[00:02.56]"I like you." “我喜欢你”
[00:08.20]- That sounds good to me. - True, you can't tell them you like them. 我觉得很棒 不能跟女人说你喜欢她们
[00:09.00]- I tried that. It didn't go well. - I've crashed and burned on that. 我试过，结果不怎样 我还因此受伤惨重
[00:13.36]That is what you did, and I did like you! 你就这么做，而我也喜欢上你！
[00:15.56]I just didn't know I was being worked over by some professional. 我没想到自己是被专家唬弄了
[00:19.12]He doesn't have a badge. 他没别名牌
[00:21.24]The only time he was sincere or spontaneous... 他唯一真诚、自在的时刻…
[00:23.92]was when everything was going wrong or when you were stoned out of your head. 就是约会不顺或服药过量的时候
[00:27.56]- I'm sorry to interrupt. Do I know you? - No, I don't think so. 抱歉打扰，我认识你吗？ 我想你不认识
[00:32.28]- You wanna see me be spontaneous? - Sure, you want a Benadryl? 你想看什么是自在吗？ 当然，要喝过敏糖浆吗？
[00:35.32]This is really kind of distracting. And I haven't gotten laid in a year! 这真令人抓狂 我已经一年没性生活了
[00:45.96]We're sorry. Why don't you guys get back to your date? 对不起，你们回去约会吧
[00:48.76]Or go somewhere. 不然就去别的地方
[00:53.52]Maybe from the bank? 也许你是银行的人？
[00:54.84]If this doesn't work out, call him. He might hook you up with Paris Hilton. 如果你约会没结果，找他 他会帮你搭上社交名媛
[00:58.32]Wait, that's it. You're the Date Doctor, right? 我知道了，你是约会顾问
[01:06.24]- You're the Date Doctor? - Do we have a problem here? 你就是那个约会顾问？ 有问题吗？
[01:09.52]Yeah, a big one! What the hell did I ever do to you? 问题大了！我哪里对不起你了？
[01:14.80]Am I missing something? 我是不是没搞懂什么？
[01:16.40]Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. 先生，我得请你离开
[01:19.88]Why don't you go hit a titty bar with your buddy Vance? 你去脱衣酒吧找你好朋友范斯吧
[01:29.80]Wow. 天哪
[01:32.80]I don't believe this. 我真不敢相信
[01:37.16]That's your source? 那就是你的消息来源？
[01:37.24]You buried yourself, Alex. 是你搞死了你自己
[01:40.04]Then you weren't listening. 你根本没注意听
[01:41.24]I heard every word. 我听得很清楚
[01:46.04]You're a scam artist. 你是骗王之王
[01:47.00]- You trick women into getting... - Into getting out of their own way... 欺骗女人… 让她们放下心防…
[01:49.68]so great guys like Albert Brennaman have a fighting chance. 好让亚伯特这种好男人有机会
[01:54.96]No, I want everybody to take a good look at this right now. 我要大家仔细看清楚
[01:57.64]Because this right here... 因为这里发生的事…
[02:00.92]this is exactly why falling in love is so goddamn hard. 就是因为这样恋爱才这么难
[02:04.80]Sir, let's go. Now. 先生，请离场
[02:09.68]And Vance Munson is a pig! 范斯孟森是一头猪！
[02:13.84]And I refused to work with him. 我拒绝了他
[02:14.12]You need to get your facts right. 你的消息应该要查证确实
[02:18.12]It's because of jerks like him that I even have a job. 就是因为那种猪头我才有饭吃
[02:24.68]Had a job. 曾经有饭吃
[02:39.40]Can you believe that guy? 你相信那家伙吗？
[02:41.20]Actually, I do. 其实我相信耶
[03:05.32]You... 你...
[03:10.92]complete me. 成就了我
[03:12.28]- I might just have... - Shut up. 我可能只是… 闭嘴
[03:15.68]Just shut up. 请你闭嘴
[03:19.44]You had me at "hello." 你一开口就掳获了我
[03:47.08]No comment. 无可奉告
[03:55.72]This is off the record. 这不是采访
[04:02.80]I came to apologize. 我是来道歉的
[04:04.96]I made some assumptions about you... 我用一些错误的消息对你...
[04:09.48]based on nothing, it turns out. 妄下论断
[04:14.32]- I guess Casey's right. My best friend... - Don't worry about it. We're straight. 我想雀喜说得对 别担心，我们扯平了
[04:19.88]I should've asked you. But sometimes you're so guarded. 我应该先问过你 但你老是充满戒心
[04:24.56]I just don't wanna be another reason for you to... 我不想成为另一个…
[04:27.32]I'm not someone who likes to get involved past a certain point. 我在某个特定时间点之后 是不会吃回头草的
[04:32.52]And that point was about a week ago. 而那个时间点 是大约一周前
[04:42.04]Well, I just want to say I'm really sorry... 我只想告诉你，我很抱歉…
[04:48.72]and I didn't mean to hurt you. 我无意伤害你
[04:53.28]You didn't. 你没伤害到我
[04:57.44]That's a relief. 那真令人欣慰 |