offspring.;
[14:33.31]When the little dears develop into teenagers,they take complete control.;
[14:40.23]Lax authority over the years;
[14:43.46]makes adolescent rebellion against parents all the more violent.;
[14:49.23]If the young people are going to have a party,for instance,;
[14:54.11]parents are asked to leave the house.;
[14:57.60]Their presence merely spoils the fun.;
[15:01.69]What else can the poor parents do but obey?;
[15:06.56]Children are hardy creatures;
[15:10.02](far hardier than the psychologists would have us believe);
[15:14.90]and most of them survive the harmful influence of extreme permissiveness,;
[15:21.65]which is the normal condition in the modern household.;
[15:26.27]But a great many do not.;
[15:29.30]The spread of juvenile delinquency in our own age;
[15:34.14]is largely due to parental laxity.;
[15:37.74]Mother,believing that little Johnny can look after himself,;
[15:42.71]is not at home when he returns from school,;
[15:46.66]so little Johnny roams the streets.;
[15:50.39]The dividing-line between permissiveness;
[15:53.88]and sheer negligence is very fine indeed.;
[15:58.16]The psychologists have much to answer for.;
[16:02.35]They should keep their mouths shut and let parents get on with the job.;
[16:08.71]And if children are knocked about a little bit in the process,;
[16:14.05]it may not really matter too much.;
[16:17.18]At least this will help them to develop vigorous views of their own;
[16:22.98]and give them something positive to react against.;
[16:27.33]Perhaps there's some truth in the idea;
[16:30.62]that children who've had a surfeit of happiness in their childhood;
[16:35.04]emerge like stodgy puddings and fail to make a success of life.;
[16:41.40]3. Parental Piety Is Taken to Extremes;
[16:48.65]The dictionary defines "filial piety";
[16:52.82]as "a son's or daughter's obedience to and respect for parents".;
[16:58.50]It is a pity that in reality;
[17:02.45]the implication of this expression has changed in China,;
[17:06.66]a nation so proud of this virtue.;
[17:10.26]It so happened in a department store that an old couple,;
[17:16.00]after careful selection and much hesitation,;
[17:20.30]fumbled 600 yuan from their pockets for a quality down quilt,;
[17:26.28]smiling with content when the package was handed over the counter.;
[17:31.86]"It's so good to see the elderly spending their savings for their own sake.;
[17:37.89]There aren't many old people;
[17:39.87]who buy expensive commodities for themselves these days,";
[17:44.22]commented a middle-aged passer-by.;
[17:47.93]"We really should be a bit hedonistic, shouldn't we?";
[17:52.57]The old couple's smile froze on hearing the words.;
[17:57.71]"It's actually for my youngest son.;
[18:01.17]He's getting married soon,"sighed the old man.;
[18:05.97]The passer-by nodded understandingly,;
[18:10.02]"Show filial piety to your son,eh?" she said half jokingly.;
[18:15.51]Her words were greeted by a fit of hollow laughter.;
[18:20.90]This role reversal --piety to one's children--is not uncommon,;
[18:28.16]in rural areas and cities alike.;
[18:32.41]Parents save every penny for a child to enter a self-paid college;
[18:38.25]if he or she fails university entrance exams.;
[18:43.34]They empty their pockets for a son or daughter's wedding.;
[18:47.93]They do all the household chores for a child living together with them.;
[18:54.26]Without exaggeration;
[18:57.08]Chinese parents are the most thoughtful and considerate of parents in the world;
[19:03.50]Just visit an amusement park on Sunday;
[19:07.41]and you will see how true this statement is.;
[19:11.51]When Chinese parents,or grandparents,;
[19:15.71]accompany their children to amusement parks,;
[19:19.57]rarely do they ride the roller coaster or the wonder wheel;;
[19:24.51]not because they are too timid,;
[19:27.33]but because they are simply too busy queuing up for their children.;
