[00:07.18]Okay, there is the cervix and the uterus. 好了 那个就是宫颈和子宫
[00:12.54]That dark sac there, that's the amniotic sac. 那个黑色的囊就是羊膜囊
[00:13.34]See that? 看到了吗?
[00:16.54]And right there in the middle is the embryo. 那里面就是胎儿
[00:20.74]Do you see that flicker? You know what that is? 看到那个颤动着的东西了吗? 知道那是什么吗?
[00:24.70]Yeah, it looks like you are pregnant. 恩 看来你是怀孕了
[00:25.02]Yeah, that's a heartbeat. 那就是心脏
[00:29.06]About eight or nine weeks, I'd say. 有八至九星期了
[00:29.94]Congratulations. 祝贺你们
[00:33.02]That... That's it? 就...就这样了?
[00:37.14]Yep. 对
[00:38.94]Take good care of it. 好好照顾
[00:40.42]Now the fun part starts. 有趣的部分开始咯
[00:42.78]Let me... Let me make a picture for you, huh? 让我来...让我给你们照张相吧?
[00:46.34]That'll be fun. 很好玩的
[00:53.42]Okay. Well, I'll... I'll meet you in my office. 好吧 恩 我... 我在办公室等你们
[00:56.98]Okay. 好的
[00:57.86]I'll give you a little time alone, there. 你们两个独处一下吧
[01:06.54]Oh, God. Oh, no. 天啊 不
[01:10.54]It's okay. 别难过了
[01:11.50]I can't fucking believe you didn't wear a bag! 我真他妈不敢相信 你居然不戴套!
[01:13.50]Who does that? 谁会那样做?
[01:15.30]Why did we go to Costco and buy a year's supply of condoms 有套你居然不用
[01:16.90]I can't believe you did this. You fucked everything up. 真不敢相信你做的事 你把一切都搞砸了
[01:17.98]if you weren't gonna use them, man? 那我们还跑到好事多 买1年份量的避孕套干嘛?
[01:19.18]JASON: Look, the real point is not to get yourself in this position. 你得避免让自己
[01:22.26]That's what you have to realize. 陷入这样的窘境
[01:23.54]Like, for example, if a woman's on top, she can't get pregnant. 比方说 如果女人在上面 她就不会怀孕
[01:24.86]You gotta know all the tricks. 你应该学多点儿技巧
[01:27.94]It's just gravity. Well, that's true. Everyone knows that. - 有重力在 - 对啊 每个人都知道
[01:29.60]I think it's awesome that you're gonna have a kid, man. 我认为这很好啊 你快有孩子了
[01:30.62]What goes up must come down. 上去了始终会下回来
[01:32.90]Think about it like this. 换个角度来想
[01:33.50]It's just an excuse to play with all your old toys again. 这样你不就有借口 再玩你以前的玩具咯?
[01:38.58]You know what I think you should do? 知道我认为你该怎么做吗?
[01:38.74]Take care of it. 处理好孩子
[01:41.42]Tell me you don't want him to get an "A" word. 你该不是想说打胎吧
[01:43.50]and I won't say it for little Baby Ears over there 但我不会在杰这种小孩面前说这个词的
[01:44.74]Yes, I do 是的
[01:47.38]but it rhymes with "Shmashmortion." 所以我会说"打月台"
[01:51.26]I'm just saying... Hold on, Jay, cover your ears. 我只是想说... 等下 杰 把你耳朵捂住
[01:51.58]You should get a shmashmortion 你应该带她到"打月台"诊所
[01:54.30]at the shmashmortion clinic. 去 做个"打月台"手术
[01:54.82]Ben, you cannot let these monsters 本 你不能让这帮禽兽
[01:58.30]have any part of your child's life. 走进你孩子的生活中
[01:59.82]All right? I'm gonna be there to rear your child. 知道吗? 我会帮你养育小孩的
[02:02.70]You hear that, Ben? Don't let him near the kid. 听到了吗? 本 别让他靠近你小孩
[02:03.78]He wants to rear your child! 他想"照顾"你孩子的后面!
[02:07.10]Do you use that Canadian flag tattoo 你用那个加拿大国旗纹身
[02:07.50]I just have a quick question. 我有个问题
[02:09.30]as a cum target of some sort? 来作为射精的瞄准目标吗?
[02:11.98]How many points do you get if you hit the leaf? Like a million? 如果射中旗上的枫叶 你能得多少分?
[02:14.90]Jonah, I am a patriot. 乔纳 我是个爱国者
[02:17.14]This is a tribute to my country and my countrymen. 这是献给我的祖国和人民的
[02:19.22]I always aim right. 我弹无虚发
[02:22.18]Right into a dude's ass. 是啊 都射进男人的屁股里了
[02:24.78]Please, guys. 别这样
[02:29.38]Ben, come on, man. I'm just kidding you. 本 别这样 我只是开玩笑的
[02:29.46]Oh, great. Now he's upset. I won't let him do it. - 太好了 现在他可烦了 - 我不会让他去的
[02:33.50]Allison, just take care of it. 艾丽森 把孩子打掉
[02:35.58]What's gonna happen with your career? 你的职业怎么办?
[02:36.62]Take care of it. Move on. 打掉孩子了 继续你的生活
[02:37.90]How are you gonna tell them? 你要怎么跟他们说?
