温馨夜读 PART3 03 Cupid's Letter 丘比特的投诉信(在线收听) |
[ti:] [ar:] [al:] [by:] [00:00.32]Cupid's Letter 丘比特的投诉信 [00:06.11]Dear Sir or Madam: [00:09.51]I am writing in regard to your notice about the delay in shipment of my order [00:14.64]for 14 dozen Olympic quality, ultra accurate, gold tip arrows. [00:20.44]Perhaps you do not understand the urgency of the situation. [00:24.49]I realize that you have no control over the suppliers of your stock; however, [00:30.17]surely you have an existing supply in your warehouse. [00:34.33]As a valid customer for so many years, [00:37.72]I appeal to you to consider filling my order ahead of any others. [00:42.87]Since Valentine's Day will fall on the 14th day of February, as traditional, [00:48.88]it is imperative that my order be received no later than the 13th. [00:54.57]I must be ready for my flight early the next morning [00:58.18]in order to assure that couples the world over are not disappointed. [01:03.10]Without equipment, I am powerless and love cannot be delivered to those [01:08.46]in need of a bit of extra incentive at this time of the year. [01:12.50]Poets the world over have written poems and sonnets of love. [01:17.10]Famous couples throughout the ages have depended on me [01:21.31]to add that extra spark to their relationship [01:24.32]that makes it more than just mere friendship. [01:27.60]Surely you can understand that Cupid must have arrows! [01:31.75]Each and every year, I alone am responsible for targeting the hearts of individuals [01:38.97]and filling them with passion for a beloved. [01:42.47]What sort of Valentine's Day will it be if Cupid cannot complete this task? [01:48.06]I ask you, what sort of world would it be without love? [01:52.65]If you do not have the specific superfine carbon arrow, [01:57.35]perhaps you can substitute a graphite of equal quality. [02:01.94]While I do have a strong preference [02:04.79]from my many years of expertise in these matters of heart, [02:08.28]this is an emergency and not a time to stand on principle. [02:12.66]We are talking about love here. [02:15.07]Providing the incentive to fall in love is serious business. [02:19.44]While I do prefer carbon, ultra accuracy is not entirely essential, [02:25.02]as my shot is so powerful that it is likely [02:29.06]the unwary lover will be evoked into action even by a near center shot. [02:35.08]Reusing old arrows is not a practical option in my particular situation. [02:41.09]Regardless of the durability of the arrow shaft, [02:44.59]those struck by the arrow of Cupid usually become so amorous [02:49.40]that is almost impossible to recover the arrows. [02:52.91]For days, weeks, or even years after, [02:56.95]they will continue to pursue the beloved to the highest mountains, [03:01.22]to the deepest seas, to the ends of the earth, [03:04.17]if necessary well, you know the clichés. [03:07.22]This phenomenon is widely documented in song and poetry. [03:12.70]You may have felt the sting of my arrow at one time yourself. [03:16.96]Sooner or later practically everyone in the world is struck. [03:21.53]You see, therefore, just how essential it is that my order be filled in a timely manner. [03:28.10]Please ship the 14 dozen arrows or an appropriate substitute at your earliest convenience. [03:34.65]Otherwise I may be forced to refer the millions of irate lovers [03:40.01]who will be asking why there was no Valentine's Day this year to your complaint department. [03:45.92]Thank you for your kind attention, [03:48.65]and I shall be waiting for your express package with my bow and quiver ready. [03:54.12]The future of procreation is depending on you. [03:57.74]I'm sure I can count on your cooperation. [04:00.90]With Love, [04:02.22]Cupid |
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