[19:32.81]In much the same way,they would sacrifice their own interests;
[19:38.79]for the happiness of their offspring.;
[19:42.15]A 1990 survey in Bengbu,Anhui Province,;
[19:47.44]found 62 per cent of the younger families owned colour TV sets,;
[19:53.82]compared with 23 percent in older families.;
[19:59.26]While 61 per cent of younger families possessed refrigerators;
[20:05.39]and 80 per cent had washing machines,;
[20:08.94]relevant percentages from the older families were 19 and 35.;
[20:16.90]Apart from the older generation's habitual thriftiness;
[20:22.49]the survey said the aged spend much income on their children.;
[20:27.97]Their savings were further diminished;
[20:30.94]by entertaining their extended families on holiday.;
[20:35.68]In Tianjin,a survey of 100 newly-weds;
[20:41.02]found expenditure for the occasion averaged 11,380 Yuan ($2,147).;
[20:52.98]Among them,93 percent were "sponsored" by parents,;
[20:59.06]partially or totally.;
[21:02.28]That explains,to a large degree,;
[21:06.63]why the homes of most Chinese parents are rather plain,;
[21:11.57]with furniture bought in the 1950s and 1960s.;
[21:17.20]In sharp contrast, the homes of young couples display matching furniture,;
[21:24.57]video cassettes and audio systems.;
[21:28.72]Their houses are usually carpeted and decorated with wallpaper.;
[21:35.54]When young people do not have houses of their own upon marriage,;
[21:41.23]their parents readily give up the best space in the house,;
[21:45.82]and retreat to smaller north-facing rooms.;
[21:50.57]When grandchildren are born,;
[21:53.38]many grandparents volunteer to be baby-sitters,;
[21:57.59]caring for and bringing up the third generation without complaint.;
[22:04.16]This "piety" towards sons and daughters is very moving indeed.;
[22:11.62]But I can't help thinking;
[22:14.19]that it is more natural for children to leave their parents;
[22:18.45]and live on their own as is the practice in other countries.;
[22:24.03]In this way,;
[22:26.20]children can better develop the habit of working and living independently.;
[22:31.99]The older generation on the other hand,;
[22:35.74]can enjoy their later years in a more relaxed way.;
[22:40.88]Occasionally, parents may extend financial help to their children;
[22:46.91]if the latter are really in need of it.;
[22:50.52]But they need not lavish care on their grown-up children.;
[22:55.22]It is the children who should practise the virtue;
[22:58.88]of being filial to their old parents,;
[23:02.29]In this way,society would follow a more healthy path of development.;
[23:09.80]4.Bringing up Children [Extract from an interview.];
[23:19.24]"One reason why the family unit is crumbling;
[23:24.18]is that parents have relinquished their authority over children.;
[23:29.47]The permissive school of thought says,;
[23:32.98]"Let the child do what he wants to when he wants to,no matter what it is,;
[23:39.80]don't warp his personality,don't thwart him,you'll ruin him for life.";
[23:47.07]Because of this we've got a generation;
[23:51.32]of spoilt selfcentred brats with no respect for their elders.;
[23:57.99]Children always push to see how much they can get away with;;
[24:04.02]if you give them nothing to push against,;
[24:07.28]there are no moral limits,;
[24:09.61]no moral convictions will develop in the children.;
[24:13.96]We have this in the schools-;
[24:16.82]children have much less respect for their teachers nowadays.";
[24:22.01]How do you define respect ?;
[24:25.57]"Realizing that someone else might have desires also.;
[24:31.50]Respect doesn't mean that when someone in authority says "jump" you jump;
[24:38.97]--that's the military approach--;
[24:41.44]but young people today,if they have an opinion that's different from yours;
[24:47.07]then you're the fool and they're right,;
[24:50.38]even if they don't have enough experience to judge.";
