—Do you think you could stop whistling? I'm trying to write an essay.

　　—Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were in the other room.

　　—Is it alright if I leave my rucksack on the back seat?

　　—Yes, of course. Go ahead.

　　—And would you mind if I took off my shoes? My feet are killing me.

　　—Well, I'd rather you didn't. It's a rather hot day.

　　—Hello, Charles, I haven't seen you all day. What have you been doing?

　　—Actually I've been working on my first novel.

　　—Oh, yes. How far have you got with it?

　　—Well, I thought of a good title, and I made a list of characters, and I've designed the front cover.

　　—Have you started writing it yet?

　　—Oh, yes. I've written two pages already.

　　—Only two?

　　—Well, yes. I haven't quite decided yet what happens next.

　　—I saw an accident yesterday.

　　—What were you doing at the time?

　　—I was queuing for the cinema.

　　—And what did you do when you saw the accident?

　　—I rushed forward to see if I could help.

　　—Hmm. You are a good squash player. How long have you been playing?

　　—I have been playing since the beginning of the last term. What about you?

　　—Me? Oh, I've been playing about two years now. But I'm still not very good.

　　—I've got a watch with a silver strap.

　　—That's nothing. I've got one with a gold strap.

　　—I've got a watch that tells you the date.

　　—That's nothing. I've got one that tells you the date and the day.

　　Woman: Look at these glasses, this one's even got lipstick on it.

　　Waiter: I'm very sorry, madam. I'll bring you clean ones right away.

　　Man: Ah, Head Waiter, I want to have a word with you.

　　Head Waiter: Yes, sir. Is there something wrong, sir?

　　Man: Something wrong? I should think there is something wrong. My wife and I have been kept here waiting nearly an hour for our meal!

　　Head Waiter: I'm terribly sorry about that, sir. Our staff has been kept unusually busy this evening. I'll see to it personally myself. Now, if you wouldn't mind just telling me what you ordered.

　　Woman: This coffee is practically cold.

　　Waiter: I am sorry, madam. I'll bring you a fresh pot straight away.

　　This table shows the number of commuters into central London between 7:00 am and 10:00 am daily. The total number is 1,023,000. Of these, 405,000 travel by underground—that's 29% of the total, and 28% travel by British Rail—that's 391,000 people daily. 10% use both rail and underground, and 10%, 99,000 people, travel by bus. That means a total of 788,000 people, 77%, on public transport. The remainder use private transport. 197,000 come by car and the rest come either by motorbike or bicycle. This means 4% come by motorbike or bicycle, and 19% by car.

　　Mrs. Nicholas went away for a fortnight. Before she went, she called in at the local police station and talked to the policeman on duty.

　　Mrs. Nicholas: I'm going away to the seaside for a few days and I'd like you to keep an eye on my home while I'm away.

　　Policeman: Certainly, Madam. What's your name and address?

　　Mrs. Nicholas: The name's Nicholas, and the address is 14 Spring Vale.

　　Policeman: Thank you. You'll lock all the doors, and make sure all the windows are shut, won't you?

　　Mrs. Nicholas: Of course.

　　Policeman: And you'll remember to cancel the milk.

　　Mrs. Nicholas: Yes, I've already done that.

　　Policeman: And the papers.

　　Mrs. Nicholas: Yes.

　　Policeman: And you won't leave any ladders about.

　　Mrs. Nicholas: No, we haven't got a big ladder.

　　Policeman: That's fine. Are you friendly with the people next door?

　　Mrs. Nicholas: Yes, we are.

　　Policeman: Well, I think you'd better tell them you're going away, too. Ask them to give us a ring if they see or hear anything suspicious.

　　Mrs. Nicholas: Yes, I will. Thank you.

　　(There is a party in progress and one person A is standing by the drinks table serving drinks. B approaches and A offers her a drink.)

　　B: Aha, I thought you might be here.

　　A: Ah, hello. How are you?

　　B: Not bad. How are you?

　　A: All right, I suppose.

　　B: What are you drinking?

　　A: Some sort of wine. Do you want some?

　　B: No, I think I'd prefer beer. Have they got any?

　　A: Yes, there's some over there.

　　(B pours out a drink.)

　　B: Well, what do you think of the party?

　　A: It's not bad. I'm not really in the mood for a party, though.

　　B: Why's that?'

　　A: I don't know, really. I suppose I'm a bit tired.

　　(During the last exchange C has approached the table to get a drink. A offers C a drink but accidentally drops it.)

　　A: Oh, sorry about that.

　　C: (annoyed) I should think so!

　　A: Don't worry. It's not too bad.

　　C: What do you mean? It's gone all over my trousers—I only bought them last week.

　　A: There's no need to shout.

　　C: (loudly) I'm not shouting.

　　A: Yes, you are.

　　C: (very loudly) No, I'm not!

　　B: (wanting to calm the situation) Look, look, why don't you dry them with this?

　　C: (ignoring B) You should watch what you're doing!

　　A: What do you mean? It was your fault!

　　B: How about another drink? (C ignores B.)

　　C: Anyway, don't I know you?

　　B: Do you want another drink? (C ignores B.)

　　A: You might do.

　　C: You didn't go to St. Mark's School, did you?

　　A: Yes, I did actually.

　　C: Yes, I remember now. You were going out with that awful girl, weren't you?

　　A: What do you mean?

　　C: You know, the one with the big nose. What happened to her?

　　A: We got married, actually. In fact, that's her over there.

　　C: Yes ...

　　1. A woman went into a bar and asked for a glass of water. The barman pointed a gun at her. She thanked him and went out.

　　2. A man was found lying dead in the middle of a desert. He had a pack on his back.

　　3. A woman dialed the number on the telephone. Someone answered and said, "Hello." She put the phone down with a happy smile.

　　4. A man is found dead in the room. There is no furniture, and all the doors and windows are locked from the inside. There is a pool of water on the floor.

　　5. There is a man on the bed and a piece of wood on the floor. The second man comes into the room with sawdust on his hands, smiles and goes out again.