[02:39.70]I have a while before I have to say anything. 这秘密还能保住一阵子
[02:40.66]I'm not gonna tell them for a while. 我暂时不会告诉他们的
[02:41.86]How could you not tell them? - 你怎能不告诉他们呢?
[02:42.60]They're not gonna know. 他们又发现不了
[02:44.26]I mean, I'm only gonna start to show when I'm like, 可能我怀了大概有六七个月
[02:45.62]I don't know, six months or something. Seven months. 才会有人看出来
[02:49.22]Three months. No. - 三个月 - 不可能
[02:49.50]Three months. Fat in the face, jowls, fat ass. 三个月 脸部发胖 屁股变大
[02:55.22]Debbie didn't get fat. 黛比又没变胖
[02:57.18]Debbie is a freak of nature. 黛比是个天生怪胎
[02:58.90]Mom, you know 妈妈 你知道的
[03:00.70]it's important to me that you be supportive. 你的支持 对我来说很重要
[03:02.02]I cannot be supportive of this. This is a mistake. 我不能支持你 这是个错误
[03:05.90]This is a big, big mistake. 很大很大的错误
[03:06.30]Now, think about your stepsister. 想想你的姐姐
[03:07.34]Now, you remember what happened with her? 记得她当时怎样了吗?
[03:10.10]She had the same situation as you 她和你处境相同
[03:11.10]and she had it taken care of. 而且她处理的很好
[03:13.06]And you know what? Now she has a real baby. 现在她有了个真正的孩子
[03:16.46]Honey, this is not the time. 宝贝 现在不是生孩子的时候
[03:18.66]I'm gonna be a grandfather. 我要做爷爷了
[03:21.82]You happy about that? 你很开心吗?
[03:23.46]Absolutely. Delighted. 当然 太高兴了
[03:24.42]This is a disaster. 这是个灾难
[03:25.18]It is... An earthquake is a disaster. - 这是... - 地震才算是灾难
[03:26.10]No, this is not a disaster. 才不是灾难呢
[03:29.70]Your grandmother having Alzheimer's so bad 你奶奶有严重的老年痴呆症
[03:32.10]she doesn't even know who the fuck I am, that's a disaster. 连我都认不得了 这才算是灾难
[03:33.78]This is a good thing. This is a blessing. 你这是一件好事 一种福分啊
[03:35.66]I have a vision for how my life would go, 我对自己未来的生活也有所展望
[03:39.70]and this definitely is not it. 这绝对不是我所期待的
[03:40.10]Wait. Is this your vision? 等等 你有向往的生活?
[03:41.70]Are you living your vision right now? 现在的生活就是你期待的?
[03:43.60]Well, that is sad, I'm telling you. 那可就太悲哀了
[03:45.42]I am kind of living my vision, yeah. 是这样的 恩
[03:46.10]Life doesn't care about your vision. Okay? 计划永远赶不上变化
[03:50.26]Stuff happens. You just got to deal with it. 一个个事件接踵而来
[03:50.70]You roll with it. 你要不断地处理好他们
[03:50.86]That's the beauty of it all. 你亲身去体验它们 这才是生活之美
[03:53.62]I just don't get how I tell the kid not to do drugs 我不知道要怎么让孩子别吸毒
[03:55.60]when I do drugs. 可我自己却在吸
[03:57.94]I'll feel like a hypocrite. 我觉得自己很假
[04:00.18]Well, remember what I told you 恩 你还记得你小时候
[04:02.30]when you were a teenager? 我怎么跟你说的吗?
[04:03.86]What did you say? I said, "No pills, no powders." - 你说了什么? - 我说"不磕药 不喝酒"
[04:04.66]Right. If it grows in the ground, it's probably okay. 是啊 如果是天然的食品 那还差不多
[04:05.98]That's right, that's right. 对对
[04:07.50]Like you told me not to smoke pot all those years, 正如一直叫我别吸烟
[04:08.66]I mean, I guess it worked. 我觉得还蛮有用的
[04:12.86]and then I found out you were smoking pot that whole time. 我却发现你整天都在吸大麻
[04:16.30]Not the whole time. 也不是整天吸
[04:16.70]Just in the evenings and all day every weekend. 只有晚上和周末
[04:19.06]Not that much. 也没那么多
[04:19.58]Honestly, though, when you look at me do you not think at all, like, 说真的 你看着我的时候 会不会想
[04:26.22]"You know, if he just never existed, 要是他不存在有多好
[04:27.02]"I would have avoided a massive heap of trouble," you know? 我就不会有这么多麻烦了
[04:31.74]Absolutely not. 当然不会这么想
[04:32.58]I love you totally and completely. 我非常的爱你
[04:35.62]You're the best thing that ever happened to me. 你的存在是我生命中最美好的事
[04:39.38]I'm the best thing that ever happened to you? 我是?
[04:39.94]Yeah. 恩
[04:40.94]Now I just feel bad for you. 那我可替你难过了
[04:51.78]BEN. ; Hello? Hi. Ben? - 喂? - 嗨 本吗?
[04:54.06]Oh. Hey, Allison. 噢 嗨 艾丽森
[04:56.74]How's it going? Good, good. - 还好吗? - 还好 |