[24:55.23]How do you feel about children using swearwords?;
[25:00.81]"I never hear them swear,but I saw one of my daughter's diaries once,;
[25:07.44]and it was full of a word that;
[25:09.91]I'd have spanked her for if she'd said it aloud.;
[25:14.36]Swearing goes against my sensibilities.;
[25:18.56]It's mental laziness.;
[25:21.03]If people aren't allowed to swear;
[25:23.90]they use their brains to find a better word.";
[25:28.39]Do you think it's just a matter of convention;
[25:32.20]or do you think there's a deeper moral objection to swearing?;
[25:37.14]"I think it's not done.;
[25:39.91]It's taboo in nice society,we've been taught not to swear,;
[25:45.89]and I think well-brought-up people should avoid it.;
[25:50.54]If I ever hear a woman use "s-h-i-t" I think a lot less of her.";
[25:58.35](Margaret,43, American);
[26:03.09]5. Some Hard-working Dads Miss Seeing Their Kids Grow up;
[26:11.89]Dear Ann Landers:;
[26:15.01]A number of my friends work so many hours;
[26:19.36]that they rarely see their children.;
[26:22.42]When they finally make the time,;
[26:25.58]they discover that their children are grown up and have no time for them.;
[26:32.06]I wrote the following piece;
[26:35.07]and you are welcome to share it with your readers;
[26:38.48]if you think it's good enough.;
[26:40.76]Sign me--Lonely Anywhere,U.S.A.;
[26:47.63]Dear Lonely: It's excellent.;
[26:51.63]You've zeroed in;
[26:53.31]on one of the principal problems of parenthood in the '80s.;
[26:57.96]Thanks for tossing it my way.;
[27:01.52]Where Did the Years Go?;
[27:05.13]I remember talking to my friend;
[27:08.29]a number of years ago about our children.;
[27:11.90]Mine were 5 and 7 then,;
[27:14.86]just the ages when their daddy means everything to them.;
[27:19.76]I wished that I could have spent more time with my kids;
[27:24.01]but I was too busy working.;
[27:26.92]After all,I wanted to give them all the things;
[27:31.37]I never had when I was growing up.;
[27:34.54]I loved the idea of coming home and having them sit on my lap;
[27:40.22]and tell me about their day.;
[27:42.94]Unfortunately,most days I came home so late;
[27:48.23]that I was only able to kiss them good night after they had gone to sleep.;
[27:54.26]It is amazing how fast kids grow.;
[27:58.51]Before I knew it, they were 9 and 11.;
[28:02.91]I missed seeing them in school plays.;
[28:06.37]Everyone said they were terrific,;
[28:09.38]but the plays always seemed to go on when I was traveling for business;
[28:14.62]or tied up in a special conference.;
[28:17.98]The kids never complained,;
[28:20.85]but I could see the disappointment in their eyes.;
[28:25.15]I kept promising that I would have more time "next year".;
[28:30.63]But the higher up the corporate ladder I climbed,;
[28:34.69]the less time there seemed to be.;
[28:37.65]Suddenly they were no longer 9 and 11.;
[28:42.10]They were 14 and 16. Teenagers.;
[28:47.24]I didn't see my daughter the night she went out on her first date;
[28:52.28]or my son's championship basketball game.;
[28:56.09]Mom made excuses;
[28:58.71]and I managed to telephone and talk to them before they left the house,;
[29:03.70]I could hear the disappointment in their voices,;
[29:07.36]but I explained as best I could.;
[29:10.97]Don't ask where the years have gone.;
[29:14.43]Those little kids are 19 and 21 now and in college.;
[29:19.87]I can't believe it.;
[29:22.39]My job is less demanding and I finally have time for them.;
[29:27.97]But they have their own interests and there is no time for me.;
[29:33.61]To be perfectly honest,I'm a little hurt.;
[29:39.44]It seems like yesterday that they were 5 and 7.;
[29:44.73]I'd give anything to live those years over.;
[29:48.63]You can bet your life I'd do it differently.;
[29:52.49]But they are gone now,and so is my chance to be a real dad.;
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